Bosox Injections

A cautionary tale

2008-12-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

The diminutive former infielder pulled his bedraggled form onto the barstool. The bartender sidled over. "The usual, MVP?"
Dustin Pedroia winced, as the inquiry brought unwanted memories to the forefront of his thoughts. "I told you never to call me that", Pedroia snapped, sending the barkeep scampering for cover.

On December 3, 2008, Pedroia had signed a six-year contract extension worth $40.5 million. The move was lauded as a win for both sides. The Sox had locked up the second best 2B in baseball for half the salary of the best at the position, Philadelphia's Chase Utley. Pedroia had parlayed two decades of hard work, and two sensational seasons, into long-term security with the MLB club for whom he hoped to play his entire career.

Pedroia was worth every penny in 2009. He collected a second Gold Glove, and a second Silver Slugger award. He would have repeated as AL MVP, had Dallas sportswriter Evan Grant included Pedroia somewhere on his MVP ballot.

The following offseason did not go as well. Pedroia had invested heavily in a Ballroom Dancing Academy in Needham, MA, but took a sizeable loss when it was forced to close its' doors. The recession had forced the majority of his students to choose rent over tuition. Pedroia was also involved in an altercation at a Popeye's Chicken in Austin, Texas. While he gained additional "street cred" as a result of the brawl, he lost a lucrative endorsement deal with Versace as a result. These distractions also adversely affected his preparations for the 2010 season.

Pedroia struggled from the start in 2010. In June, amid rumors the would soon start to lose ABs to rookie Ryan Khoury, Pedroia started to turn things around. But a collision at second base, while turning a double play, resulted in a season-ending injury to the distal biceps in his right elbow. There was speculation that he would have returned sooner, if he had worked harder in the preceding offseason. Considering that a similar injury had ended the career of hockey goaltender Martin Brodeur, this speculation seemed a bit harsh.

Pedroia seemed on track to return for 2011, until a terrifying Spring Training incident against the Tampa Rays. In retaliation for comments made by Pedroia during the 2010 season, Rays reliever Pedro Martinez beaned the second-sacker. Martinez was suspended for life, and lost his chance at Cooperstown. Pedroia suffered a serious concussion, and though he returned in 2012, he was never the same player. He was exiled to the AL wasteland of Detroit, in a salary dump in 2014, and retired at the end of the season. Injuries had turned Pedroia from an MVP, into a replacement-level utility player.

Dustin Pedroia nursed his drink, as he watched Scott Kazmir face the Sox on NESN. Pedroia regretted the fact that he wasn't still in a Sox uniform. "I OWNED that guy!", Pedroia announced to the room. Pedroia had other regrets- accepting investment advice from Papelbon, quitting his Sullivan Tire gig, losing a big chunk of his earnings to Francona in cribbage. But he didn't regret his career. Just the fact that, with a little luck, he could have still been a Red Sox.

Enshrinement

2008-12-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

(December 25, 2028)
Jim Rice loved Christmas Day. He had lived through seventy-five Christmas Days, each one better than the one that preceded it. Mostly, he looked forward to the neckties. Oh, how he loved the neckties! He needed 180 different neckties, one for each regular-season game the Red Sox would play in 2029, and would receive at least that many today. But, it wasn't all about the ties. Christmas was also the day when the year's Hall of Fame inductees were announced. The day, Rice hoped, he would finally receive Baseball's highest honor.

The year 2012 had been a year of milestones. Presidential candidate Sarah Palin garnered a total of three Electoral votes. The recession, which had started in December of 2007, came to an end. More importantly, it is remembered for Cole Hamels' 32 Wins, and Jonathan Papelbon's 84 Holds. It was also the year the "New Baseball Hall of Fame" welcomed its' first entrants.

Like most of the 21st century's great ideas, "The New Hall" was born on the internets. This particular great idea grew from the primordial ooze of a Baltimore Orioles message board. Cooperstown had become bloated, weighed down by years of marginal selections. As fans gained a greater understanding of baseball statistics, the numerous enshrinement errors became all the more apparent. Bill James, Evan Grant, Rob Neyer, and SABR joined forces, and the Virtual Baseball Hall of Fame was born.

Cooperstown and the BBWAA fought the decreasing relevance of their Hall, but Senator Curt Schilling (Republican-Arizona) pushed forth legislation that recognized the "New Hall" as the "Official" Baseball Hall of Fame. In the ashes of an Ikea in Medford, Massachusetts, a brick and mortal Hall was constructed. Senator Schilling was included among the first Inductees to be honored at the New Hall, and announced his intent to run for the U. S. Presidency at that first ceremony. By the time President Schilling entered his second term, Cooperstown was used as a storage facility for Medford. Against the forest green background on the BBWAA's web site, which was designed long before Jim Rice's MLB debut, was a terse statement. The BBWAA was no longer involved in Hall of Fame voting, or Award selections, but a message board was "Coming Soon!"

Jim Rice switched off Virtual Bill James long before James reached the letter "R." Rice didn't need to watch the "Methodology Monologue" to know why he hadn't been selected. He had heard the reasons before. He hadn't been dominant for a long enough period. His greatest skill was coming to the plate with many baserunners. Contemporary wisdom emphasized "walks" and "not making outs", which weren't among his strengths.

Rice smiled, as he picked up his favorite photograph. He thought back to 2009, when he had entered Cooperstown with Rickey Henderson and Bert Blyleven. While he dreamed of enshrinement in Medford, enshrinement in Cooperstown was still an impressive accomplishment. He had enjoyed a great career, and was about to enjoy his 75th Christmas Dinner. He just needed to select the right necktie for the occasion.

Luck is the residue of design...

2008-11-28T16:03:00.000-08:00

"Last time I was here, they thanked me for wearing pants!" Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon reminisced to no one in particular, as the 2009 World Champions walked on the South Lawn. GM Theo Epstein smiled, as he watched the inimitable reliever hold court. Epstein, himself, was now a veteran of three White House trips, and fully expected to make a few more return visits. Those future Championships, the young GM hoped, would be a little less emotionally draining.

Cutting ties with Captain Jason Varitek was the most difficult choice, at least from a personal standpoint. As a business decision, it was a no-brainer. The veteran backstop was on the downside of his career, as evidenced by his .646 OPS in 2009 with Detroit. Varitek lost the starting job to backup Dusty Ryan in August, and was considering returning to Boston for 2010, as a minor league instructor. Mike Napoli, acquired from the Angels in January 2009, had proven to be a satisfactory replacement. When Napoli went on the DL in early July, Epstein picked up Ramon Hernandez from Baltimore in a salary dump. Upon Napoli's return, the two veterans split time until the playoffs, when Napoli started 15 of 16 games. The Hernandez acquisition kept Napoli fresh for the postseason, and allowed the Sox to send Kevin Cash, and his OPS+ of 11, to Pawtucket. The Boston catchers combined for 32 HRs in 2009, 29 more than Varitek had produced for the Tigers.

Trading Mike Lowell to Anaheim had been almost as difficult. But, when you have a chance to lock up a premium bat like Mark Teixeira for the next decade, you do what it takes. Theo hadn't been worried about tying up $24 million a year in one position player, or blocking top prospect 1B Lars Anderson. He had prevented the division rival Yankees from acquiring the 29 year old All-Star, and had picked up the 2009 AL MVP without sacrificing any minor league talent. The Lars Anderson situation would work itself out in a few years, and eating a quarter of Lowell's remaining contract was an acceptable cost.

The only offseason objective that Epstein had failed to achieve was dumping SS Julio Lugo. The underperforming infielder was due $18 million through 2010, and had been slated to back up Jed Lowrie at SS. But a worthwhile trade could not be found, and Lugo entered 2009 as a $9 million utility infielder. However, Lowrie suffered a season-ending ankle injury in June, and Lugo was given the opportunity to start. Lugo was league-average, both at the plate, and in the field, but that's all the Sox needed.

Epstein's self-analysis was interrupted by the buzz of his cell phone. He smirked when he realized the identity of the caller.

Manny Ramirez: Theo, man, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. My grandmother died.

Epstein: Don't worry about it, Manny. I am sorry for your loss.

Ramirez: I want to come back to Boston, boss. I love Boston. I want to retire a Red Sox.

Epstein: We'll see, Manny. I have to go meet The President now.

Epstein had learned long ago not to discount any possibility. He was in the business of winning Championships, and would do whatever he deemed necessary to return to the White House after every season. Any Red Sox could be traded, any former Red Sox could return.

(In Florida, free agent reliever Eric Gagne awoke with a start, clutching his Boston Red Sox bedsheets.)

This is not the Greatest Post in the World, it is just a Tribute

2008-11-18T16:27:00.000-08:00

Dustin Pedroia was selected by the Baseball Writers With Votes as the 2008 AL MVP. Not a bad selection. He had an excellent year. The correct selection was teammate Kevin Youkilis, however. (Or, maybe, it was Joe Mauer.) But, Pedroia was a reasonable choice. He was certainly one of the top three possible choices. Without a doubt, he was in the Top 10. Right?

Well, Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News doesn't think so. But, he must have, like, really good reasons. Heck, he wouldn't have a vote, if he didn't know things, n'est-ce pas?
What say you, Evan?

When I looked at the numbers that mattered to me the most, OPS,

OPS, huh? OPS is a good stat. At BI, we are partial to OPS+. But, we're cool with OPS. It's a lot better that Mostest Home Runs (MHR). Or, Greatest Number of At Bats with Runners on Base (GNABROB),
So, let's see who had the highest OPS in the AL. Milton Bradley (.999). Wow, .999. That is some serious OPS'ing. Milton must be near the top of Evan's list.

Here is Grant's 10-person ballot:
Kevin Youkilis
Francisco Rodriguez
Justin Morneau
Josh Hamilton
Carlos Quentin
Alex Rodriguez
Cliff Lee
Joe Mauer
Grady Sizemore
Carlos Pena

Nope, no Bradley. But, Evan considers other things...

and batting average with runners in scoring position

Yikes. We'll ignore the "batting average" part. We're sure he really meant "OPS with runners in scoring position." We're not too excited about looking at a sample size of 100 ABs, but let's check out how Milton did. He must have sucked. Cool name, minimal "clutchiness."
Nope. Milton had a .971 OPS with RISP. (And a .278 BA, for those who care for such things.)
So, Milton was at the top of the AL in the things that matter the most to Evan, but didn't make it into Evan's Top 10.

Let's look again at Evan's actual Top 10.

1. Kevin Youkilis

Excellent choice. We approve.

2. Francisco Rodriguez

Double Yikes. Yes, Rodriguez had the most saves in the History of Ever this season. How important are "saves", anyways? (Short answer: Extremely important, unless you are NOT Rodriguez' agent, or an immediate family member.)
Rodriguez pitched well, in 68.1 innings. Cliff Lee (5th on Evan's list) pitched well for 223.1 innings. Roy Halladay (not on the list) pitched well for 246.0 innings.
Rodriguez wasn't even the AL MVPitcher.

The rest of Evan's list isn't bad. Mauer could probably be a bit higher. Bradley and Halladay could be on there. Aubrey Huff (5th in AL OPS), perhaps?
Carlos Pena beat out Dustin Pedroia for the 10th spot, but Evan has reasons:

When it got down to it, the last place on my ballot was Pedroia or Pena, Pedroia or Pena. I don't have a guy from the Rays on my ballot and they won 97 games. I was going to vote to make sure Carlos Pena got recognized.

So, Pena was more MVP-y than Pedroia because Kevin Youkilis was a Boston Red Sox. Conversely, if Youkilis was a Tampa Bay Ray, would that have made Pedroia more MVP-y than Pena? What if Youkilis played cricket in Pakistan for the Otago Volts? In that case, is Pedroia more or less valuable than Pena?

Evan sums up his thoughts on Pedroia:

he just didn't stack up with Youkilis at all. He was a laggard behind the others who had great years in the American League

laggard (n.) - a person or thing that lags

Pedroia didn't stack up with Youkilis. Youkilis was a worthy top choice. BI would also like to salute Evan for using the sorely underutilized word "laggard." But Pedroia did not lag behind the nine others in Evan's Top 10. (Except, maybe, Mauer. There may have been some Pedroia-lagging there.)

Is it an error of omission that he's (Pedroia) left off my ballot entirely? You could say that.

Yes, Evan, you could say that.

(Hat tip: Boston.com's Extra Bases blog.)

Evan does admit that Pedroia should have been in his Top 10. He did do a pretty good job with the rest of his ballot. (Well, except the Rodriguez part.)
The real laggards here are:
1. the dude who voted Jason Bartlett 5th
2. whoever designed the BBWAA's web site (Triple Yikes)
3. the GM of the Otago Volts

Triunfo

2008-07-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

(The following was originally posted in the Boston Herald on October 4th, 2008.)

In baseball, as in many sports, the difference between a playoff team and a non playoff team is often one player. In the case of the 2008 Red Sox, it was one mid-July acquisition who turned a weakness into a strength. Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein paid a heavy price on July 19th, but the AL East title would not have been won without that move.

As the Red Sox entered the month of July, the AL East was up for grabs. But the bullpen, which had been perceived as a strength in April, was in disarray. Closer Jonathan Papelbon was still in top form, but every Sox reliever who hadn't slaughtered 4402 innocent ducks in the winter prior to the 2007 season was struggling. Mike Timlin (3468 slaughtered ducks) seemed ready to start hunting ducks full-time. Julian Tavarez had been DFA'd by Boston and Milwaukee. Tavarez was last seen by Boston Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara in June, aimlessly wandering the jungles of Tanzania.

Projected setup man Hideki Okajima appeared to be suffering from a sophomore jinx. It later came to light that Okajima had been having difficulty sleeping. This sleeping disorder was likely the result of the cool May night during which Okajima had awoken to find Daisuke Matsuzaka standing over him. Dressed as the purple Teletubbie. Craig Hansen had overcome sleeping problems of his own, but had not been able to overcome his AAA-quality repertoire.

Most troubling of all was the story of Manny Delcarmen. Delcarmen was placed on the 60-Day DL on July 11th, as a result of injuries sustained defending a Fenway Park concessions worker from a giant rat. The heroic tale of "Delcarmen the Defender" was an inspiring one, at least until it was discovered to be a complete fabrication. A YouTube clip showed Delcarmen sustain his injury while shooting a Milli Vanilli video. Jonathan Papelbon attributed Delcarmen's lip-synching-related injury to a "total lack of rhythm."

But, at 1pm on July 19th, Epstein announced the acquisition of the player who would save the Red Sox' 2008 season. The player cost was high, as top prospects Ryan Kalish and Michael Bowden were dealt. The payroll cost was high, as the Sox had to pay $5 million in salary, and guarantee $3 million in bonuses, for three months of pitching. Kalish and Bowden may go on to become productive MLBers, perhaps even All-Stars. However, without stabilizing their bullpen, the Sox would not have been a playoff team in 2008. Eric Serge Gagne had saved their season.

The Return of the Schill

2008-07-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

(The following was originally published in the Boston Globe, on October 25th, 2008.)

Forget about the Bloody Sock. Curt Schilling has a new legacy.

Schilling continued his miraculous return from injury, with three scoreless innings in his first appearance since the 2007 World Series. Schilling, in relief of Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka (131 pitches in five innings) held the Phillies to a single baserunner in a dominating performance. Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon finished off the Phillies in the 9th, sending the Series to Philadelphia even at a game apiece.

When Schilling had surgery on June 23, it appeared likely that his career was over. Even the most optimistic estimates had him at least a year away from a possible return to the MLB level.
Schilling's intermittent blog postings gave no indication as to the extent of his rehabilitation efforts. Rather, he seemed more focused on his post-career plans, as well as informing his readers of their need to vote for Presidential Candidate John McCain. When Schilling announced he was ready to return to action, for the ALCS against Detroit, Red Sox Management did not share his optimism. They chose to put reliever Chris Smith on the roster, instead. That decision did not sit well with Schilling, and his vitriolic response reverberated around the blogosphere. If Smith hadn't pitched the final twelve innings in Game 7 against Detroit, the disenchanted veteran might have been left off the roster for The Fall Classic, as well.

But any remaining animosity between Schilling and the Sox dissipated into the Fenway night, as Schilling retired Phillie-after-Phillie. He improved his postseason record to 11-2, and helped prevent the Sox from falling behind 2-0 in the Series. What's next for Schilling? We'll see, when the Series resumes in Philadelphia. But, if he can top tonight's performance, Cooperstown is going to have to make room for a whole Schilling Wing.

The Return of The Curse

2008-04-24T15:46:00.000-07:00

(The following is an excerpt from the opening chapter of CHB's "The Return of The Curse." Published in December 2011, after the Boston Red Sox won their 5th consecutive World Championship, it examines how one week in April 2008 set the tone for a modern baseball dynasty.)

There were fewer casualties at Antietam. There was less anguish during the Irish Potato Famine. The Bubonic Plague had spread through the Red Sox clubhouse- Murphy and his Law were ravaging the roster. The bad moon had risen over the Monster Seats. The Boston Nine needed a hero. But with Neil Diamond on tour, Larry Bird unavailable, and Curt Schilling overweight and disabled, to whom would they turn?

The Great Bill Belichick would have responded with a gaggle of cliches. "It is what it is," the football mastermind would state. Curt Schilling probably had plenty to say, but no one was listening. Luckily, Theo followed Bird's example, and remained calm, and in control. He directed his Minions to beat the bushes, which they did every bit as hard as Charles Robert Watts beats the drumskins. Branch Rickey and Pete Best would have been proud. The Sox would face a TET Offensive of disease with a band of hardy souls fighting their own personal battles with The Mendoza Line.

Dennis Haskins and John Ritter were in attendance on April 24th, 2008, but the Sox lineup they saw was no laughing matter. Southpaw Justin (no relation to Bat) Masterson made his major league debut. He probably could have used some of Schilling's sage advice, but the rotund pitcher was playing Pac-Man somewhere. Schilling is no Larry Bird. Schill's not even Al Nipper. The immortal Kevin Forrest Cash was Masterson's batterymate. Man-Ram was in left, piling up monstrous numbers, but contributing little. Julio Lugo positioned himself between the second and third sacks, providing half the defensive prowess that Bobby Doerr had provided at the position. Was this a playoff team? Get a grip.

(I'm pretty surprised CHB's publisher sent me a review copy of the book. They must have looked at the blog label list, and not read any of the content in this space.
Actually, I'm even more surprised that CHB found a publisher. Nothing new for CHB here- forced pop/historical references, a bit of Schill/Theo/Belichick-hate, and an obvious need for a good fact-checker. He took a week five seasons ago that no one remembers, and tried to attach major significance to it. It will be easier to find a living room in New England without any free Jordan's furniture, than a New England bookshelf with this masterpiece on it. Though, I must admit that adopting "CHB" as his pen name was a mildly amusing move.)

