My Tryout with the Red Sox

(The following post comes from a former minor league catcher who recently had a tryout with the Red Sox. He chooses to remain anonymous. Portions of the post have been edited for clarity.)

I was pretty surprised when Theo Epstein called me in for a tryout. I hadn't drawn interest from any of the other MLB teams after my midseason release last year, and Spring Training is nearly half over. My performance at the plate has been a bit disappointing the last few seasons, but I feel my defense has been markedly improved. I guess Theo must have seen something too, or else he wouldn't have called.

I sat on a bench in the middle of the Red Sox locker room, putting on my shin guards. I didn't recognize anyone, so I watched as the Sox players around me went about their morning routines. Kevin Youkilis sits with a laptop, checking stock prices. Mike Timlin cleans a large shotgun. Hideki Okajima and Daisuke Matsuzaka chat excitedly with one another, as Matsuzaka takes practice swings with a weighted bat. Coco Crisp sits in a corner, ferociously jabbing pins into a small Red Sox doll with the number "46" on it.

I hear a familiar voice call my name. A smiling Jacoby Ellsbury sidles up next to me. Jacoby is a former teammate. We shared many a minor league bus trip together, and I had hoped to run into him.

JE: "What are you doing here?"
Anonymous Catcher: "I've got a tryout today, and I'm just killin' time until then."
JE: "I sit here and just watch these guys all the time. It's part of learning to be a professional."

Closer Jonathan Papelbon saunters by, sporting a transparent Versace shirt. He is wearing batting gloves, and an ill-fitting fedora.

JE: "He wears that shirt every day now. He thinks it's lucky. He only came in 3rd place, so it can't be that lucky."

Josh Beckett slams a batting donut with a bat. The donut narrowly misses a bare-chested Dustin Pedroia. Beckett grimaces, and takes a swig of Slumpbuster. The diminutive second sacker dons a t-shirt immediately.

AC: "He probably could have just told Pedroia to put a shirt on.
JE: "Josh has been pretty moody lately. It might be because he drinks a case of that Slumpbuster stuff every day."

Clay Buchholz enters the room, to a round of applause. He grins, and takes a bow.

JE: "I don't know why he's so cocky. That no-hitter was a long time ago. Plus, he's still a rookie, too."
AC: "Wasn't he linked to some magazine centerfold, or something?"
JE: "Maybe. I don't pay attention to that stuff. I'm just here to play ball."

Suddenly, there is a loud commotion from in front of Doug Mirabelli's oversized locker. Manny Ramirez is emptying the contents of Mirabelli's locker into a pair of large cardboard boxes. It is apparent that he has little regard for the backup catcher's personal property. The animated outfielder motions to reliever Julian Tavarez, who attempts to remove Mirabelli's nameplate with his bare hands.

JE: "I don't even know what those guys are up to."

As Tavarez begins to try to remove the nameplate with his bat, I am called to the field. There are four other catchers trying out. As we walk towards the covered bullpen where the tryout will take place, we see Tim Wakefield taking cuts in a batting cage.

The tryout is rather quick. A RHP, who looks strangely like a 35 yr. old Phil Niekro, throws fifty knuckleballs to each catcher. Pitching coach John Farrell and a mustachioed man stand next to the mound. The pitcher is given instruction, by the mustachioed man, in a language I don't recognize.

After the last catcher has finished, we are gathered in front of Theo Epstein and statistician Bill James. Theo thanks us for our time, and indicates that he will "be in touch." One of the other catchers inquires as to why we didn't get a chance to bat during the tryout. Theo smiles knowingly at James. James is expressionless. Neither responds.

Before returning to the locker room, I stop to tie my spikes. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Craig Breslow approach Theo on the pitcher's mound. Breslow is wearing a white lab coat over his uniform.

TE: "He performed as needed. But I still don't understand why he only speaks Polish. The translator raises suspicions."
CB: "Well, I'm still working on the sequencing, but it seems that the pitching is more imp.."

Theo walks away mid-sentence. It is apparent that he has much to do...