Sox Complete Sweep

2008-04-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

The Sox improved to an AL-best 14-7 today, completing their sweep of the Texas Rangers. They have won nine of their last ten. Were you worried when they were 5-6? Well, quit worrying. Joe Thurston's not worried. Look at him- hugging it out with Brad Mills. The Law of Large Numbers isn't worried, either. The Maths and the replacement-level roster fillers all believe in the Sox' superiority.

Boston started a lineup with plenty of backups today, including Cash, Macha, Thurston, and Lugo. It didn't matter. The Sox don't lose on fake Masachusetts/Maine/Wisconsin holidays. The Rangers would have been better served taking the day off, watching that big race, and shielding their ERAs from further damage.

One question did come to mind today, however. No, not "Why do all of the Joe Thurston- Red Sox pictures on the internets seem to involve him hugging someone?" The answer to that is, obviously, because he is thankful for not being released, and forced to play in the Independent Leagues. The question is,"How come I did not know until today that Curt Schilling-voiced GPS's were available?" This is a brilliant idea. Or, at least, a brilliant start of an idea. Pedroia. Tavarez. Ramirez. Beckett. Papelbon. They all need to be represented in the GPS genre. I would buy every single one of them. AND a different car for each. Forget about retirement, I'll keep working well past Macha's age, if that's what it takes. This NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

Now, I shall watch the hockey. While fantasizing of a Pedroia-voiced GPS.

Soxian Concerns

2008-04-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

There are some serious Soxian issues that must be addressed. Even though it is quite early in the season, some major problems have become apparent. If these concerns are not responded to in a timely manner, it is possible that I will not receive my new couch for free.

Dustin Pedroia needs to stop doing commercials. Immediately. Those Sullivan Tire commercials are just horrendous. I'd much rather watch him dance. I am sure I am not alone in this. Watching a whole season's worth of these commercials might be worse than watching a whole season's worth of Julio Lugo "play defense."

That guy in New York who buried a Sox jersey underneath the new Yankee Stadium- what was he thinking? Serious breach of protocol. You can't just go burying things under the new Yankee Stadium on a whim. You certainly don't want to publicize it, at least not until the time is right. There are steps to be followed, approvals to be acquired. He should have paid the (nominal) application fee, and stated his case at a meeting. If his submission was approved, it would have been logged in The Archives, and we would have assigned Tim Van Egmond to see to the insertion. (Note: We have former Sox P Van Egmond on retainer, NOT the storyteller/folk singer Van Egmond.) I've got so much stuff buried under the new Yankee and Met ballparks, that both franchises will be cursed for millenia. When my contributions are discovered centuries from now, The Archives will ensure my legacy.

The Sox have been erratic on the field, so far, but their pregame shenanigans have been spot-on. They have had some brilliantly-conceived theme nights this past week, which have flown under the radar. In case you missed it, Japanese-American Night included real, live ninjas battling on the warning track. I'm not sure who came up with the idea to have two of the fourteen ninjas on the active roster at the time battle for their Sox lives, but that was one, inspired idea. Usually the decision of whether to keep Bryan Corey, or David Aaardsma, would have involved a bunch of scouts and statisticians battling it out, with words. Swords are much better. As Corey and Aaardsma fought on the Green Monster's ladder, I realized that there was no way the loser would pass through waivers. Ninjas are almost as rare as southpaws these days. (I also wondered if anyone would notice if Aardsma added another "a" to the front of his surname. Probably not.)

As good as Japanese-American Night was, I think I enjoyed Native American Night even more. It was pretty cool watching the lacrosse match in right field. The Detroit Tigers relief corps enjoyed it too, even opening their bullpen door, and watching the game from the warning track. That might have been a bigger mistake than trading for Dontrelle Willis. The lacrosse players pulled out concealed tomahawks, and stormed the Tiger bullpen. Even though Detroit had a complement of eight men in the pen, only two (Todd Jones and Bobby Seay) remained after the vicious attack. Fortunately for Detroit, the six fallen relievers were only of AAA-quality, and, thus, easily replaceable. (RIP, Jason Grilli!)

When race cars took over the TV screen in the 9th inning of Saturday's game, I originally thought it was a promo for Redneck American Night. But, alas, FOX had decided to pre-empt the glorious conclusion of another Sox win. Obviously, it was of vital importance that we didn't miss a second of the fast cars turning left for hours. Even the (few) remaining NASCAR neophytes realize how crucial the first (of 312) lap is. It's a shame that FOX didn't have the technology to come up with another solution. Someday, the means to show multiple programs on the same screen, simultaneously, will be available. That will be a good day. (Especially during the NHL Playoffs.)

Sometimes it's more than a game...

2008-04-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Wow. An incredible pregame ceremony, followed by a dominating Daisuke/bullpen shutout of the disheveled Detroit Tigers. I almost wish I had spent that chunk of disposable income on Opening Day tickets, instead of on those Clemens-used gauze pads. Though the gauze pads are a better long-term investment, it would have been amazing to have been at Fenway today.

There were so many great moments. The reasonably-priced flyover. Tedy Bruschi, Johnny Bucyk, and Curt Leskanic on the field with Championship Trophies of their own. Pesky and Papi leading the team into the outfield to hoist the flag. Manny and Pesky sharing a moment in the outfield, until G38 butted in. The reanimated corpse of Steven Tyler performing "God Bless America."

There were a few disappointments. Kyle Snyder was not in attendance to receive his ring. Instead of using the money from the Green Monster auctions to reanimate Steven Tyler for a day, they should have chosen, instead, to reanimate Ted Williams. Or perhaps John Henry. Even more disturbingly, CHB was permitted in the ballpark AND on NESN. (Inexcusable.) The announcement that "Boston's most popular musicians" would be performing preceded The Boston Pops, as opposed to Dream Theater. Neil Diamond indicated that he would be at Fenway this summer, to do "Sweet Caroline" live. But, as it turns out, he will be playing an actual concert, instead of that one song at a Sox game. (Remy shared my confusion/dismay upon figuring out the truth.)

Two moments stood among all the others, at least to me. Obviously, Bill Buckner throwing out the first pitch was one of them. A statement that "The Curse", if it ever truly existed, is a thing of the past. The distant past. The current team is a perennial contender. While the failures of past decades will never be forgotten, they may be forgiven, or at least not hurt quite as much.
(Except for Dent, the Bagwell trade, and not re-signing James, which are all still seriously pissing me off.)

My favorite moment from today- Tim Wakefield and Johnny Pesky walking back to the infield after the celebration, arms around each other, Wakefield bending slightly as he spoke to Pesky.
Just. Perfect.

Where Are They Now? J.D. Drew

2008-04-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

(The following was originally
published in the February 11, 2027 edition of BostonGlobeOnline. It was the 7th installment of the "2007 Sox: Where Are They Now?" series.)

J.D. Drew always felt a little out of place. It just seemed like he wasn't where he was supposed to be. While he was fairly successful as a Major League player, his considerable physical abilities indicated that he was capable of much more. Nagging injuries often kept him out of the lineup, and sapped his productivity when he was able to play. His detractors referred to him as "D.L. Drew" or "Nancy", criticizing the outfielder for his inability to stay on the field. The most vociferous of his critics implied that his injuries were more imagined, than real. But, to Drew, those injuries were very real. It was his body trying to send him a message.

As a professional athlete, Drew realized how important it was to take care of his body. A ballplayer's career is relatively short, so Drew knew it was crucial to do whatever necessary to maximize his income. Drew never smoked, or consumed alcohol, and he resisted the tempations of performance-enhancing drugs. Instead, a devout Christian, Drew filled his body with God. In his efforts to maximize his ball-playing income, he often made decisions that were seen as "disloyal." But Drew's choices were guided by his loyalties to his family, and to his Savior.

When it came to Drew's baseball career, there is no argument that Boston Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein was the one who saved it. Much to the dismay of the Red Sox' corner of the blogosphere, Epstein signed Drew to a lucrative free agent deal prior to the 2007 season. During that less-enlightened era, the blogosphere fanbase (bfb) had little input on such decisions. (Ironically, Epstein is credited for pioneering the current practice of acquiring the blogosphere fan bases' consent before proceeding with personnel moves of any kind.) As is typically the case, the bfb's concerns proved valid, and Drew struggled through one of his worst statistical seasons.

Prior to the 2008 season, Drew's stock dropped further. He struggled in Spring Training. Privately, he was criticized by his teammates for declining to participate in a dance contest. In fantasy baseball drafts, he was selected after the likes of Skip Schumaker and Clete Thomas. Realizing the correlation between fantasy draft position and actual performance, Epstein increased his efforts to trade the embattled outfielder. But Epstein was unable to find an appropriate deal. Much to the bfb's chagrin, Drew accompanied the Red Sox on their season-opening trip to Japan.

It was in Japan that everything finally "clicked" for Drew. Maybe it was the small ballparks. Perhaps it was the smaller baseballs, or the AA-quality pitching. In the two exhibition games in Japan, Drew played as well as he had played in years. His body felt decades younger. Drew was confused by the changes, and asked Epstein to keep him out of the first two regular-season games, also played in Japan. Drew took that time to consider his situation.

When Drew and the Sox returned to the U.S., the outfielder's intermittent pains returned. Epstein and the bfb grew impatient. Three weeks into the regular season, Drew was summoned to meet with the Boston General Manager. Epstein informed Drew that he would be joining the Hanshin Tigers that weekend. Initially, Drew thought he was being pranked, as 2012 NL Cy Young Award Winner Kyle Kendrick of the Philadelphia Phillies had been a month earlier. But this was no joke. It was a blessing. For Drew, the Red Sox, and his new team, the Tigers.

Drew went on to become one of the most successful American players in the history of the Japanese League. Nicknamed "Tetsujin (Iron Man)" by the Japanese fans, the suddenly durable Drew did not miss a single inning in his twelve seasons in Japan. He was celebrated for his work ethic and leadership skills, and followed his successful playing career with an even more successful managerial career.

The deal also worked out pretty well for the Red Sox. Though the sale of Drew's contract to Hanshin did not result in the acquistion of a player in return, it did open up a major-league roster spot for another outfielder. A rookie by the name of Brandon Moss was recalled from the AAA Pawtucket Red Sox to take Drew's roster spot. You don't need to be a member of the Red Sox bfb to know how well that move turned out for the Red Sox organization.

Terry's Take

2008-03-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

(The following is the transcript of Red Sox Manager Terry Francona's controversial remarks after the "Iceberg Classic" on November 20th, 2008.)

"Was it "special?" You're asking me if it was "special?" Yeah, it was special. The whole damn season was special.

First, there was the trip to Japan. That was great. Papelbon still doesn't know what day of the week it is. Drew refuses to play now, unless he's facing Japanese pitchers, throwing Japanese baseballs. I can't sleep at night because those Hanshin fans are still chanting and banging in my head 24-7. I stay up all night playing Nintendo Duck Hunt with Timlin and Tavarez. Yep, that's pretty special. But MLB wanted the Red Sox in Japan, so we went to Japan.

Then they send us to play in a football stadium in Los Angeles. 115,000 fans, left field wall 200 feet away. That was special. Manny didn't even play in the game, and he still thinks he's supposed to stand on second base when we're on defense. Crisp and Ellsbury have been running themselves ragged trying to cover the entire outfield all season. Lugo was trying to hit 200 ft. homers, until we finally released him. Theo took the bullet, but I was the one who ordered Lugo's immediate release after he went into the home run trot on that pop-up in Detroit. I was the one who made him exit the field through the Tigers' dugout. We ate about $26 million dollars with that move. We could have signed Darvish for 2009 for that money. Well, after paying the $200 million posting fee. But MLB wanted the Red Sox in L.A., so we went to L.A.

Then we had the World Series. MLB's concerned about "competitive balance." So they tell us we have to use Kevin Cash as our DH. Even though we had released him in May when his OPS+ was a NEGATIVE 102. I still don't understand how you get a negative OPS+ . You'll have to ask James. But, if anyone could have a negative OPS+, it's Cash. So Papi has to move to 1B, and Youk watches the World Series from the bench. Because Youk doesn't have the range to play in a two-man outfield. Cash goes 0 for the series, but we still sweep. I get three free couches out of that deal. A successful end to the season, right?

No, MLB sends us to Antarctica. For the flipping "Iceberg Classic." A game against a team from Korea, in temperatures lower than Cash's OPS+. You ever get frostbite AND sunburn at the same time? Not a pleasant experience. It's the 5th inning, we're playing baseball on a glacier, and I'm wearing 26 layers of clothes. THAT'S when MLB sends a guy to check that I'm wearing the proper uniform. I'll tell you, when I saw that sheet of ice they had us play on, I was about to pull my team off the field. We played that game for the Red Sox Destinations group. NOT for MLB.

Where is MLB going to have us play next, a VOLCANO? Tavarez told me about a game he played in a volcano. Between the molten rock, and the body thetans clustering about, how can you focus on baseball? Yeah, it's been a real special season. That's all I have to say."

Sox in Japan

2008-03-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

(Scene: A small interrogation room under the streets of Tokyo. Red Sox reliever Bryan Corey, secured to a metal chair, sits across a table from a diminutive Japanese man. The man sits with his hands folded on the table, resting next to a small stereo. A pushcart filled with various implements of torture is two feet to Corey's right. A large Japanese man stands next to the cart, gripping a whip with his left hand. Two burly guards stand on either side of the only exit. )

INTERROGATOR: "You will tell me what I want to know."
COREY: (glares, but does not speak)
The large man lifts his right leg, and throws a practice lash against the far wall with his left hand.
A blood-curdling scream is heard from an adjacent room.

INT: "You were not on the roster for the World Series. You pitched fewer than ten innings in the major leagues last season. Yet, you are on the roster now, and were selected to represent the team at Camp Zana. Why?"
COREY:"Bryan Scott Corey. Reliever. Number 30."
The interrogator pulls two earplugs from his pocket, and inserts one in each ear. He presses play on the stereo. Corey is assaulted by the ear-splitting chants of Hanshin Tigers supporters. He cannot cover his ears, as his hands are tied to the chair. He grimaces, and endures the chants for what seems like hours. Intermittent screams and howls of agony are heard from the adjacent room. The interrogator stops the tape, and removes his earplugs.

INT: "Tell me what I want to know. Or you will listen for TEN minutes."
COREY: (does not respond)
INT: "Kevin Cash had an OPS+ of 4 last season. Why is he on the number one team in your major leagues? Why was he brought to Japan? We have been watching him, just as we watched Moe Berg. He has learned nothing."
COREY: (smirks, but does not speak)
A maniacal laugh is heard from the adjacent cell, followed by the wailing of several roosters.

INT: "Very well. (motions towards adjacent cell) Mr. Tavarez will tell us what we want to know."
COREY: "If Tavarez hasn't broken yet, he'll never break."
INT: (smiles) "His interrogation has not yet begun. Mr. Tavarez still believes he is in his hotel room."
COREY: (stares in disbelief, as the interrogator stands to exit the room)

Suddenly, the door swings open, and a smoke bomb ignites. The smoke obscures the entrance of three ninjas, who make quick work of the interrogator, and the three guards. The ninjas are dressed in dark red camouflage, with Red Sox logos visible on their chests. (Available at www.mlb.com/shop/ninja.)
They remove their masks, revealing themselves as Catcher Kevin Cash, Hitting Coach Dave Magadan, and Pitching Coach John Farrell.

CASH: (unties Corey) "How are you, Bryan?"
COREY: "A lot better now." (nods to Magadan and Farrell) "I'm glad we got you guys that $40,000."
CASH:"Let's get out of here. We've got a game to play."
COREY: "What about Julian?"
FARRELL: "Leave him. This way, I don't have to tell him he's the eighth starter in our five-man rotation."

The Boycott

2008-03-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

(The following is an excerpt from "21st Century Global History." "21st Century Global History" was published on October 4th, 2058, and is suitable for Grades 5-8.)

While their exponential growth in popularity was a factor, it was their actions on March 19, 2008 that started the nation on the path to the prosperity we currently enjoy. "The Boycott" was a short-lived dispute over compensation for the Red Sox' coaching staff, which was quickly resolved in favor of the coaches. After this watershed event, the Red Sox began to realize the extent of the power they wielded.

Shortly after "The Boycott", the Red Sox journeyed to Tokyo to meet with the illustrious Japanese ambassador, Doraemon. Over a plate of dorayaki, Jason Varitek and Doraemon crafted "The 'Tek Precepts", the set of principles which have guided all diplomatic interactions for the last fifty years. The momentous meeting between the two was chronicled by author Curtis Schilling in his essay, "The Day Everything Changed." Schilling retired from baseball in May 2008, in order to concentrate on his literary and political careers.

President-Elect John McCain, aware of the Red Sox' increasing influence on the political landscape, chose Schilling as his running mate in the 2008 Presidential Election. The McCain-Schilling ticket, backed by the financial might of Red Sox supporters (See also, "Red Sox Nation."), won the election handily. Schilling was dispatched to The Middle East, where he negotiated a successful resolution to the "Oil War." (See also, "Iraqi Conflict", "War in Iraq.")

McCain and Schilling were elected to serve a second term in 2012, defeating the Democrats' Clinton/Romney ticket by a record margin. McCain and Schilling focused on domestic policy, until March of 2013, when they conceded all political power to Jason Varitek. After McCain's "Concession of Authority", the First Catcher oversaw the series of social and economic reforms that returned the country to its' current prominence.

While First Catcher Varitek guided the country to prosperity, a number of his former Red Sox teammates also played integral roles. Craig Breslow was instrumental in the eradication of global warming. Julian Tavarez and Manny Ramirez made considerable contributions to social policy. Dustin Pedroia...

("21st Century Global History" can be digitally acquired from Amazon.com, or directly from the publisher, Beckett Press.)

My Tryout with the Red Sox

2008-03-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

(The following post comes from a former minor league catcher who recently had a tryout with the Red Sox. He chooses to remain anonymous. Portions of the post have been edited for clarity.)

I was pretty surprised when Theo Epstein called me in for a tryout. I hadn't drawn interest from any of the other MLB teams after my midseason release last year, and Spring Training is nearly half over. My performance at the plate has been a bit disappointing the last few seasons, but I feel my defense has been markedly improved. I guess Theo must have seen something too, or else he wouldn't have called.

I sat on a bench in the middle of the Red Sox locker room, putting on my shin guards. I didn't recognize anyone, so I watched as the Sox players around me went about their morning routines. Kevin Youkilis sits with a laptop, checking stock prices. Mike Timlin cleans a large shotgun. Hideki Okajima and Daisuke Matsuzaka chat excitedly with one another, as Matsuzaka takes practice swings with a weighted bat. Coco Crisp sits in a corner, ferociously jabbing pins into a small Red Sox doll with the number "46" on it.

I hear a familiar voice call my name. A smiling Jacoby Ellsbury sidles up next to me. Jacoby is a former teammate. We shared many a minor league bus trip together, and I had hoped to run into him.

JE: "What are you doing here?"
Anonymous Catcher: "I've got a tryout today, and I'm just killin' time until then."
JE: "I sit here and just watch these guys all the time. It's part of learning to be a professional."

Closer Jonathan Papelbon saunters by, sporting a transparent Versace shirt. He is wearing batting gloves, and an ill-fitting fedora.

JE: "He wears that shirt every day now. He thinks it's lucky. He only came in 3rd place, so it can't be that lucky."

Josh Beckett slams a batting donut with a bat. The donut narrowly misses a bare-chested Dustin Pedroia. Beckett grimaces, and takes a swig of Slumpbuster. The diminutive second sacker dons a t-shirt immediately.

AC: "He probably could have just told Pedroia to put a shirt on.
JE: "Josh has been pretty moody lately. It might be because he drinks a case of that Slumpbuster stuff every day."

Clay Buchholz enters the room, to a round of applause. He grins, and takes a bow.

JE: "I don't know why he's so cocky. That no-hitter was a long time ago. Plus, he's still a rookie, too."
AC: "Wasn't he linked to some magazine centerfold, or something?"
JE: "Maybe. I don't pay attention to that stuff. I'm just here to play ball."

Suddenly, there is a loud commotion from in front of Doug Mirabelli's oversized locker. Manny Ramirez is emptying the contents of Mirabelli's locker into a pair of large cardboard boxes. It is apparent that he has little regard for the backup catcher's personal property. The animated outfielder motions to reliever Julian Tavarez, who attempts to remove Mirabelli's nameplate with his bare hands.

JE: "I don't even know what those guys are up to."

As Tavarez begins to try to remove the nameplate with his bat, I am called to the field. There are four other catchers trying out. As we walk towards the covered bullpen where the tryout will take place, we see Tim Wakefield taking cuts in a batting cage.

The tryout is rather quick. A RHP, who looks strangely like a 35 yr. old Phil Niekro, throws fifty knuckleballs to each catcher. Pitching coach John Farrell and a mustachioed man stand next to the mound. The pitcher is given instruction, by the mustachioed man, in a language I don't recognize.

After the last catcher has finished, we are gathered in front of Theo Epstein and statistician Bill James. Theo thanks us for our time, and indicates that he will "be in touch." One of the other catchers inquires as to why we didn't get a chance to bat during the tryout. Theo smiles knowingly at James. James is expressionless. Neither responds.

Before returning to the locker room, I stop to tie my spikes. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Craig Breslow approach Theo on the pitcher's mound. Breslow is wearing a white lab coat over his uniform.

TE: "He performed as needed. But I still don't understand why he only speaks Polish. The translator raises suspicions."
CB: "Well, I'm still working on the sequencing, but it seems that the pitching is more imp.."

Theo walks away mid-sentence. It is apparent that he has much to do...

Lugo's Former Parasite Responds

2008-03-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

(The following guest post was made in response to Boston Red Sox SS Julio Lugo's recent comments about one of the (alleged) reasons behind his poor season in 2007. The content does not necessarily represent the views of the blog owner(s).)

Initially, I would like to thank the owners of this blog for providing me with a forum to respond to the recent allegations. Before commenting on the aforementioned allegations, however, I would like to request that the word "parasite" be substituted with the more accurate phrase "performance-enhancing organism (PEO)." This terminology better describes the mutually beneficial relationship between the PEO and the host organism.

When Mr. Lugo first met with us in Glasgow, it quickly became apparent that he had done some research on performance-enhancers, and our effects. He knew exactly what he was looking for. Mere hours later, we had an agreement. He paid with a check written to "Cash" that he had won from a teammate in a poker game. The assimilation process was similarly quick, and I took up residence in his stomach. If Mr. Lugo disputes any of these facts, it is obvious that he is misremembering.

Now, you might ask, "How much of an effect can a PEO have from inside a mediocre SS's belly?" A valid question, especially considering that my formative years have been spent enhancing the performances of skiers and footballers. Not to mention the fact that I was attached to a minute section of Mr. Lugo's small intestine.

The greatest benefit is my ability to reduce my host's weight. With me feasting on his innards, Mr. Lugo was able to rid himself of some extra poundage, despite a diet consisting mostly of Ring Dings and Yuengling. He was quicker in the field, and on the basepaths. Though Mr. Lugo disputes this, his bat speed was also much improved. It was his own damn fault that he was always hacking away at bad pitches.

While I was, admittedly, compensated almost as well as Mr. Lugo was, it wasn't exactly an easy experience for me, either. It's hard to put into words what it was like to inhabit Mr. Lugo. But it's probably pretty similar to what it would be like to be Julian Tavarez' roommate. Scary stuff, indeed.

I guess I am just disappointed that Mr. Lugo and I didn't have a more successful season. Well, that, and the part where he ripped me in the press. But I wish nothing but the best for Mr. Lugo. Succeed, or fail, I'll be rooting for him. From my new home in Right Field.

America's Best Dance Crew

2008-03-03T20:06:00.000-08:00

(The following is an entry from Josh Beckett's personal journal, written on March 3, 2008.)

Sometimes, I'm so good at pitching that I scare myself. Today, I pitched in a "B" game against some random people wearing Twins uniforms, and just dominated them. I was trying some stuff out, and they still only got me for one unearned run in my three innings. (They wouldn't have even have had that run, if Casey had given me a decent throw in the 1st inning. He's no Youk, that's for damn sure.) Schnikes, I'm good. (I picked up "schnikes" from Wake, trying to cut down on the swearing.)

Still a little pissed that Lowell wouldn't let me in the Dance-off. The bastard didn't want to compete with me. I guess I don't blame him. But I got Lowell back when I let Paps wear my lucky Meringue outfit. Unfortunately, not everyone can pull off a lace Versace shirt and ripped, horse-shoed jeans the way I can. As for Pedroia's performance, schnikes! I really worry about that dude sometimes.

Well, that's all for now. Julian and Manny want me to go see "Juno" with them again. (Paps isn't coming this time. I don't want to have to explain everything to him again. Good closer, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.) It's a decent flick. I think Julian and Manny mostly just like it for the music, though. It's a little disturbing when they sing that song together in the dugout. But not as disturbing as a shirtless Pedroia. Schnikes.

Disclosure

2008-02-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 11/2/07)

(The following post is explicit in nature and may not be suitable for young readers. If you are fewer than 18 years of age, please click here.)

A frightening discovery was made today at stately BosInj manor. A horror even more disturbing than J.D. Drew's contract terms. While incorporating books from The Great Pile into the bookcases, a copy of CHB's 1996 book "At Fenway" was found on one of the lower shelves of a bookcase located in the East Wing.

BosInj would like to assure it's reader(s) that the presence of this book is not an implied endorsement of the author, or of the book's content. The fact that the book is autographed by CHB should not imply that BosInj purchased the book and/or asked it's author to sign it. The book was given as a gift, at no cost to this blogger. The approximate value of the book is not in excess of $25, so this possession is not in violation of the Uniform Gifts to Bloggers Act (UGBA).

BosInj regrets any appearance of impropriety, and will dispose of the book in a timely manner.
BosInj will conduct a thorough, and immediate, inventory of all current possessions to ensure that a similar situation does not arise in the future.

Schilling pitches

2008-02-18T20:15:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 11/1/07)

On the flight home from Colorado, the Red Sox players unwound in different ways. David Ortiz played cards. Kevin Youkilis napped on the floor. Coco Crisp spoke to Jacoby Ellsbury about the wonders of base jumping.

Curt Schilling was more productive, as he caught up on some of his correspondence. BosInj's Covert Surveillance operatives were able to obtain some of his messages.

Mark,
I have the real ball. Make me an offer.
Curt Schilling

Kyle,
Congratulations on your successful rookie season. It looks like we'll be teammates next season, and I was wondering if I could have #38. It would mean a lot to me. I believe #25 is currently available.

Thanks,
Curt Schilling

Javier,
Thank you for interest in employment opportunities at 38 Studios. At the present time, there are no open positions that are an appropriate fit for your particular skill set. We will retain your application for three months, and will be in contact with you should a suitable position become available. Good luck with your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Curt Schilling

Dan,
Bygones?

Curt

CHAMPIONS!

2008-02-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/30/07)

The ducks are probably the biggest winners here. The Red Sox winning the World Series is a Significant Triumph. Those Sox fans prescient enough to take advantage of The Monster Deal are enjoying their free furniture. (No free furniture here. Though there is a previously owned mattress up for grabs next to the dumpster out back.) But, after 4402 of their brethren met their doom at the killing hand of a young closer last winter, the ducks can breathe a little easier this time around. While they still have to be wary of the Peregrine Falcon and the Timlin, Jonathan Robert Papelbon will be a bit too busy for duck hunting this offseason.

Papelbon followed up a postseason of scoreless pitching by dancing through the streets of Boston. 'Twas a beautiful thing. The Winter of Papelbon has just begun, however. Next, he'll be jigging his way through the late night TV circuit. There will be the Guitar Hero endorsements. Papelbon at The White House. The Dancing with the Stars appearance with his ultra-talented dance partner, Amalie Benjamin. The series of children's books. (Think Berenstain Bears meets Harry Potter.) No more shilling Barber Chicken for the inimitable Sox closer. He's hit the big time now!

The rest of the 2007 World Champion Red Sox should be be back, and even better, next season. Curt Schilling will probably be my 2nd favorite Phillies blogger (#1), but both Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz are more than serviceable rotation options. Eric Gagne will be "pitching" in the National League, and Royce Clayton will be a Management Trainee at the Taco Bell on Comm. Ave., but they were forgotten Red Sox long before today. Josh Beckett will be pursuing his second consecutive Cy Young Award, with a fully-acclimated Daisuke Matsuzaka as his main competition. There's no way Mike Lowell and Tim Wakefield play for another team next season. Papi and Manny will be back, Manny armed with a prototype batting helmet that can be remotely ejected by Batshit Tavarez. Pedroia. Edes. Youkilis. Benjamin. Ellsbury. The 2007 season has just ended, but I can't wait to see this team next season. Though they will have a lot more difficulty in the 2008 World Series with the Phillies, than they did with the Rockies.

As a Rule 5 blogger, I anticipate spending the first few months of next season posting for the Pawtucket Red Sox. But a midseason callup is not out of the question. When the Red Sox need a northpaw reliever in the playoffs, I'll be ready to put down my drumsticks and set up for Papelbon. When an HBP is needed to win free tacos for all, I'm your guy. I just hope that the internet connectivity issues that have plagued me this past week don't resurface during next season's Red Sox-Phillies Fall Classic. That matchup will require some prolific blogging in these parts. Plus, without internet, I can't instantaneously determine whether the actor in the movie I'm watching was also the roadie in "Rock Star." Who wants to live like that?

The Sox won't play another game for more than four months, but there are many significant personnel decisions to be made in that time. Papelbon will be omnipresent during the offseason, and the Ellsbury Taco Bell commercials will be as ubiquitous as those damn W.B. Mason ads. If you thought Ellsbury was a great ballplayer, wait until you see him in those Taco Bell ads, co-starring with the Official Scorer who didn't rule "defensive indifference." It will be no time at all before the Sox equipment crew is loading up The Truck, and Julian Tavarez is letting the press know when Manny Ramirez will be reporting to Spring Training.

SOXtober dream almost realized

2008-02-18T20:11:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/23/07)

"Hold on. I've got somethin' for ya, kid." Jonathan Papelbon had just pitched two scoreless innings to save Game 7, and was wrapping up yet another memorable interview. The Cleveland Indians had been defeated in Game 7, and exiled to their City of Midges and Discarded Rally Towels. (Apparently, Tribe Time is Not Now.)

Jonathan Robert was just getting started. He brought the same determination with which he closed out the game back to the field- for the Game 7 postgame celebration/dance-a-thon! With two playoff series wins under his belt, his Irish jig skills are becoming highly developed. Transformers. A Series win could give the inimitable closer the exposure necessary to take his already considerable dancing abilities to the next level.

Down three games to one in a seven game series, the pundits didn't seem to think much of the Red Sox' chances. Baseball Factory was analyzing the potential late-innings matchup between Indians reliever Rafael Betancourt and Rockies pinch-hitter Seth Smith. Hardball Prospectus was advocating using Ryan Garko in right field, so that Pronk could play first base in the Fall Classic games played in Colorado. Baseball Guru Tim McCarver believed that the only way Boston could win the series against Cleveland would be for the Red Sox to win four games before the Indians did. Transformers. Red Sox fans weren't concerned, however. We know how the story of the 2007 Red Sox will end. With a Papelbon-Beckett Dance-Off, Duck Boats, and free couches for all!

The Sox Heroes were many. Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis blasted homers, triggering appearances by The Blond Cameraperson. (Almost as good as Bernie Brewer in Milwaukee. Almost.) J.D. Drew had a HUGE grand slam, which will, hopefully, enhance his offseason trade value. Julio Lugo worked Cleveland pitching for more than two pitches/at bat, helping sap their strength. Curt Schilling and Daisuke Matsuzaka, after lackluster first starts, pitched well in the elimination games. Transformers. Kyle Snyder was an imposing deterrent when the benches cleared. Eric Serge Gagne managed to only blow a single game. Josh Beckett was Koufaxian, as he joined the former Dodgers southpaw in the Hall of Playoff Greatness. (Conveniently located in Coopertown.) While Koufax's postseason ERA of 0.95 is (currently) lower than Beckett's, no one can match Beckett's interview performances. He is an immensely talented wordsmith, with an incomparable dexterity with metaphors. A post-baseball career as a diplomat seems to be in the cards for Beckett. Unless he throws us a curve and goes into politics.

Terry Francona also did a terrific job. While he probably should have replaced Coco Crisp with Jacoby Ellsbury a little sooner (In May, perhaps?), his decision to pitch Beckett on full rest in Game 5, rather than on short rest in Game 4, was key to the Red Sox' success. The decision looks even better now, with Beckett ready to start Game 1 of the World Series. I thought Beckett should have gone on short rest in Game 4, so he could return for a Game 7. I'm glad Francona disagreed with me, and ignored all those e-mails. I hope we can still be pals, Terry. Also, please stop blocking my e-mails- I need to tell you about my Mike Lowell at SS idea.

Unfortunately, the FOX television crew did not do a terrific job. Which was about as surprising as Kevin Cash being left off the ALCS roster. Buck and McCarver- can't believe we have another four games left with them. Yikes. The attempts at subliminal advertising could also have been bothersome- if I wasn't immune to such tactics, as a result of my superior intellect. The late start times are the worst, however. After the game, and all available postgame shows/interviews have run their course, I only have a few hours to sleep before my 5am wakeup call. (Did anyone else sign up for those daily wakeup calls from Julian Tavarez? I can't believe how cheap they were!) This leaves no time for postgame blogging. By the time I escape my employment responsibilities the next night, it's time for another pre-game show/game. (Well, sometimes I become ensnared by NHL Center Ice. I guess it's not all FOX's fault.)

Beckett goes against Francis in Game 1 Wednesday night at Fenway. The Rockies shouldn't be a problem for The Wordsmith. Transformers. Jacoby Ellsbury will be starting in center, and Kyle Snyder is available if the Rockies try to send a physical message by sending enforcer Ryan Spilborghs into the game. The Rockies may have won 21 of 22, but they are due for a few losses. (Binomial Theorem, people!) In less than a week, the Red Sox will be Champions. All I ask of you is Believe. And get those duck boats ready.

Keep your head on a swivel

2008-02-18T20:07:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/17/07)

Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast. On Friday night, the Red Sox were ahead of the Indians one game to none, and were about to win another epic playoff battle. Then Eric Serge Gagne entered the game, got pulled after giving up two baserunners, and his replacements combined to allow seven runs. If Gagne had been permitted to finish the inning, he probably would have only surrendered five or six runs. Bad move, Terry.

After losing Game 3 to Jake Westbrook, thanks, in part, to another desultory performance by Daisuke Matsuzaka, Tim Wakefield was given the start in Game 4. It seemed like Josh Beckett should have been given the ball instead, on three days rest, so he would have two more starts in the series (including Game 7). Especially considering that he is the only reliable starting pitcher that the Sox have right now. But Francona chose to go with Wakefield, who hadn't pitched for seventeen days. Perhaps Wakefield "deserved" the start. Perhaps Beckett is drained from his 215 IP this season, and needed the extra days off. I spent most of the day arguing the merits of Beckett on three days rest to anyone who would listen, and explaining Francona's "sit on my hands" reference to Wakefield's volatility. I just had a bad feeling about Wakefield tonight.

After four innings, I was thrilled to have been totally wrong about Wakefield. Four shutout innings, one hit allowed? Wakefield was ON. At least until the fifth inning. That was a painful mess, in which Wakefield and the Sox bullpen bled out seven runs. Conventional wisdom would imply that permitting seven runs in one inning is less damaging than permitting one run in each of two different innings. But this season that hasn't been the case. Teams scoring seven runs or more in an inning have beaten teams scoring less than seven runs in a game on a regular basis this season. Very surprising, indeed.

The Red Sox countered with three consecutive home runs, the first two off Cleveland starter Paul Byrd, who had another "scintillating" five inning, 3.60 ERA outing. Manny Ramirez hit the third of the blasts, off Cleveland reliever Jensen Lewis, and stood at the plate admiring the ball's flight for quite awhile. (Um, Manny? You're losing 7-3. Get back in the dugout.) The Indians bullpen shut out the Sox the rest of the way, and Boston now must win the next three games, or start their offseason.

Conventional wisdom would state that whenever Tim McCarver prefaces a statement with the words "conventional wisdom", you are about to hear some idiotic nonsense that may cause internal bleeding. The best play that you, as a viewer, can make is to hit the mute button in a timely manner. Unfortunately, I was caught out of position tonight, when McCarver uttered the magic words. He mentioned (again) that a leadoff walk is preferable to a leadoff home run, as the walk has a better chance of triggering a multiple-run inning. (Yes, a baserunner is better than an actual run.) It got even better when he indicated that "this season" the opposite was true. Scoring a run has been better than getting a baserunner this season, for the first time in the history of baseball. Crazy, that. No wonder the Red Sox are losing to the Indians, the games are being played in Bizarro World. (That would also explain "Justin" Pedroia's sudden inability to get hits.)

While trailing 3-1 in games is certainly distressing, this series is not over yet. Beckett could easily outduel Sabathia. Schilling will oppose Carmona and, despite not being on eleven days rest, he could come up with a good outing. Unfortunately, in the winner-take-all Game 7, Matsuzaka (or Lester?) would get the start for the Sox. That would not be good. Of course, if the Sox don't get some production from the invisible 55.6% of their lineup, and some outings by their starting pitcher in excess of four and two/thirds innings, the season will be a memory before we see a seventh game.

Sox walk-off to 2-0 ALDS lead

2008-02-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/6/07)

Julio Lugo lead off the 9th inning with a base hit off Angels reliever Justin Speier. With the score tied at 3, Lugo moved to second on a fielder's choice. This left first base open, and Angels Manager Mike Scioscia with the choice of having his ace closer, Francisco Rodriguez, face either David Ortiz or Manny Ramirez with the game on the line. He chose to walk Ortiz, and pitch to Ramirez. As a Sox fan, I think he made the right decision.

Ramirez DEMOLISHED a Rodriguez offering, sending the ball to Commonwealth Avenue, where it put a dent in a B Line train. Manny stood at the plate a moment to admire his work, raising his arms in jubilation, then proceeded around the bases. The Sox players stormed the field to celebrate. Again. It seems they get to do quite a bit of celebrating these days. Manny didn't have much time for celebration, however, as he had to put on a suit as comfortable as his baggy uniform, and report for media availability. His first walkoff homer as a Red Sox was, apparently, reason enough for the slugger to break his media silence.

The Sox would have lost the game in the middle innings, if their bullpen hadn't risen to the occasion. Starter Daisuke Matsuzaka was mediocre, allowing three runs in his four and two-thirds innings of work. He permitted seven hits and three walks. The bullpen SHUT OUT the Angels the rest of the way, on ZERO (0!) hits. Delcarmen, Okajima, Gagne, and Papelbon were BRILLIANT. (OK, Gagne didn't actually pitch. But he would have been unhittable if he had.)
Papelbon got the last four outs, and the victory. The Angels are at the brink of elimination.

Curt Schilling gets the start for the Sox on Sunday afternoon. He is opposed by Jered Weaver, and whomever else the Angels throw out there to try stave off elimination. But, by 6:30pm Eastern time tomorrow, the Sox will have sent Los Angeles into the offseason. Schilling does not lose postseason games. Except when he has to face the Phillies.

It's Tribe Time (for now)!

2008-02-18T20:03:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/6/07)

Jabba covered in bugs. Jeter confounded by the Canadian soldiers, trying to whomp them with his glove from his defensive position. Rodriguez not whomping any opposing pitching. Abreu's bat spontaneously combusting at home plate. Torre performing intermittent maintenance on his ear canal. An extra-inning walk-off victory by Pronk and the Cleveland Indians over the New York Yankees. Exactly what you'd like to see in a Yankees'playoff game. (Except maybe the Torre part.)

But, as a Red Sox fan, it might actually be time to root for the Yankees. At least for a couple of games. If New York can extend the series to five games, the Indians will need to use Sabathia again. They may even use Carmona again. I'm sure the Red Sox would much rather see Paul Byrd on the mound in Game 1 of the ALCS, than one of the Indians' Cy Young candidates. If the Yankees can drain some of those Indians relievers a bit, in some more long, extra-innings battles, that would be even better.

Shit. What was I thinking there? I can't root for the Yankees. Not even for a single game. The Red Sox can decimate either of those two teams, anyways. Forget Sabathia and Carmona, the Indians could start an in-his-prime Feller, and still not beat the Sox. It's Tribe Time Now! (But only until the ALCS against the Red Sox starts.)

Red Sox Elevate for Postseason

2008-02-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 10/4/07)

Did you even think it was possible that Red Sox ace Josh Beckett might give up a run on Wednesday night? No, me neither. Beckett is The Master of the Postseason. The two consecutive playoff shutouts is just the beginning.

Beckett wasn't the only one to raise his game on Wednesday. There were home runs from Ortiz and Youkilis providing the scoring. My cable company came up big, adding TBS HD in time for the MLB playoffs, as well as NHL Center Ice and Versus HD. Well played, RCN! Every bit as impressive as Beckett's performance was that of Boston Globe writer Amalie Benjamin, who excelled in the pregame and postgame shows, and had a perfect blogger rating of 187.6 in the Extra Bases Blog. She became the first blogger in postseason history to pass the 180 barrier.

However, in the presence of such greatness, mediocrity becomes so much more glaring. TBS has a ways to go before they can even claim mediocrity. We're only six games into the playoffs, and TBS is already driving me crazy. In fact, a bulleted list is necessary to review TBS' crimes against baseball fans, and humanity.

FrankTV. It is really necessary to have a FrankTV commercial between every half-inning? That guy is driving me crazy. The probability that I will watch his show is indirectly proportional to the number of promos I must endure. I think I would prefer to watch an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon (in HD!) at this point. I try to escape Frank by changing channels during commercials, but it is to no avail. When I toggle back, he is there. Always. There.
Commercials. I appreciate the fact that TBS wants to jam as many commercials as possible in between innings, but they really need to get back to the action when pitches start getting thrown. There will be time for more FrankTV and Mellencamp commercials later.
Crowd noise. What the shithell's going on here? The crowds at Fenway and CBP are crazy, loud, batshit insane. Yet it doesn't seem that way on the TBS broadcast. Not even close.

The Red Sox and Benjamin will continue to elevate their games on Friday night. Matsuzaka v. Escobar. Matsuzaka has never lost an MLB playoff game. He won't lose one tonight, either. The Red Sox won't face a team playing at their level, until they face Philly in the Series. By that time, we'll be done with TBS, and watching the games on FOX. I never thought I'd be looking forward to FOX baseball broadcasts. Anything that allows baseball fans to escape the clutches of FrankTV is a positive.

Just the beginning

2008-02-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/29/07)

This celebration was a little less restrained than the last one.

Daisuke Matsuzaka was outstanding, allowing only two runs in eight innings. Jonathan Papelbon retired the side in the ninth on only six pitches, for his 37th save. David Ortiz continued his hot streak, going 3 for 4, with his 35th home run. Daniel Malloy was flawless on the Extra Bases Blog. Just about everything went right for the Sox, in their 5-2 win over the visiting Minnesota Twins. Then, things got even better.

The Sox players, and reporters, retreated to the Sox clubhouse to watch the end of the Yankees-Orioles game. A Yankees loss would clinch the AL East for the Red Sox. But, with a 9-6 lead in the 9th inning, and Mariano Rivera in for the save, it looked like the Sox would have to wait another day to clinch the division. As the thousands of fans remaining in Fenway Park watched on the big screen, and Amalie Benjamin attempted to peer around a gajillion Japanese reporters to see the screens in the Sox clubhouse, the Orioles staged an unlikely game-tying rally. After dodging a bullet in the top of the 10th, with Tom Caron and Dennis Eckersley reporting on every batter, the Orioles sent former Sox hero Kevin Millar to the plate with the opportunity to give the Red Sox the AL East. And Millar... struck out. Then Melvin Mora shocked the world with a two-out, game-winning bunt. Cue: Pandemonium!

NESN really should have assigned a camera to follow Papelbon around during the celebration. (Well, at least his celebrations after he covered up his Papelbutt.) The uninhibited closer was spotted running around the field, dancing on the pitcher's mound, wearing an empty Bud Light box, and various other shenanigans. Alex Cora was DJ'ing, as Mike Lowell ran around the perimeter of field, spraying fans with champagne. Mike Timlin and Curt Schilling were on top of the dugout, communing with Red Sox Nation. Tina Cervasio and Kathryn Tappen were drenched in a delightful combination of champagne and Bud Light, as they interviewed everyone in sight. Terry Francona was hugging players, and Mike Timlin pecked Jason Varitek on the cheek, as Varitek was interviewed on NESN. The focused Captain seemed unmoved by Timlin's tender gesture, probably because his thoughts are already on Vladimir Guerrero and the Angels. Conspicuously absent from the interviewees was AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett, but I am fairly certain that I heard him yell, "We did it, motherfuckers!" a few times in the background. It was awesome that the fans were allowed to stay in the ballpark and watch the last hour or so of the Orioles win, and then celebrate with the Sox players. Hopefully, they'll be celebrating the AL pennant that way in early Soxtober.

Sox clinch playoff berth

2008-02-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/25/07)

Terry Francona raised his glass and shared a calm, dignified toast with his ballclub behind closed doors in Tampa. The Red Sox had become the first MLB team to officially qualify for the postseason on Saturday night, with an 8-6 comeback victory against the Devil Rays. But this was just the first step on the path to AL supremacy.

The Sox trailed 6-5, as the game entered the 9th. The Rays had their closer, Al Reyes in to close out a Tampa win. It looked like the Sox' Magic Number would remain at 1. But Captain Jason Varitek had other ideas. He led off the inning by hitting a game-tying home run, his fifteen of the season. With one out, Eric Hinske doubled, and Julio Lugo followed with a two-run homer, his eighth of the season. Jonathan Papelbon retired the side in order in the bottom of the ninth for his 36th save, and the Sox had an 8-6 win, and a spot in the playoffs. J.D. Drew (2 for 4, 10th homer, 3 RBI) and Eric Gagne (scoreless 8th, 2 K, 4th win) also contributed to the cause. If Drew and Gagne can produce like that in the playoffs, and Ramirez, Youkilis, and Benjamin (all unavailable for the Tampa series) do what they are capable of, the Sox shouldn't have a problem winning the division. And the pennant.

With the Yankees' loss on Monday to the Blue Jays (Thank you, Jesse Litsch!), the Sox are now two games ahead of the Yankees, with six to play. However, the Sox will need to finish with a better record than New York to win the division, as the Yankees won the tiebreaker. (I still think the Sox should have recalled Craig Breslow to compete in the tiebreaker-deciding Scrabble match against the Yankees' Mike Mussina, but Terry and Theo were confident in the abilities of closer Jonathan Papelbon in that discipline.) Boston has a two game series with Oakland, followed by a four game set with Minnesota. If the Sox can take four of the six games, at home, against two teams that are already eliminated from playoff consideration, their next toast will be made as Division Champions.

Gagne Dominates

2008-02-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/21/07)

Finally, we have a Red Sox win. It was only a four game losing streak, but it seemed much, much longer. Josh Beckett struggled a bit in the 1st inning, but escaped with only one run allowed. That was the only run he permitted in the six inning, nine strikeout performance that earned him his 20th win. With a 20-6 record, and a 3.14 ERA, he is certainly a frontrunner for the AL Cy Young Award.

The Sox' offense scored eight runs, but five of the eight came in the last two innings against a reliever with a 5.18 ERA, one with an 8.34 ERA, and one with an ERA of infinity. The first three runs, off Rays ace Scott Kazmir, were assisted by two Rays errors. The Sox struck out seventeen (17!) times in the game, and left ten runners on base. Lineups that feature Bobby Kielty batting fifth, Eric Hinske batting ninth, and Julio Lugo batting anywhere tend to do these things. Hopefully, we won't see too much of Kielty and Hinske in the playoffs.

Eric Gagne pitched a scoreless ninth, retiring the side in order on twelve pitches (nine strikes). Gagne stuck out two of the three batters he faced, and displayed a nasty change-up. He is definitely ready for the 8th inning role in the playoffs now.

Jacoby Ellsbury made the defensive play of the game in left field, with a sliding catch in the Red Sox bullpen. The bullpens in Tampa are conveniently located ON THE FIELD (in foul territory), and Ellsbury was fortunate not to injure himself on any chairs, pirate gear, or relief pitchers. It would have been helpful if the Sox relievers had moved the chairs and/or the treasure chest out of Ellsbury's path. It is quite possible than Manny Ramirez does not make that play. Unless, of course, Manny was positioned in one of the chairs, which would also be quite possible.

The Yankees lost a five hour, fourteen inning game to the Blue Jays, so the Sox' division lead is back up to 2.5 games. Special thanks to Jays catcher Gregg Zaun for hitting the game-winning homer, and to Yankees reliever Brian Bruney (1:1 BB/K ratio) for sucking. The Sox should have their playoff spot clinched by the end of the weekend, if not on Saturday. The division clinching probably won't happen until the middle of next week. By this time next week, the Sox will be preparing to face Escobar, Lackey, and the Anaheim Angels.

Sox resting up for playoffs

2008-02-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/20/07)

Eric Serge Gagne retired the first two Blue Jay batters in the 8th inning with little difficulty. This was why the Red Sox had acquired him- to protect one-run leads, and setup saves for Jonathan Robert Papelbon. After walking slugger Frank Thomas, it all fell apart. A single, two more walks, and a two-run double followed, and Gagne had cost the Sox yet another victory.

Clay Buchholz fielded the ball, but didn't appear to have a play at any base. However, he decided to make a hurried backhand throw towards third base. The throw went into left field, allowing another run to score. Only a successful Lowell Ball Trick prevented further damage in the frame.

With the tying run on second, and two outs, Julio Lugo got jammed, and fisted the ball towards short. Thinking the Jays' shortstop would make the inning-ending force at second, Lugo failed to run the ball out all the way. The play was made to first, and Lugo was called out on a close play.

What did these plays have in common? They resulted in ferocious streams of expletives from this replacement-level blogger, profanity the likes of which Somerville has rarely seen. But the frustration wasn't simply a result of the game-altering plays.

I thought, and still do think, that the right move was made in bringing in Gagne. That was the situation that Gagne was acquired to handle. That's the situation the Sox need him to succeed in. It didn't work out on Tuesday night, but with a more competent home plate ump than Ed Rapuano, or if J. D. Drew catches that double (which I thought he should have had a play on), we'd be saluting Gagne's performance today. The difference between success and failure is sometimes as thin as the edge of the razor that shorn Gagne's once-unruly hair. But he's going to need more chances to pitch, in order to get the inside of his head under control. A confident Gagne might be the difference between a Sox loss to the Phillies in the World Series and an Angels loss to the Phillies in the World Series.

I'm not too concerned about Clay Buchholz making a rookie error occasionally. But I am concerned about Terry Francona and Theo Epstein making a major error in the deployment of one of their hottest pitchers. If Buchholz has a "hard cap of 155 innings" this season, a number that is rapidly approaching, why did Buchholz get the start on Wednesday night in Toronto? Shouldn't they be saving every possible Buchholz inning for when the would matter the most, in the playoffs? Why not have Batshit or Hansack start the Jays game, and use Buchholz sparingly during the remainder of the regular season? Buchholz is pitching extremely well, at a time when many of the Sox' pitchers are struggling, and he could be a force in the playoffs. Especially when you consider the fact that many of the Sox' likely playoff opponents (Yankees, Indians, Phillies) have never faced the young right-hander. I just hope Buchholz is on the playoff roster, and we don't see him pitch too many more innings before the playoffs start.
Because giving that start to Buchholz might be an indication that the Sox don't plan to include him on the postseason roster.

Julio Lugo? Well, he pretty much pisses me off every time he is in the lineup. (Or in the dugout, or on the roster, or walking around Boston wearing that goddamn pink tie.) The Sox are stuck with him as their starting SS for the rest of the season, so it's best to try to ignore him whenever possible. It is much easier to ignore him when Francona doesn't put his sub-.300 OBP anywhere near the top of the batting order. Hopefully, Theo can make Lugo go away in the offseason.

Right now, the only everyday players who are consistently producing are Gordon Edes and Amalie Benjamin. Without them, the Yankees AND the Tigers would have passed Boston by now. The Sox really need to get Ramirez, Youkilis, and Crisp back into the lineup for the playoffs. But, as for making the playoffs, that is pretty much a done deal. The Sox have a 99.98338% chance of making the postseason, as calculated by Baseball Prospectus. (Which, incidentally, is the same probability that the Papelbon-Beckett team will beat the Zumaya-Verlander team, in the event a NES Duck Hunt Wild Card Tiebreaker is necessary. I bet that dog makes Beckett go batshit!)

The Sox have the day off, as they travel to Tampa to face the Devil Rays. Go ahead and kick back tonight with the latest issue of Sports Weekly, the new Mind's Eye CD on the stereo, and some laid-back, relaxing National League action on the HD TV. Whether the Sox clinch a playoff berth on the field, or in Bud Selig's rec room, it's just a matter of time.

Papelbon's cell phone found

2008-02-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/17/07)

That was a draining series. For Red Sox players, Red Sox fans, and anyone having to endure the FOX and ESPN broadcasts on consecutive days. (Three hours of Joe Morgan really takes its toll.) On Friday night, the Phillies-Mets and Red Sox-Yankees started their respective battles at the same time. While the Phillies celebrated their ten-inning victory, the Sox and Yanks were still at it. IN THE TOP OF THE SIXTH INNING! The laws of space, time, and baseball don't necessarily apply when the Sox take on the Yanks. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

The Sox only managed to win the second of the three games, though they were only a bullpen meltdown and a little Papi Walk-Off Magic away from a series sweep. But, with the one win, the Sox go into the season's final twelve games with a four and a half game lead over second place New York. Baseball Prospectus gives the Sox a 107.2% chance of making the playoffs, and a 102.3% chance of winning the division. Despite the two losses, things are still looking pretty damn good for Boston.

With the playoffs in mind, the Sox have started to get their playoff rotation in order. Daisuke Matsuzaka will make his next start on Saturday, instead of on his regular fifth day (Wednesday), to slot him in behind 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett. A week ago, I would have questioned that move. But, ever since Matsuzaka was ignominiously released from my eighth-place fantasy baseball team, he has been taking measures to return to his strong early-season form. It's possible that being released, and replaced by the esteemed Yovanni Gallardo, was the wake-up call the Japanese right-hander needed. He now seems more comfortable using all of his pitches, and more comfortable just being himself. After 150 games with the team, he's now relaxed enough to dress the way he used to dress in his days with the Seibu Lions. He's no longer concerned about being as well-dressed as a David Ortiz, or a Manny Delcarmen. He's going to throw quality inning-after-inning the rest of the season, and he's going to dress like Dipsy the Teletubbie when he's not throwing those quality innings. Matsuzaka has found his comfort zone, and the Red Sox will be a better team for it.

Jonathan Robert Papelbon probably hasn't ever had too much difficulty finding his comfort zone. In the eighth inning of Friday night's game, however, he seemed a bit out of sorts. Giving up hits? AND runs? Not very Papelbonian behavior. But, the next day, he indicated that his poor performance was a result of a "mental concern that only happens a few times a year." With his third loss, he is now officially done with this concern for the 2007 season. So, instead of a mere 99.6% chance that he'll convert a save opportunity, that percentage is now an even 100. In other Papelbon news, the invincible closer's missing cellphone was found in the back of a Boston cab. The cab driver who discovered it indicated that it "belonged to a Sox player with a long "P" name." Which raises an obvious question. How could this cabbie not know the name "Papelbon?" Unacceptable. Perhaps he should be sentenced to drive his cab in the Bronx?

The Sox travel to Toronto to face the Blue Jays tonight. The Sox have won 81 of the 110 games between the two clubs this season. Tim Wakefield goes to the mound, as he prepares to be the fourth starter in the playoff rotation. The Boston Globe is also getting their playoff rotation in order, with the Big Three of Edes, Benjamin, and Malloy primed and ready for a long playoff run. With Globe's Big Three and the Sox' Big Four in top form, Boston shouldn't have too much trouble in the postseason. At least until their inevitable World Series encounter with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Papi Walks Off

2008-02-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/13/07)

If there's one thing the Red Sox have showed us over the last couple of weeks, it's the ability to overcome adversity. By "adversity", I obviously mean "piss-poor starting pitching." Additionally, with Manny Ramirez (annual September vacation), Amalie Benjamin (giving lecture at M.I.T.), and Mike Lowell (intestinal turmoil) all out of the lineup, the Sox had to show some real, um, intestinal fortitude tonight. Especially after Jon Lester dug a Matsuzaka-sized hole in the first inning.

Lester, who had allowed only two runs in his last thirteen innings of work (2 starts, 2 wins), continued the latest Sox tradition- starters being unable to pitch more than four innings. He survived only 3.2 innings, allowing four runs, on eight (!) hits, and four (!) walks. (His outing tonight was obviously part of the plan to fool teams scouting the Sox into thinking he is not good at baseball.) His line could have been worse, but Batshit Crazy stranded the two runners Lester put on in the 4th. The Sox bullpen, as usual, was extremely effective. Five and a third innings, one (!) hit allowed, no runs. Three of those scoreless innings were a Batshit Crazy Production. David Ortiz brought the Sox to within 4-3, with a three-run blast (30th) in the 3rd inning. But the Devil Rays shitacular bullpen managed to shut down the Sox bats, and the score remained 4-3 into the ninth inning.

Jonathan Robert Papelbon (1.52 ERA) pitched the top of the 9th, keeping the Sox deficit at a single run. Al Reyes came on for Tampa in the bottom of the frame with 24 saves in 26 save opportunities. When he was done for the night, he had 24 saves in 27 opportunities. With one on, and one out, the "greatest clutch hitter in history" came to the plate. There was no dispute about David Ortiz' clutch hitting ability tonight. His long fly to right field landed in the first row (31st homer), and the Sox had another incredible walk-off victory. Ortiz was enveloped at home plate by his teammates, with winning pitcher/Jedi Knight J. R. Papelbon leading the way. Papelbon's awestruck expression as the ball left the park, and his reaction (hoisting himself onto the field, with an assist from Coco Crisp), was caught by the NESN cameras. Nicely done, NESN. (Though they should probably have a camera on JP at all times, with JP's antics displayed continuously in the corner of the screen. But that's an argument for another blog post.)

The Sox will ride the momentum of another awe-inspiring win into their series with New York, after Thursday's off day. Hopefully, the Sox will have Benjamin and Lowell back for the series that could knock the Yanks back in the Wild Card race, and the Tigers back in. Unfortunately, the second game is on FOX, and the Sunday night finale is on ESPN, DURING THE PATS-CHARGERS GAME! (Shithell. Why do the schedulemakers do this to me?!) Anyways, I'll be watching the Sox Sunday night, as they go for a three-game sweep over the Yankees. (Hopefully.)

Sox 16, Rays 10

2008-02-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/12/07)

Ingenious. Tuesday night's 16-10 win over Tampa Bay went exactly according to a brilliant plan. Tim Wakefield used tremendous cunning to allow ten hits and seven runs in three innings. In his last two starts, Wakefield has pitched only 6.2 innings. He has allowed 19 hits and 13 runs in those two starts. In each start, he managed to avoid taxing himself too much, and he fooled the opposition into becoming complacent. The complacent opponents fell prey to the Red Sox offense both times, and potential playoff opponents have been fooled into thinking that Wakefield is not in top form. Those foolish enough to understimate Messrs. Wakefield and Matsuzaka will pay the price in the postseason.

With the Red Sox trailing 8-1, as play entered the bottom of the 4th, it was pretty obvious the Sox would come back. It was just a matter of how badly the Sox wanted to pummel the Rays. Apparently, they wanted to do quite a bit of pummeling. They outscored the Rays 15-2 the rest of the way. The Sox went an amazing 20 for 40 in the game, numbers that are rarely seen outside of Philadelphia. (Note: This statement is a reference to the vaunted Philadelphia Phillies offense, NOT the horrific Phillies pitching and/or their bandbox ballpark.) The Sox connected on four home runs, and eight of the nine starters had at least two hits. (Only catcher Kevin Cash, who belongs in AA, had less than two hits. But his 1 for 4 effort did increase his season average to from an unsightly .100 to a somewhat less unsightly .125. He is 3 for 24, with one extra-base hit, a double.)

It was a remarkable offensive explosion from a team that had been shut out on five hits the previous day. I totally saw it coming. I may have been reading The Hockey News as they began their inevitable comeback, but that was just a sign that I wasn't concerned about the deficit. AT ALL. If teams continue to underestimate the Sox, thinking a seven-run lead is sufficient, or that Wakefield and/or Cash are not good at baseball, those teams will continue to lose. Terry Francona and John Farrell know what they are doing...

Jon Lester goes for the Sox tonight, as they try to win the three-game series from Tampa. I expect another come-from-behind victory that will put the Sox' Baseball Prospectus odds of making the playoffs at over 110%. If we're lucky, we may even see Gagne and Papelbon close out the victory.

Sox continue quest for World Domination

2008-02-18T19:45:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 9/10/07)

The Red Sox are HOT! How hot? Well, every bit as hot as the Three Musketeers Mint Fairy. With another series win in Baltimore the Sox have now lost about three of their previous forty-seven (or so) games. Jonathan Papelbon, currently averaging 1.2 pitches per strikeout, appeared in forty-three of those games, recording thirty-five saves. He has only allowed one hit during the lifetime of starting RF Jacoby Ellsbury. Josh Beckett now has eighteen wins, in what should certainly be a Cy Young season (not bad for a "Texas redneck"-Jonathan Robert's word choice), and rookie Clay Buchholz pitched a no-hitter in his 2nd career start. Yes, the Sox' (sixth? seventh?) starter pitched a no-hitter. Looking at the Sox' current 40-Man Roster, 86.8% of the team players currently receive a "kick-ass motherfucker" rating, or higher. It's simple to quantify the level hotness of the Sox. (See "Fairy, Three Musketeers Mint." See also "Mitts, Heather.") Determining how they managed to win so many games, seeing as how even the best teams in MLB history lose about 40% of the time, is a little more difficult.

In Probability, you can sometimes simplify matters by determining the probability of a complement event, rather than directly computing the probability of the event itself. (If you don't believe me, ask Craig Breslow.) So, when the Sox actually lose games, why do they lose them?

J.D. Drew. Since the All-star break, he has a .248 batting average, one home run, and a .708 OPS. Plus, after he screwed the Phillies when they drafted him, it was mathematically determined that he has no soul. His performance with the Sox has validated that conclusion.
Julian Tavarez. Yes, he needs just "two hours notice and a Red Bull" when asked to be an emergency starter. But one of those guys walking on stilts outside Fenway could produce similar results. Possibly without even requiring the Red Bull. Batshit has a 5.35 ERA since the All-Star break. He had a prime opportunity to bonk Daniel Cabrera on the head the other night with a Red Bull (or any other implement he had concealed on his person), but failed to convert. The Sox have better options for BC's innings.
NESN/The Boston Globe. NESN's over-reliance on W.B Mason commercials and non-Eck pre-game analysts, in combination with the numerous errors scrolling across the bottom of the screen on "The Edge" (spelling "Buchholz" with two "c's" on the night of the no-hitter? Unconscionable.), doesn't help. Don't even get me started on the horrors of "Sox Appeal." (Except for that contestant with the Sox tattoo. She's alright.) The Boston Globe's utilization of Red Sox writers not-named "Gordon" or "Amalie" is similarly unconscionable.

That's pretty much it. A few little tweaks, and the Sox won't be losing three out of every forty-seven games any more. Keep Batshit and Drew off the field, use Gordon and Amalie (with Daniel Malloy covering their days off on the Extra Bases Blog) as the Sox writers/pre-game interviewees, and spell-check all NESN graphics before they make it to the big screen. Simple. The Sox are not that far away from being a 1.000 team. (At least until their inevitable World Series loss to Philadelphia.)

The Sox start yet another series with the sad-sack Tampa Bay Devil Rays (in "NESN-speak", the "Devils Rays") tonight. I'm excited to see Tampa's AAA callups. How bad must those guys be, if they can't make the 25-Man Roster of a .420 team? But don't stay up too late celebrating the Sox win/watching Californication and the late MNF game. The U.S. Women's National Human Foosball Team starts their World Cup run tomorrow at 4:55am against North Korea. If you are not excited about human foosball, with Heather Mitts commentating, you might be tied with J.D. Drew in Soul Count (SC).

Sox lose, division lead down to five games

2008-02-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/31/07)

Well, at least they got some hits. Two of them, even. After being no-hit through six innings yesterday, the Red Sox had become the first team in forty years to be no-hit for at least the first five innings of consecutive games. Not exactly an impressive accomplishment. But, even after a three-game sweep at the hands of the Yankees, the Sox still have a five game lead, with twenty-eight to play. So, if the Sox go 14-14 the rest of the way, the Yankees would have to go 19-9 just to TIE. You still have to like Boston's chances.

Another reason to like their chances was the performance by Curt Schilling yesterday. He allowed only two runs (on six hits) in seven innings of work. He permitted two solo home runs to Yankees 2B Robinson Cano, but not much else. His velocity could have been better, but his location was good (88 pitches, 57 strikes), and he got results. The 3.48 ERA/1.06 WHIP Schilling we have seen in August will fit quite nicely into the Sox' playoff rotation.

The Sox offense shouldn't bear all the blame for the loss, however. In a bold move, NESN/The Boston Globe flew Amalie Benjamin down to New York for the final game. Obviously, this was done in the hopes of preventing a sweep, and it was a move that had to be made. (It should have been made to START the series, but we've already been over that.) Benjamin's pre-game NESN appearance was a huge positive, but then Nick Cafardo was assigned Extra Bases Blogging duties for the game. IN. EXPLICABLE. The Red Sox are playing .434 ball with Cafardo on the EBB, including a woeful .406 against divisional opponents. Sure, it was preferable to have Benjamin, instead of Cafardo, on the game story, but which game story would you rather read? Benjamin, on a Sox loss, or Cafardo, on a Sox win? (If you chose the first option, you might be a fan of good writing, but you still got the wrong answer.)

Not that I am blameless for the Sox' loss. As per usual, I was watching the Red Sox on NESN, with the Phillies-Mets battle taking place on the desktop computer, next to the TV. Usually, I try to positively influence the results through my own behaviors. Typically, this involves positioning the bobbleheads so that they can best help their respective teams, and then rearranging them, according to game situations. But it also involves positioning myself to best help the teams. It is quite a delicate balance. For example, on Tuesday night, when Phillies 1B Ryan Howard hit a blast that fell just short of a home run, I writhed on the floor in anguish. As I writhed, Jason Varitek hit a game-tying home run. What do you do in that situation? Well, I considered the fact that the Phillies trailed in the divisional race, and got up off the floor. The Phillies went on to win, but the Sox did not. On Thursday, I was just unable to find the correct combination to help both teams. The Phillies bullpen kept on blowing leads when I tried to help the Sox. So, I had to revert back to the conditions that the Phillies were succeeding with, and hope for the best for Boston. If the Phillies had won their game in less than four hours, and Benjamin had been assigned to the EBB, things may have gone differently for the Sox. (Plus, getting more than two hits would also have been helpful.) It's going to get real tricky when the Sox and Phillies face each other in the Series.

Sox lose first two in New York

2008-02-18T19:40:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/30/07)

So. Wednesday. Well, I went to Target, my top #1 favorite retail establishment. Love that place. But, how come every time I go there another customer asks me where something is? Yes, I am aware that I propel myself through the store WITH AUTHORITY, but does my soccer shirt with the big shamrock on it indicate that I'm there to help YOU? Geesh. Ask one of the four store associates shooting the shit in Menswear where to find...Oh. Sports blog. Sorry about that.

OK. Did I ever tell you about that catch I made playing whiffleball when I was eight? I was really more of a kickball kid, but, one bright summer day, we were playing with one of those big red FLINSTONES CLUB-type bats, and I was positioned in CF, two feet behind 2B. Where the scouting reports indicated I should be positioned. The batter SLAMMED a high line drive, and I LEAPT immediately, and grasped the oversized whiffleball between my miniature hands. It may well have been the greatest...Oh. Major sports.

What was up with the Texas Rangers announcers calling the game from the bleachers last night? Section 50, as they mentioned about 50 times. They couldn't even see what was going on half the time. How did that make sense? Was it all a set up so that guy from the baseball glove company could come on, give the announcers baseball gloves, say "You bet!" fifty times, and hype his company that sells "not only gloves, but catcher's equipment, and football helmets!"? Maybe the car-racing segments with the Red Sox have made me cynical...Wait. Red Sox. Guess I should blog about them. Seeing as this is a Red Sox/Phillies blog.

OK. Not very concerned about the Sox after their losses to the Yankees the last two nights. But more than a bit, well, pissed off.

Hate when they lose to the Yankees. Clemens didn't seem to have his good stuff, and the Sox should have been the hell out of him. Damon. Hate when that guy does things to beat the Red Sox. (I do, however, like when that noodle-armed dumbass slides into first base. Idiot!)
Why was Josh Beckett allowed to throw so many pitches? Yes, it was a gutty effort by Joshua. But throwing that many pitches is not a good plan. Plus, the Sox have the greatest bullpen since the Saucier-Reed-McGraw Phillies. Okajima. The Serge Protector. Jonathan Robert Papelbon. Use these guys, Francona!
Why did we have Gordon, Moe, and Curly in the pregame? Edes is good, but it's tough to beat the Yankees with that lineup. After resting Benjamin last week in Tampa Bay, she's well-rested for the New York series. Remember that Bruins coach who ignored the goalie assignments I emailed to him? How's he doing these days? I shouldn't have to tell you that, against the Yankees, Edes-Benjamin-Malloy need to be your Big Three.
How does that truck driver on Sox Appeal NOT pick the second contestant? Geez, that was almost as short-sighted as keeping Beckett in for all those pitches!

This stuff makes me miss my blissful days as a Kickball Prodigy. But the Sox have Schilling going today, and will, hopefully, salvage the last game of the series. Boston still has a good-sized lead (7 games, with a win today), so it's all good. The Boston Globe must have gotten my strongly-worded e-mail last night, because Benjamin was back for the pre-game. But NESN may have muted the beneficial effects of her appearance, by playing that W. B. Mason commercial with the choir right after Amalie's interview. When the W. B. guy pulls out that tambourine, I want to...

OK. I'm, obviously, having some anger management concerns. After the game, I'm going to have to head down to the Dog Park with my Michael Vick cards, and get myself under control. Perhaps I'll bump into Bachelorette #2...

Streaking Sox attack Bombers

2008-02-18T19:37:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/28/07)

The Red Sox' streak was in jeopardy. With two outs in the top of the 9th in Chicago, David Ortiz lofted a fairly routine fly ball to left field. It should have been over, as White Sox LF Josh Fields pursued the final Red Sox out of the game. But then the miraculous happened. The ball dropped, and the Red Sox went on to reach double digits for the 4th consecutive game.

That was about it for suspense in the Red Sox' four-game sweep of the White Sox. Boston destroyed Chicago, outscoring them 46-7 in the four games. It was even more pleasant and relaxing than the three game series in Tampa Bay that had preceded it. And that Tampa series was pretty damn relaxing. With a three game set in NY on tap, the Red Sox are well-positioned to knock the Yankees (currently EIGHT games behind!) out of the divisional race.

Soxian blog posts, in these parts, have been as absent as Douglas Mirabelli in the past week or so. Between MLB Extra Innings and working to be able to keep my chocolate milk reserves sufficient, my vices have seriously cut into my blogging time. A new addiction to Gameday Press Pass, and some inopportune connectivity issues have also combined to reduce my output. A particularly brilliant Sox post, which took amost as long as the Nicole Richie's 82 minute jail term to construct, disappeared into the Blogger Void. Surprising insights gleaned from an interview with a Papelbon bobblehead were lost forever. Or at least until the inevitable "re-imagining."

Many of the components of the Sox' impressive success over the past week have been chronicled throughout the blogosphere. But there are some that have been missed, as well as some that could never be chronicled enough.

Jonathan Papelbon hasn't pitched much recently, but when he has, the results have been Papelbonian. Since July began, he has been averaging 1.58 K/batter. Yes, Paps has been striking out each batter he's faced more than one and a half times per AB. Plus, his Scrabbling and Friendly's Scooping have made him the obvious heir apparent to Dennis Eckersley on NESN. When Paps retires from pitching. In about thirty years.

While there has been some criticism that key players have been rested too often, keeping Amalie Benjamin out of the Tampa Bay series will pay dividends in the stretch run. Her paragraph count is already at a single-season career high, and she has used a lot of words in each of her articles this month. While they might have swept the Devil Rays with her, the right long-term decision was made.

(Nick Cafardo + Jim Rice+ TC)<<< (Eck + TC) Hopefully, that unfortunate NESN postgame combo won't be seen again.

NESN also needs to get some editing action on that scrolling bottom line of theirs. Spelling errors galore, game schedule/pitching matchups often a day behind, the only thing worse is that big graphic they show for games against the "Devils Rays." (OK, that Nick Cafardo thing: also worse.)

Not Jason has pitched well for Texas, and David Murphy's 5 for 7 effort in the 30-3 game was about a week's worth of hits for J. D. Drew. But Eric Serge Gagne is getting his Sox' act together, and The Serge Protector will be a huge factor in the playoffs. "Huge" in a POSITIVE RESULTS way, not just in a bulky physique way. Still like the trade. Pour maintenant.

A lot of Bobby Kielty Love going on right now. He has been a great pickup so far, but don't expect this level of success to be sustained too far into the 2020's. By 2024, he'll probably be a platoon player. His defense has been superb- he's made some catches that I don't really think Wily Mo Pena would have made. Plus Pena would likely have done structural damage to Friendly Fenway in the attempts.

The acquisition of minor-league 1B Chris Carter in the Wily Mo Pena deal might not help the Sox too much on the field, as he is one of the few baseball-playing humans with less ability on defense than WMP. Despite his lack of skill with the glove, the screenwriting and producing aptitudes Carter displayed with the X-Files might be able to save Sox Appeal. Storylines with more aliens would certainly be a step in the right direction.

The Red Sox have their top three starting pitchers primed and ready. Two of three in New York is a definite possibility. But it's not who wins or loses- it's who takes the worse beating that counts.

Youth Movement

2008-02-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/17/07)

Incredible. Just incredible. Today was a truly memorable day in Massachusetts history. Red Sox SP Clay Buchholz picks up his first major league win. Theo Epstein finds someone willing to trade for Wily Mo Pena. The Jimmy Fund raises in excess of $3.5 million. The memorable moments weren't confined to Boston, as the Walpole Little League squad defeated Hamilton, Ohio in South Williamsport, PA, on a game-winning home run-saving catch by Walpole CF Mike Rando. They weren't even confined to the United States, as we also had Pawtucket C Kevin Cash hurtling through Macdonald-Cartier International Airport in Ottawa, valiantly attempting to get to Boston in time for the second game of the doubleheader. In that second game, the Sox rallied from a deficit with four runs in the bottom of the eight inning, and The Serge Protector closed the door on the Angels in the 9th, completing the doubleheader sweep. (OK, that part about Eric Gagne getting the save in the second game didn't actually happen. But I didn't want to ruin a really positive paragraph.)

The Sox won the first game, 8-4, as Buchholz held the Angels to three earned runs in his six inning stint. Double H allowed eight hits, three walks, and struck out five. Not a bad debut. HH gave up an unearned run in the top of the first, but the Sox supported the 23 yr. old rookie by responding with SIX runs of their own in the bottom of the inning. The lead stood up, with Hideki Okajima (1.2 scoreless innings) and Jonathan Robert Papelbon (1.1 scoreless innings, two strikeouts, 29th save) finishing things off. David Ortiz (2 for 5) and Dustin Pedroia (2 for 5) each homered, and J. D. Drew was 3 for 5, raising his average to .263. Possibly the only negative was an injury to C Doug Mirabelli. Mirabelli was placed on the DL, necessitating the recall (and sprint through Canada) of Pawtucket backstop Kevin Cash. HH, as planned, was sent back to Pawtucket after the game, with OF Jacoby Ellsbury promoted. The Sox also announced the trade of Wily Mo Pena to the Washington Nationals, for a player to be named. (I am hoping it will be Chad Cordero. That way, after Serge is re-signed, the Sox can have THREE closers next season. Not including Okajima, who could close for many teams.)

In the second game, Red Sox starter Josh Beckett pitched extremely well, allowing only one earned run in seven innings. Beckett (3.15 ERA) had eight strikeouts, permitted only five hits and one walk, striking out eight. But the 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner was outdueled by Angels SP Ervin Santana, who surrendered only four hits and a run in six and a third innings. After Sox reliever Manny Delcarmen allowed two runs in the top of the eight, the Sox trailed 4-1. With the Angels' top three relievers (Justin Speier, Scot Shields, and Francisco Rodriguez) all ready for action, it didn't look good for the Sox.

It didn't look good, that is, until the Sox loaded the bases. With David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez coming to the plate. The two sluggers each doubled, giving the Sox a 5-4 lead. As Papelbon had already pitched the first game, Eric Serge Gagne was called on to save the second one. Serge failed to protect the lead, allowing three runs, on three hits, in his inning of work. He couldn't get his changeup over, and had great difficulty locating his fastball. (As a Red Sox, Gagne has a 15.00 ERA, and a 2.83 WHIP. He is making me long for the halcyon days of J.C. Romero and Joel Piniero.) The Sox could not come back in the bottom of the ninth, and fell, 7-5. It was a pretty crushing defeat. (Thanks, Serge.)

Despite the unfortunate loss in the second game, it was still an incredible day. Tom Caron performed brilliantly in a marathon effort, and Amalie Benjamin turned in two spotless performances on NESN, and some strong Extra Bases-blogging. They were overshadowed, however, by the Jimmy Fund Crew. It's amazing that only $3.5 million plus was raised, considering their efforts. There was just one incredible testimonial after another. So many remarkable, courageous stories. Jordan Leandre, a seven-year old patient at the Dana Farber Cancer, sang the National Anthem before the second game. Last time he sang the anthem at Fenway, he was in a wheelchair. This time he was on his feet, and ready to race around the bases after he finished singing. He got a rousing standing ovation as he circled the bases, and was enveloped by members of the 1967 Red Sox team at home plate. (The 1967 team is known for donating a full share of their World Series winnings.)

Lexi Alden, the 11 yr. old cancer survivor last seen smooching all the Sox players in Baltimore, after a very vocal interview with Tina Cervasio, also made an appearance. This time, with Tom Caron and Jim Rice at the NESN table outside Fenway, she was given her own microphone. Not that she needed it, as she was probably heard quite clearly in Baltimore. Awesome. There were just so many courageous guests who shared their stories with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy in the broadcast booth. In summation, if you didn't donate to The Jimmy Fund today, it's quite possible that you have no soul. (But it is not too late for you. Also, check out the website, as there is quite a lot of interesting stuff there.)

The Sox face the Angels in the third game of the series on Saturday night. Curt Schilling (6-5, 4.06) starts for the Sox against Jered Weaver (8-5, 3.85). It will take a lot to top Friday. Like a Schilling no-hitter, perhaps. Or a scoreless inning from The Serge Protector. Both are, probably, equally likely.

A sweep is in the air...

2008-02-18T19:34:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/17/07)

You can just feel that a Sox sweep is on the way today. Clay Buchholz, with the 12K/9IP ratio, makes his debut in the first game. No way he loses his debut. In the second game, 2007 AL Cy Young Award winner Josh Beckett gets the start. Even the least couth baseball fan has to admit that the Angels' chances of even escaping today's action with a split are not so good.

That tough series last weekend in Baltimore is all but forgotten, as the Sox rallied to win 2.9 of their 3 games against Tampa this week. (Unfortunately, current MLB rules only recognize 2.0 of those victories, but the Sox' lead over the Yankees is back up to 5.5 games. With help from the Tigers and Orioles.)

As would be expected when a team wins 96.667% of a series, the Sox had a bunch of impressive performances. Tim Wakefield no-hit the Rays through six innings in the first game, leaving after completing eight shutout innings (two hits allowed). Jonathan Robert Papelbon pitched the 9th, picking up his 28th save in the 3-0 victory. Jon Lester, making his first start at Fenway since successfully defeating cancer, pitched seven dominating innings in the second game, allowing only two hits. Red Sox team hypnotists performed well, as Eric Serge Gagne contributed a scoreless ninth inning. Serge picked up the win when the Sox staged an incredible comeback in the bottom of the 9th. Mike Lowell hit a solo blast, and Captain Jason Varitek scored the winning run on a Coco Crisp single. Jason currently ranks second on my list of All-time Favorite Jasons, behind this Jason, who is even more well-known for his leadership skills.

The Sox would have won the third game of the series as well, but the U.S. Military got involved. Devil Rays' starter Andy Sonnanstine entered the game with a 1-8 record and a 6.35 ERA, having lost his last eight decisions. But, after a few "tweaks" by military doctors, followed by an aerial escort to the game, Sonnanstine was an effective pitcher. At least for a day. Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka further buried my fantasy team, allowing six runs in six innings (including eight hits and three walks, which were quite WHIP-damaging). The Sox staged a miraculous comeback from 6-0 to 6-5, including a huge ninth-inning double by Julio Lugo (in a remarkable 11 pitch AB), but fell just short. Tom Caron and Amalie Benjamin performed well in the pregame, Daniel Malloy (up from Lowell for a spot start) did well on the Extra Bases Blog, and Sox Appeal was moved back until AFTER the postgame show. But it was not enough to overcome the large deficit.

Caron, Tina Cervasio, and Benjamin all turned in sterling pregame performances today, and the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial was played twice prior to the first pitch. So you can go ahead and put your money on the Sox in the first game. Or, alternatively, you can send your money to the Jimmy Fund. Also a smart move. Either way, don't miss Double H's first MLB victory today.

Sox lose two of three in Baltimore

2008-02-18T19:32:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/12/07)

Four games. After losing two of three in Baltimore, the Red Sox' lead over the MFYs (23-8 in last 31 games) has been whittled down to four games. Not that I'm concerned. The MFYs have a brutal schedule (eight games with Detroit, three with the Angels) coming right up, and the Sox will (hopefully) fatten up on the Devil Rays the next few days. By the time the MFYs come into town for a three game series at the end of the month, the Sox' lead should be back up over eight games. Hopefully. OK. I am a bit concerned. I'd feel a lot better if the Sox' lead was still in double digits, instead of merely hoping it will get up there again.

The weekend could have, should have, gone so much better for the Sox. They easily could have won all three games. Everything was lining up so well for them going into the series. Their top three starting pitchers (Matsuzaka, Beckett, and Schilling) on tap. The home field advantage of Camden Yards. A new Friendly's Scoop (with Kevin Millar!) premiering before the first game. Dennis Eckersley returning to action on NESN, and Amalie Benjamin returning to action on NESN and the Extra Bases Blog. The best bullpen in All of the Land. The Orioles should not have been a problem.

The Sox' Big Three starters did extremely well. Matsuzaka held the Orioles to one measly run in seven innings. Beckett came within one strike of a complete game shutout on Saturday, and allowed only two runs in his 8.2 inning effort Saturday. Schilling permitted only one unearned run in six innings on Sunday (zero walks and zero strikeouts). Top. Notch.

Yet the Sox only managed one win. Who was to blame? Well, certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they shall be held accountable. But if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look at Eric Serge Gagne. On Friday night, he came into the bottom of the eighth to protect a 5-1 lead. By the time the inning had mercifully ended, Hideki Okajima was leaving the mound with the score tied. Gagne had only retired one batter, and was responsible for the four runs that tied the game. The Orioles completed the comeback with a Nick Markakis sacrifice fly off Okajima in the 9th. On Sunday, Gagne was called into the game in the eighth, in relief of Okajima, and allowed a game-tying home run to Miguel Tejeda. The Orioles won in the 10th, on a Kevin Millar three-run walkoff homer.

Gagne finished the series with one inning pitched, five runs allowed, two leads blown. His ERA with Boston is now 15.75, with seven runs allowed in four innings. (Merde.) Perhaps he's not cut out for the 8th inning role. What to do? Well, Gagne is only successful in the 9th inning, and Jonathan Robert Papelbon is successful in all innings that are mathematically conceivable. The solution is obvious. Gagne needs to be hypnotized before each eighth inning performance, so he thinks he is going for the save in the 9th. Perhaps LMontro can help find the hypnotist. L has plenty of contacts.

The Saturday afternoon game, that was magnifique. Well, 99.8% of it, anyway. Josh Beckett was dominating in winning his 15th game. He threw 81 of 115 pitches for strikes, with zero walks allowed (eight strikeouts). He got to within one out of the complete game, before allowing two RBI hits. After Manny Delcarmen came in and issued a walk, Jonathan Papelbon came in for the final out (27th save).

The Saturday matchup would have been a great game to have attended: a ninety degree afternoon with approximately 42,358 (total attendance: 49,242) Red Sox fans filling one of MLBs finest ballparks (Camden Yards), and Beckett the Ace starting. I'm sure I was there, in person, in at least one parallel universe. (Hopefully, not in the first row of the upper deck, though. That was scary shit.) Having to endure that craptacular FOX broadcast, instead, was not so great. Now, it's never an optimal situation when there's a Sox telecast without Eck and Amalie directly involved. But when FOX or ESPN (Joe Morgan!) is on the scene, you just know you're going to need to be proactive with the mute button. There were a couple of gems on Saturday. When it was revealed that "the Sox would concede a run for the double play", and the Sox immediately followed by turning a double play. Which ended the inning, as there had been one out already. (Yikes.) Also, there was the flourish with which the game-ending strikeout by Josh Beckett, completing his complete game shutout, was called. Except that the ball was obviously fouled off, and the Orioles proceeded to score two runs, knocking Beckett from the game. These sorts of mistakes are only OK if Orsillo and RemDawg make them.

The Sox have a three game series at home against the 45-72 Devil Rays this week. The Sox are 5-1 against the Rays, who have the lowest winning percentage in MLB, at .385. (On the plus side, the Rays do have several cartoon heroes on the active roster.) That winning percentage would drop to .375 with a Sox series sweep. The Boston bullpen will have to perform a bit better for that to happen. I'm going to do my part, and help LMontro find that hypnotist.

Moose on the loose...

2008-02-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/8/07)

The Red Sox overcame a great deal of adversity this past weekend, in winning two of three games in Seattle. First off, the Mariners are kind of a good team, and have had a lot of home success (nine wins in a row) against Boston in recent years. Secondly, the Red Sox still have Wily Mo Pena on their team. Not good, that. Thirdly, the new Friendly's Scoop was overdue- the Sox are a .500 team in games played with an overdue Scoop. Additionally, NESN had to make the trip west without All-Stars Tom Caron, Dennis Eckersley, and Amalie Benjamin. While Eric Frede and Gordon Edes are more than capable, you just can't replace the kind of numbers Caron, Eckersley, and Benjamin put up. Frede and Edes did enough to help get the Sox out of there with two wins. Well done!

There were some moose-related concerns that need to be addressed. Prior to the bottom of the fifth inning in Sunday's 9-2 Sox victory, the Mariner Moose almost knocked Sox CF Coco Crisp out of the game, with an unprovoked ATV attack. Fortunately, the nimble outfielder was able to dodge out of the way before a career-ending injury was sustained. Strangely, outside of a scathing verbal attack from Red Sox Pitching Coach John Farrell, there wasn't much of a response from Boston. Considering that Josh Beckett and Jonathan Papelbon are both experienced in "handling" such matters, it is surprising that Fenway doesn't have a new addition. Perhaps hanging in front of the entrance to the visitor's clubhouse. (THAT would be rather intimidating.) Hopefully, Wally the Green Monster will have a proportional response at the ready for the Mariners' next visit to Boston.

In other moosian news, NESN aired clips of a Papelbonian Moose Hunting expedition that took place during the offseason. It was certainly a positive that, instead of car racing people, we were treated to Papelbonian content. You just can't lose with any sort of Papelbonian content. (Well, you usually can't lose.)

I'll be the first one to admit I was excited by the prospect of seeing some clips of Papelbon hunting. What's cooler that slaughtering wild animals? I mean, besides slaughtering them with crossbows and whatnot? The poetry and the romance of the kill! It doesn't get much better than that. Well, next time, I think I'd rather watch the car racing people. First off, Papelbon was operating the camera. From his inability to hold the camera steady, it was obvious that he had been holding it for an extended period of time. Apparently, there are no "pitch counts" in hunting. Then, the Jewel of the Boston Red Sox organization crossed over a seemingly bottomless chasm on a rickety, old rope bridge. Yikes! Couldn't we assign someone more, um, expendable, to go across that bridge? (See Pena, Wily Mo.)

Next, there was a chasm in the road, making it unpassable. Unpassable, for those with fewer than 35 saves in 2006, perhaps. Papelbon and Co. just got some big logs, stuck them in the road chasm, and drove right on over it. (Though, not without some difficulty.) That was too much for this viewer, as I couldn't watch any more. If the Red Sox can't put some language in Hunter Boy's contract preventing him from such dangerous undertakings (and this danger was all BEFORE he started trying to kill half-ton wild animals!), they shouldn't televise them. We'd be better off watching the Sox Appeal episode with all the car racing people. MUCH less disconcerting.

Sox win two of three from O's

2008-02-18T19:29:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/3/07)

Two out of three at home against the Orioles? Not bad. Especially after losing the first game to Bedard, and having to bring Batshit back from the bullpen to make a spot start. A 66-42 record and an unassailable lead over the MFY's? We'll take it!

However, there are a few issues that need to be addressed. Douglas Mirabelli. Three for three with two runs batted in during Wake's Thursday start. You're not quite in Gabor Paul Bako II territory yet with the bat, but those contributions on offense were quite timely. That little prob you had with the tagging up and the (not actually) scoring from third base, we're going to go ahead and overlook that. But chasing after foul pops, with your catcher's mask in hand, that's a bit disconcerting. Can't you chuck that thing out of your way, hand it to the home plate ump, drop kick it into the visitor's dugout, or something? It really bothers us. Perhaps even more than the sub-.400 slugging percentage.

NESN. Wednesday night. Immediately following the game, instead of quality time with Batshit and Terry, we got... Sox Appeal?! What the shithell was that all about? Seriously, couldn't you have broadcast that AFTER the postgame show? Was it necessary to hold us captive like that, as we waited anxiously for Batshit's Pearls O' Wisdom? Sure, many of us were able to escape to the Magical Realm of MLB Extra Innings until the danger was gone, but what of those among us who could not? The MLB Extra Innings-poor? What of them? Were they doomed to watch ESPN on the Bonds Channel? Anyways, over lunch at Bertucci's with TC and KT on Friday, I was assured that such a thing would never be allowed to happen again. But it was rather egregious that it was allowed to happen once. If this (egregiousity?) does occur again, rest assured that the full might of this blog will be wielded against those who have wronged us. Those car-racing people better not come back, either. Our smoting power is without limit.

Eric Gagne made his Soxian debut on Wednesday, and it was a succesful one, as he retired the side in order. (No, we are not counting that bloopy "double" that should have been caught, or the run that scored as a result. Gagne's Soxian ERA is still 0.) But there should be some concern about the paucity of save chances that will be available for Gagne, after Papelbon has had his fill. We need to keep Eric Serge happy. Sure, paying him cash money, in advance, for all the saves he probably would have gotten in Texas was a good start. But we need to create save chances for Gagne, aussi. Unfortunately, the way the roster is currently constructed, there don't seem to be any relievers able to turn a huge lead into a save situation. With the exiles of Messrs. Romero and Piniero to The Land That the DH Forgot, there just isn't anyone to fill this crucial role. Theo has made a huge mistake. Almost as huge as Garrett not picking the hot actuary.

Gagne!

2008-02-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 8/1/07)

Quatre-vingt-trois. That's the number new Red Sox setup man Eric Serge Gagne will be wearing. (Parce que Le Schill est trente-huit.) A great acquistion by the Sox. I would have preferred a power bat (Jermaine Dye?) but not at the price of Delcarmen and Masterson for a three month rental. While Not Jason Gabbard did well in Boston, he really wasn't in the Sox' long-term plans. Nor was AAA OF David Murphy. GM Theo Epstein managed to fortify an area that was already a strength without mortgaging the future. Well done, Theo!

As brilliant as the Gagne acquisition was, even more brilliant is the manner in which they will divide up the save opportunities. Determining the night's closer with a pre-game Scrabble match between Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon is yet another masterstroke by Manager Terry Francona. While preliminary plans are for the Scrabble board to be displayed in the bottom corner of the screen during the NESN pre-game show, it likely won't be long before the Scrabble match is broadcast live. The smack talk will be flying between the two competitve relief aces! Also, as per the terms of Gagne's trade to the Sox, half of the matches will be contested in French. That may prove to be a bit difficile for Papelbon, but it should help further increase Soxian coverage among the French-speaking media. The only loser in this whole scenario is Papelbon Clone, who, barring an injury to his Donor, will be relegated to the bench. Which is probably good, considering his performance in Tampa last Saturday.

The game against the Orioles was a bit of a letdown after the success of the afternoon's dealings. The Beckett-Bedard pitcher's duel didn't pan out, as Beckett was largely ineffective. Bedard, on the other hand, was quite effective (despite excessive walkage) in the Orioles' 5-3 win. David Ortiz (3 for 4, all three of the Sox' RBI, three of the Sox' four total hits) hit a pair of home runs, but it wasn't enough. Wily Mo Pena made an acrobatic catch on a ball that probably could have been caught with a little less drama, and the bumbling RF might have had a play on the home run by Orioles 2B Brian Roberts, on Josh Beckett's very first pitch. Unfortunately, Pena was baffled by the curvature of the right field wall, and was unable to doing anything useful. Pena's RF counterpart, Nick Markakis, handled his position a little better, reaching into the stands down the right field line to make an outstanding catch on a foul ball. It was a remarkable play, but the Sox fans in the area probably could have made things a bit more difficult for the Baltimore outfielder. Beckett fell to 13-5 with the loss (3.41 ERA). He was rather restrained afterwards, only damaging one water cooler, and utilizing 74 (5 unique) swears in his post-game press availability.

The Sox face the Orioles again Wednesday night, in what could be Gagne's first appearance in a Red Sox uniform. Unfortunately, as a result of the Gabbard trade, Batshit Tavarez will get the start for Boston. (I'm a little confused as to why Schilling wasn't held out of his Tuesday Pawtucket rehab start, in order to start for the Sox on Wednesday.) While it is quite amusing to watch Batshit's antics, the Sox really need a win tonight. They can't be losing in front of Gagne and the French-speaking media. But if they can keep the game close into the later innings, the Sox' bullpen superiority should lead them to victory. Especially if the Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial is played more than that (4 unique swears deleted) Foxwoods commercial. The Sox just don't lose under those circumstances.

Sox against the clock

2008-02-18T19:24:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/31/07)

ith only hours remaining until the trade deadline, I'm lounging on the Jermaine Dye Bandwagon, sipping a drink, and waiting for Theo to deliver the bounty. My first reaction to the Dye rumors was one of disinterest- an expensive rental OF with a .235 batting average didn't seem all that appealing. But after admiring his mouth-watering July stats, especially his eight-homer fueled .900 plus OPS, I'm ready to welcome Dye to Boston. Just not if Ellsbury or Masterson or Buchholz is involved. Wily Mo Pena and some A or AA prospect(s) action seems about right, considering Dye would, likely be a Sox for just a few months. As for finding Dye enough ABs, I don't think it would be a problem. Ortiz could be rested extensively, Drew could get more time off, Francona could make it work. It also wouldn't cause any problems in the DH-less World Series games at Citizens Bank Park, because J. D. Drew would certainly have nagging injuries keeping him out of the action in Philly.

The Sox won three of four this weekend against the Devil Rays, but the last two games didn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence. On Saturday, Francona gave Jonathan Papelbon the day off for an impromptu hunting trip. He probably figured they wouldn't have save situation against the woeful D-Rays. When they did need a closer, Francona was forced to bring in the Papelbon Clone. The Clone did some unPapelbonian things, such as allowing hits and runs, in a blown save opportunity that, unfortunately, counts on the actual Papelbon's stats line. That Damn Clone added .009 to Closer Boy's batting average against! Sure, the Sox destroyed the Rays' horrific bullpen in extra innings for the win, but the sullying of Papelbon's pristine statistics was rather troubling. While I have the utmost respect for the contributions made by the Clones to the Red Sox, and to MLB as a whole, it just doesn't seem right that their stats count. Well, at least when those stats hurt the Sox.

As for the Sunday loss, I think I'll have to accept some of the blame for that one. Manny Delcarmen has been remarkably good this season, so I picked him up as an 3rd reliever for one of my fantasy teams on Sunday morning. Fourteen July innings, one earned run allowed, it seemed like a smart pickup. Of course, he gets lit up on Sunday, helping send my team into fourth place. He has since been sent back to the waiver wire. For the good of the Sox.

I only listened to the last few innings of the Sox game on Sunday, as I was on the road. When I tuned in, it was scoreless. You had to like the Sox' chances in a bullpen battle against Tampa. What with the immense suckitude of the Tampa bullpen. Additionally, the Sox have a winning percentage over .700 when I listen to the game while driving. (If gas prices were a bit lower, I'd drive around during all of their games. Earlier in the season, I tried buying gas wholesale, and storing it in tanks behind my fabulous home. But that was short-lived, as the condo association didn't seem too appreciative of my innovative thinking. Obviously, they were not willing to do whatever it takes to support the Sox. Unlike some people.) Delcarmen's unusual badness was too much to overcome.

Sox are at home tonight against the Orioles, with Josh Beckett facing off against Erik Bedard in a superb pitching matchup. Hopefully, Dye (and perhaps Rangers reliever Eric Gagne) will be Red Sox by then.

Another Sox win

2008-02-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/27/07)

You had to know going into the game that the Sox were going to win. Wakefield is undefeated lifetime at Tropicana Field, and has gotten a decision in every start this season. The Devil Ray starter (Hammel) is sub-mediocre, and he's far better than any of those guys in the Tampa bullpen. The D-Ray bullpen had a 10.90 ERA in the last eighteen games going into this one, with a WHIP so obscene that I can't print it on this family blog. And to think that Tampa has a 13-man staff of craptacular crapitude. Yikes.

Of course there were more significant predictors of Soxian success that the above numbers. The new Friendly's Scoop was released today (with Papelbon and Snyder discussing the snappy dressing of Joel Piniero, and Papelbon demonstrating that he didn't know what angle the camera was pointed at), and the Sox never lose on Friendly's Scoop Day. The Heather Mitts Under Armour commercial was played more than the Foxwoods commercial, and also more than that horrific new W.B. Mason commercial. (That new W. B. ad will be giving me nightmares shortly.) Amalie Benjamin was flawless in the pre-game show, speaking on Curt Schilling's rehab (two AAA starts, eight shutout innings, four hits allowed, ten strikeouts), and when he will return to the rotation (likely August 5th or 6th, after one more AAA rehab start, and depending on if they want to give Josh Beckett an extra day of rest). The most significant predictor of all was the fact that the Devil Rays seemed like they'd rather be in the sewers of Manhattan, being pursued by Humanoid Pig Slaves, than be playing at home against the Red Sox. (They probably would have a better chance against the Humanoid Pig Slaves, the HPS's lack mobility, and don't seem to have much of a bullpen either.)

As for the actual game, Wakefield pitched well-six innings, one earned run on six hits and three walks, with seven strikeouts. Manny Delcarmen (two innings) and Kyle Snyder (one inning) shut out Tampa over the final three innings. Devil Ray batters had seven hits and nine strikeouts in the game. Kevin Youkilis had the big blow for the Sox, a three-run homer in the sixth inning. The Rays used three relievers with ERAs over 7.00, including old pal Casey Fossum. Fossum has a 7.71 ERA, with a stratospheric 1.78 WHIP (approaching J. C. Romero territory there) in 72.1 innings. Opposing batters are hitting .339 against him, with a .938 OPS. It's surprising that he has been allowed to pitch so many ineffective innings. Until you look at the rest of the Devil Rays bullpen. Then, it's not actually all that surprising. Hammel did pitch pretty well for Tampa. He left the game without allowing a run, on one hit and two walks in 5.1 innings. But his bullpen allowed two of his runners to score, giving him the L. The Sox actually trailed (1-0) until the sixth inning, but the result never really seemed to be in doubt.

The Sox face the Rays in the second game of the series Saturday night, with Jon Lester making his second start of the season. He is opposed by James Shields, who has pitched very well for the Rays (and my fantasy team) until his last few starts (6.82 ERA in July). He was torched last Sunday by the Yankees (10 ER on 10 H, in 3.1 IP), single-handedly costing me two places in the my league's standings. (Curses!) Saturday, he will be in the dugout on my fantasy bench (I don't typically use pitchers starting against the Sox or Phillies), and will probably in the dugout on the non-fantasy bench after a few innings against the Sox bats. Lester should pick up another W, before he returns to Pawtucket to make room for Curt Schilling later in the week.

The Giant awakens

2008-02-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/27/07)

The slumbering giant has been awakened! Not just the sleepy Red Sox offense, but also that agile outfielder they acquired for that middling guitar player back in the day. (The Day That Will Live In Infamy.) Wily Mo Pena was 2 for 25 (.080 BA) in July before Thursday's action, but raised his July average an astounding .120 with a 4 for 5 performance. Before you say, "Sure, he fattened up his stats against a lefty (Cliff Lee) with an 11.81 post-AS Break ERA, throwing sub-90 MPH fastballs," take a look at the box score. The sprightly Wily Mo did the bulk (all 3 of his XBH) of his damage against relievers with ERAs in the neighborhood of 5.00. Impressive. The Sox need to trade him now- his value will never be higher. Perhaps they can pick up Damaso Marte for him?

Terry Francona is also on the "Trade Pena Now" bandwagon. In the "Roy Rogers' Restaurants Terry's Take with Tina Cervasio", he lauded Pena's ability to hit left-handed pitchers who have minimal baseball ability and a repertoire consisting solely of AA-quality fastballs. (He did not mention that Pena was only in the lineup because J.D. Drew is batting .143 against LHSP's with ERAs under 12.50.) When asked if Wily Mo should be traded while his value was at it's peak, Terry indicated that "no one was untouchable." Pena's skill set is definitely a good fit for the National League. Well, except for that whole fielding thing. But the Pirates can figure that part out. The Buccos wouldn't be where they are today without being masters of innovation.

Wily Mo wasn't the only offensive hero in the Sox' 14-9 win. Manny Ramirez blasted two homers in his 3 for 4 performance. One of his homers carried an estimated 481 feet. That's pretty far. Even LMontro was impressed. And he doesn't impress easily. Cliff Lee was bombed for eight runs (seven earned) on nine hits and three walks. He survived five batters (and zero outs) in the Sox' five-run 5th inning. He left to a chorus of boos, which he responded to by taking his hat off after he left the mound. Because his head was sweaty after giving up all those runs. No hat-tipping to be seen here. He'll take his 3 yr. $14 million contract down to AAA, as he was optioned down after the game.

As you might be able to tell from the score, the Sox' pitching performance could have been better. After the Sox scored five runs in their 23 minute 5th inning, Not Jason Gabbard took the mound with a 9-1 lead. Considering that Not Jason had only allowed one hit (a solo HR) through the first four innings AND he has magical powers over time and space, it seemed like a good time to zip around in the MLB Extra Innings Zone and see what was going on. After watching the Yankees and Royals for awhile (the quality of the Royals broadcast is equivalent to the quality of their team), I flipped back to watch the Sox score some more runs. Unfortunately, at that point, Not Jason was Bonking Pronk with a pitch, reducing the Sox' lead to 9-5. Gabbard got the hook, one out away for qualifying for a victory, and Batshit Tavarez got the call for his first relief appearance this season. Tavarez got out of the inning without further damage, and picked up his 6th win. Batshit did give up four runs in his 2.1 inning, 39 pitch outing, but they were unearned, thanks to a Julio Lugo error. The Sox pitching was bombed for nine runs, on only six hits and four walks, but it was enough to win on this night.

Boston travels to St. Petersburg to play a three game series against the D-Rays this weekend. In tonight's game, RHP Jason Hammel takes his 5.82 ERA this season (10.50 against Boston in his career) to the mound against Sox knuckleballer Tim Wakefield. Wakefield never loses at Tropicana Field (7-0, 2.39 lifetime ERA), and gets a decision every time he starts a game (11-9 in 20 starts this season). Therefore, by the transitive property, the Sox will win.

Sox Faustoed

2008-02-18T19:19:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/26/07)

Josh Beckett was on his game Wednesday night. Eight innings, four hits allowed, one solo HR. The rest of the Sox, not so much. The Sox offense was silenced by Fausto Carmona (Yes, THE Fausto Carmona), and Beckett fell to 13-4 for the season in a 1-0 loss. Carmona improved his record to 13-4 (3.31 ERA), and it appears quite possible that the Sox no longer own him.

A strong pre-game show seemed to point towards success for the Sox, but they were unable to perform at the same high level as Caron, Benjamin, and Cervasio. If the Friendly's Scoop had been updated in a more timely manner, perhaps Beckett would have fourteen wins right now. There were some other factors: a botched hit and run, some questionable umpiring, Coco and Manny both going on their paid break periods (as provided by the Ohio Board of Labor) at the same time, and excessive Foxwoods commercials. But it was the lack of a new Friendly's Scoop that proved too much for the Sox bats to overcome.

It could be a tough one tonight. There is still no new Friendly's Scoop. There were two glaring errors in the pre-game. In the Uno Chicago Grill Red Sox Insider Report, Amalie Benjamin, when speaking about recent Pawtucket pickup OF Brady Clark, gave the wrong date for his DFA'ing by the Dodgers. In the MBTA MLB Notebook, Nick Cafardo mispronounced Phillies LF Pat Burrell's surname. This is a lot to overcome, but with Not Jason, refreshed from his pre-game nap on the mound, the Sox have a chance. And if NESN shows this commercial more times than that damn Foxwoods one, the Indians have no chance.

Sox silence Tribe

2008-02-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/25/07)

The Red Sox only managed one run on Tuesday night. But, with their pitching, who needs more than a single run? Daisuke Matsuzaka escaped some early wildness, pitching seven scoreless frames. To agent Scott Boras' delight, Dice-K threw only 98 pitches. To my delight, he provided one of my fantasy baseball teams (the third place Burninating Ostriches) with an ERA/WHIP-reducing W. He's definitely worth every yen. (At least he was Tuesday. His last few starts, not so much.)

Jonathan (Cincho-Ocho) Papelbon struck out two in the 9th, for his 23rd save. But that wasn't the only Papelbonian highlight of the night. The other highlight was his pre-game interview with Tina Cervasio, during which he spoke of his love of PB&J, as well as his quest to kill a moose. (A worthy goal, that.) But my favorite part was, when asked to name the opponent (non-wild animal category) who has the most success against him, he named journeyman OF Frank Catalanotto. This seemed strange, so I ventured over to baseballreference.com to check who had the best lifetime stats against Jonathan Robert. I went down the list of statistical profiles, without looking at who they belonged to, and found one batter with a .556 avg., in nine AB. Sure enough, it was Frank Catalanotto.

The Sox flashed some leather to protect their lead, with Youkilis, Lowell, and Wily Mo Pena all coming up with big plays in the field. 2B Dustin Pedroia, playing at Manny Ramirez-depth in RF (pre-Manny's chat on defensive positioning with Terry Francona), made a nifty play to retire Indians slugger Travis Hafner. I was concerned that the Sox defense would flounder without Batshit Tavarez out there giving direction, but it appears they are doing fine without him. For now. (Small sample size, folk(s).)

While the Sox only scored one run (against Indians ace C. C. Sabathia), their should be no concerns about their offense. Not with Dave Magadan as hitting coach. I saw a clip of Magadan smashing a playoff-winning hit for the Mariners against the Twins the other day, demonstrating the clutch-hitting that he has brought to the Sox. When anyone remembers that particular game, they always remember Griffey Jr's game-saving catch. Or the 12 yr. old managing the Twins. Or the Twins slugger who proposed to the 12 yr. old Manager's Mom after the game. But, for my yen, Magadan was the story of that memorable piece of baseball history.

The Sox send Josh Beckett to the mound tonight, facing the Indians' Fausto Carmona. Carmona has been lights-out this season, but the Sox own him. He probably still has nightmares about the Sox' beatings of him last season. Besides, Tom Caron remembered to thank Tina Cervasio AND Amalie Benjamin after their segment during the pre-game. And the Sox are undefeated in Beckett starts this season, when Caron thanks both Cervasio and Benjamin in the pre-game show. All signs point to the Sox' sixth win in a row.

Whats right with sports

2008-02-18T19:16:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/24/07)

There are some shady dealings going down in the wide world of sports these days. Canine cruelty. Betting allegations. Rod Barajas. Ugly, ugly stuff. The ugliness isn't limited to sports, either. There's people on the streets getting diseases from monkeys! Why can't they leave those poor sick monkeys alone? What's wrong with the world today? Something to think about, indeed.

But this week we have a truly amazing sports story to celebrate. A remarkable triumph of spirit over adversity. (No, not J.D. Durbin and his complete game shutout victory against Jake Peavy and the Padres. We're talking about another "Real Deal" here.) Jonathan Tyler Lester. First, he beats lymphoma. Then he makes his return to the major leagues, and shuts down the Cleveland Indians. Six innings, one run allowed, and his eighth career victory in ten decisions. Just. Incredible.

I'll admit I was a bit concerned about the timing of his return to the Majors. His performance in Pawtucket had been inconsistent, and he had not pitched very well in his most recent AAA appearances. While it was certainly time for Batshit Crazy to be ejected from the starting rotation (0-3, 8.05 ERA, 2.21 WHIP, .402 BA against in July), it seemed possible that Lester was being rushed a bit. Perhaps not. He was extremely poised and got results. Even if Lester goes back to Pawtucket when Curt Schilling comes off the DL, or is packaged in a trade for Teixeira or Rowand, he's given Red Sox Nation another highlight in what has been a season of highlights. Hopefully, there will be many more highlights this season. Both for Jon and the Sox.

Send my man to San Fran

2008-02-18T19:12:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/5/07)

It was worth every second. All of the physical and mental anguish. Almost five days of extreme deprivation. We were united for a cause. And we succeeded. This Tuesday, the world will enjoy the fruits of the labor that we brutally subjected upon ourselves. But we care not for accolades. Our only concern is that justice has been served.

One-hundred and fifty-eight hardy souls gathered in a subterranean bunker in Saugus, Massachusetts. Humans, robots, and monkeys, alike, cloistered underground with the goal of ensuring Boston Red Sox reliever Hideki Okajima's election to the the American League All-Star Team. (And, yes, robots have souls, but that is a story for another blog post.) We were not to be dissuaded by logical arguments, such as "Okajima has pitched less than half as many innings as his (non-Neshek) competitors." Or, "He's a goddamn relief pitcher, for crissakes." As the Red Sox candidate, Okajima would receive our full voting support. Just as Messrs. Damon and Varitek had, in The Time Before The Great Victory.

As we sat for days, casting vote after vote for Okajima and San Diego Padres SP Chris Young (the robots were rather adamant about giving our NL support to Young, for reasons not known. Yet.), we subsisted on a diet of Aquafina and dragon bones. Two large television screens hung from the opposite end of the room. One displayed Red Sox action, both live, and from the Sox' glorious history. Pre- and postgame content, not including any car racing-themed segments, was also available. On the other screen, Escape from New York was played continuously. The collective brilliance of Matsuzaka and Plissken served as additional inspiration, as we increased our voting output into the millions.

The monkeys were the first to succumb to the perilous conditions. In the middle of Day Three, as Snake Plissken battled the Giant in N.Y. Library, and Rich Garces battled the Yankees in Yankee Stadium, the monkeys revolted. They began to beat the computers, and each other, with the dragon bones. It was neccessary that they be forcibly removed, and "sequestered." The robots were unmoved by the simians' demonstration, as they continued to vote unerringly. The behavior of the robots was, perhaps, more disconcerting than that of the monkeys. Someday, the goals of the humans and the robots will be in opposition. I fear that day. I think we all do.

I managed to make it hours into the last day, before the sleep deprivation affected my perception of reality. I had not slept for days, as the steel implements fashioned by Mike Timlin had prevented my eyes from closing. But I fell into a state somewhere between sleep and hallucination, as I continued to Vote Okajima/Young. My visions became increasingly vivid. I saw a Red Sox OF named Jacoby score from second on a wild pitch. A Red Sox SS named Julio reached first base on an actual hit. Not Jason pitched hitless inning after hitless inning. My mind journeyed to the Red Sox' Picnic in the Park where, teamed with Batshit Crazy Tavarez, we defeated David and D'Angelo Ortiz in a fierce badminton match. Next, I won the top auction prize at the Picnic- the opportunity to cover a Red Sox game with the Globe's Gordon Edes and Amalie Benjamin. Suddenly, I sat in the Fenway Park Press Box, with Gordon the Great's Pad O' Stats mere inches my grasp. I reached for it, eager to greedily devour the statistical goodness contained within the nondescript cardboard covers. My insatiable thirst soon to be quenched, I opened to a random page and began to...

It was over. I was jolted into consciousness by the celebratory yells of the other humans. Before we fled out onto the streets of Saugus, to begin proclaiming that Okajima is A#1, and to find a place that served something other than dragon bones, I took once last look at my computer. The screen that I had spent what seemed like eons staring at, stared back at me. One final vote for Okajima awaited entry of the validation code. I typed in 102704 on the ergonomic keyboard, and clicked, sending one last show of support for Okajima into cyberspace.

All-stars

2008-02-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 7/1/07)

Poor Batshit. He only allows two runs (one earned) in five and two/thirds eventful innings, but picks up a loss for his efforts. Then the Baseball All-Star Selection Committee (BASS) leaves Julian and his 5-6 record (4.39 ERA) off the AL All-Star team. A disappointing day for Boston's favorite 5th starter. If only he could finger-point the Sox' offense to success, as he so ably does with the defense.

The Red Sox will score three runs in a single game again. Someday. But I'm not worried. The Sox have only lost one game this month. Besides, they still have the Good 'ol Binomial Theorem in their corner. Their offense is just too good to do this badly for too long. And a long streak of Soxian wins is just around the corner. Well, as long as Julio Lugo is not allowed on the field in any capacity. He might be a fit as a vendor, though. Just not one who has to throw things or anything. Perhaps they should just pay him the $9 mil./yr. to stay home.

The Jacoby Ellsbury Era has begun. Finally. However, I was surprised that he was given the same number worn by Red Sox immortal Dwayne Hosey. Quite the tough act to follow. Strange that they would put extra pressure on Ellsbury like that. The fleet CF is batting only .125 so far, but he won't be batting under .300 in MLB for long. Once he starts facing a steady diet of lackluster NL pitching, as the starting CF for the Philadelphia Phillies, he'll triple his current BA. At least. It is quite apparent that the reason Ellsbury was brought up to the bigs, is to showcase him for a trade. Expect the Sox to send Ellsbury and Manny Delcarmen to Philly for ALL-STAR CF Aaron Rowand before the week is over. You heard it here first. Don't bother heading over to mlbtraderumors.com or anything. Because I gots the good stuff right here.

The Red Sox were well-represented on the All-Star squad. Beckett. Lowell. Ramirez. Ortiz. Jon Papelbon. JON Papelbon. Not really sure when he stopped going by "Jonathan." Whatever. I just hope if the AL has a save opportunity, they give Jon the ball. And not J. Putz, Bob Jenks, or Frank Rodriguez. The AL team looks pretty good. They could probably use a not-actually-Greek 1B/3B with a .924 OPS, but not bad otherwise.

Hideki Okajima is on the AL Final Vote ballot, going against the likes of Jeremy Bonderman, Kelvin Escobar, and Roy Halladay. And Pat Neshek. I love that Pat Neshek is on the ballot. It is good to see his sensational season hasn't only been noticed by incredibly brilliant fantasy baseball players. (No need to name any of these brilliant fantasy baseball players. One of whom, incidentally, is in 3rd place now, but will be in 1st place shortly.) Neshek and Okajima's brilliance aside, I wonder if one of the SPs would be a better choice, considering that they have pitched quite a few more innings than Okajima and Neshek have. Just trying to be objective here. That said, I'm going to sign up for some more e-mail addresses, so I can get some more votes in for Okajima. Go Sox!

Commercial interruptions

2008-02-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 6/29/07)

The Red Sox finally won again tonight, 2-1 at home over the Texas Rangers. After that forgettable sweep in Seattle, the Sox need to gorge themselves on Texas' woebegone pitching staff, and increase their AL East lead. There wasn't much gorging by the Sox' forgettable offense (2 runs scored or less in 9 of last 17 games) tonight, but the two markers they did scrape up proved sufficient. Barely.

The performances turned in by the Sox' pitching staff tonight were anything but forgettable. Red Sox SP Tim Wakefield permitted only one earned run in six and two-thirds innings, and Manny Delcarmen and Hideki Okajima combined to prevent Texas from scoring further in the 7th and 8th innings. Jonathan Papelbon (0.00 ERA, 21 of 22 batters retired in games since I acquired his bobblehead) came in to secure the victory. Throwing mid-90s heat, he retired the first two Rangers batters without difficulty. Then he put an exclamation point on the win, by outracing the timelessly-speedy Kenny Lofton to 1st base for the game-ending putout.

Well, it would have been a swell exclamation point, if Lofton hadn't been called safe on the play. It was a close call, but Jonathan Robert Papelbon was rather convinced that the wrong verdict was rendered. He proceeded to make his opinion known both immediately and vociferously, as he violently entered 1st Base Umpire Mike Reilly's personal space. No expertise in lip-reading was necessary to realize that the enraged bullpenner was not using words he learned from his Official Scrabble Dictionary. Fortunately, Red Sox 2B Dustin Pedroia pulled Papelbon away from the scene of the alleged crime before there were any ejections. Or casualties. Papelbon plunked the next batter, but then whiffed slugging SS Michael Young (with 600 HR-man Sammy Sosa on deck) for the final out, securing his 19th save. The Sox had overcome Mr. Reilly's crime against Red Sox Nation.

The questionable umpiring in the 9th inning wasn't the only crime perpetuated against Red Sox Nation tonight, however. A much more disconcerting crime was the atrocity of a pre-game show. Usually, the Red Sox pre-game show on NESN is excellent. With knowledgeable insights from Eck, Edes, and Benjamin, and (usually) humorous shenanigans from Messrs. Remy and Orsillo, the pre-game is well worth watching.

Not tonight, however. Perhaps it is partially my fault. I have absolutely zero interest in car racing. On my list of television-viewing preferences, car racing would fall somewhere below watching CHB watch himself on TV. (Note: Papelbon on a duck hunt with Timlin is on the top of the list.) Then again, perhaps it is reasonable to expect the pre-game show for a Red Sox baseball game to feature content that is, at least primarily, baseball-related. Tonight's pre-game show was all about the car racing, however. Jerry Remy riding in some kind of race car. Different race car people being interviewed about different race car topics. Pretty much the only oasis of baseball content was 3rd-string Globie Neil Cafardo's report. After awhile, I was hoping for some Foxwoods commercials. Quite possibly the only thing that could have saved the pre-game show would have been if they had spent the last ten minutes televising the Papelbon-Tavarez-Matsuzaka Boggle Competition. But they didn't. They opted to show a race car driving around the hallowed ground of Fenway. Thankfully, 7pm finally came, and it was time for some baseball.

Baseball, preceded by more car racing people, that is. There was some kind of presentation with Don Orsillo saluting the car racing people and/or the Red Sox for their strategic partnership or whatever with the car racing people and/or the fact that the car driving on the field had some Red Sox logos on it. The crowd at Fenway looked like it shared my level of interest in the proceedings. Also troubling was the big car-racing banner draped over The Monster. The same wall that has oft-displayed the American Flag, as well as many a tribute to baseball memories and successes long past, was now covered in one, big commercial announcement. Almost blasphemous, that. Then some car-racing people were paraded out to throw out the first (three) pitch(es). Their uninspiring efforts paralleled that of the preceding presentation. But, finally, it was time for baseball.

At least until the 2nd inning, when one of the car racing people resurfaced in the broadcast booth. As play continued on the field, car racing topics were discussed. The game on the field was largely ignored. The car racing guy mentioned that he tried to throw the ball as hard as he could to Varitek on his first pitch. Brilliant. Varitek was neither wearing a mask, nor any equipment. The first pitch is not typically delivered at high velocity. It is fortunate that the Sox catcher did not get injured in any way. Fortunate because Sox fans would have to, likely, endure a duo of Mirabelli and Kottaras during any prolonged Varitek absence. Fortunate because the car racing guy would not have left the infield alive if he had beaned 'Tek. Even worse, the inevitable dismemberment would, likely, have delayed the baseball further. Next time Lugo and Clement need to be utilized for first pitch-catching duties.

Hopefully, there won't be any pre-game car racing shenanigans on Saturday. Unless it involves Dustin Pedroia and D'Angelo Ortiz on Big Wheels. That would be fine.

A pleasant shade of gray

2008-02-18T19:06:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 6/14/07)

The skies were gray and overcast as I took a random walk through historic Somerville today. As I listened to the melodic metal stylings of Austria's Serenity, I pondered a matter of great importance. The matter, of course, being the Red Sox and their recent slumpy ways. What was once a twelve-game divisional lead has been reduced to a mere eight games by the streaking New York Yankees. With a challenging schedule awaiting the Sox in the near future, the mood of Red Sox Nation has become almost as gloomy as the foreboding sky. Would the Sox continue to flounder, perhaps even enough to allow the Yankees back into the divisional race? As I calculated that possibility in my head, I came to the obvious conclusion. No. Fucking. Way.

While I consider this conclusion to be unassailable, I would not present it to you, my reader(s), without some substantiation. The exculpation for the conclusion of inevitable Red Sox Superiority is mathematical, as well as, intangible in nature. While I am somewhat limited in my ability to explain the mathematics, due to proprietary concerns, the formulae (and their corresponding derivations) are available from Philly Fanatic, Inc. for a nominal fee.

It is not unusual for a team with a .650+ winning percentage to have periods with a winning percentage of less than .400, particularly over a long season. The Binomial Theorem tells us this. Considering the Binomial Theorem, in conjunction with the Central Limit Theorem, it is possible to determine the likely winning percentage of the Red Sox in 162 trials. (The proof of this is rather rigorous, and the keyboard I currently have at my disposal will not allow me to use the eight Greek letters necessary to provide a satisfactory explanation. However, I will be presenting on this topic in Stratham, NH in two weeks time, if anyone is interested in attending. For a nominal fee, of course.) I have had my calculations verified at The Math Shack, conveniently located in Somerville, MA, and will now reveal the 2007 Red Sox final regular season winning percentage. The Red Sox will finish with a .679 winning percentage, or 110 wins. The Yankees will finish with a .537 winning percentage, or 87 wins.

Not content with the above, I also statistically simulated the remainder of the MLB regular season. After a gajillion Monte Carlo simulations, the Red Sox had won the AL East 98.1% of the time. Once again, I can't really get into the mathematics behind this (unless you send a nominal fee my way. Sorry, no personal checks.) But, suffice it to say, the Red Sox are a near certainty to be AL East champs. (For a similar, but less rigorous analysis, click here. In this simulation, the Sox won the division only 91.078% of the time. Obviously, their math is a wee bit haywire, and they would be well-served to have The Math Shack check their figures.)

In addition to the mathematics, there is also a huge intangible reason that the Sox will win the division. The Influence and Power of the Triumvirate of Media Greatness. There is just no way the Sox lose the division lead with Caron, Benjamin, and Eckersley on the scene. In fact, even if the numbers didn't support the Sox, Eck would just kick the numbers' collective ass. So, no, I am not worried about the Red Sox.

Well, unless the Sox do something batshit and totally unpredictable. Like moving J.D. Drew to the leadoff spot, and batting Lugo, Crisp, and Drew in the 8-9-1 spots in the order. That would create an offensive void of sufficient gravitational pull to destroy objects of great mass. (For example, David Ortiz.) I am not certain that even Eck could save the Sox in that sort of scenario. But, hopefully, such a profane and unbelievable event will never occur.

A Win on this (objective) blogger's scorecard

2008-02-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 6/5/07)

Sometimes a win feels more like a loss. Perhaps the team's effort was uneven. Maybe the opponent's performance was just more craptacular. Or an injury to a key player rendered the victory almost meaningless. (See Phillies, 2007 Philadelphia.) Conversely, a team can fall short on the scoreboard, but still demonstrate characteristics that are much more significant when the big picture is considered. Monday night, the Red Sox exhibited the traits that make them a World Series contender. Though an 11th inning HR off the bat of A's 3B Eric Chavez sent Boston to a 5-4 loss, the Sox showed what they were made of Monday night (and Tuesday morning).

The Sox had enough readily available excuses for a poor performance to stock a spring training roster. After their four hour game ended after midnight on Sunday, they flew across the country, not getting into their hotel rooms into 5am. The pre-game buffet options were, at best, lackluster. Their two relief aces, Jonathan Papelbon and Hideki Okajima, were not available for action, as they were representing the Sox in an MLB-sponsored trivia contest. Their starting pitcher, Julian Tavarez had an ERA more than 200% higher (with 200% less hair) than that of his A's counterpart, Danny Haren. Backups Doug Mirabelli, Eric Hinske, and Wily Mo Pena were all in the starting lineup. Boston's chances for a victory didn't look all that promising.

Going into the 9th inning, those chances looked even less promising. Much less. Danny Haren had pitched brilliantly, allowing only two runs (on solo HRs by David Ortiz and Wily Mo Pena) over his 7.2 innings. Haren permitted a mere four hits and one walk, while striking out nine Sox batters. Julian Tavarez, pitching on seven days rest, was not quite as effective. He gave up three runs on nine (!) hits over 5.2 innings. Tavarez managed to pack 107 pitches into those 5.2 innings, including an astounding 72 in the first three frames. The Sox trailed 4-2 as they batted in the 9th against A's (3rd-string) closer, Alan Embree. Embree had been perfect in all four of his 2007 save opportunities going into the game, and had a 2.45 ERA in May.

David Ortiz started the inning with a double, but Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis were retired, both failing to score Ortiz. With two outs, Sox Manager Terry Francona opted to pinch-hit for gajillion dollar RF J.D. Drew, sending C Jason Varitek up to bat for the slumping outfielder. Varitek came through with an RBI single, and was replaced by pinch-runner Coco Crisp. Crisp then scored from 1st on a single by Wily Mo Pena, as the speedy Crisp was running on the pitch as Pena drove it into right-center. The game was tied.

While Papelbon and Okajima demonstrated the breadth of their knowledge in Alameda, Joel Pineiro attempted to demonstrate that he was a capable reliever in Oakland. He failed. Pineiro gave up a walk and a single, putting the go-ahead run on 3rd base, with no outs. Francona went to J. C. Romero, who walked the 1st batter he faced, loading the bases. But then Romero struck out Eric Chavez, and got Bobby Crosby to hit into an inning-ending 5-2-3 DP. Youkilis to Mirabelli to Hinske. Chavez redeeemed himself with the game-winning HR two innings later, off Kyle Snyder, but the Sox had almost won a game they had almost no business being in. Terry Francona deserves a lot of credit for that.

Tom Caron deserves a lot of credit for the strong pre-game performance. May Pitcher of the Month Amalie Benjamin had some updates on Jon Lester's rehab in her pre-game segment, and she allowed only one run in her six innings of work. With strong perfomances on the Extra Bases Blog, and in her game story for Sunday's night's game, she's off to an excellent start in June. However, she did tire a bit in the 6th, and was saved by a tumbling catch by Kathryn Tappen in CF, and a nifty play on a line drive by SS Eric Frede. Caron took note of the hard-hit outs in the 6th, and sent Gordon Edes out for the 7th inning. Edes pitched the 7th and 8th, and his MLB Notebook was as insightful as usual. 1B Don Orsillo helped get Edes out of trouble in the 8th, digging out a low throw from 2B Jerry Remy, completing a Frede-Remy-Orsillo twin killing. Eckersley shut the door in the 9th, punctuating yet another save with an unprovoked shot at the Yankees and their overall suckitude. Nice. The pre-game players performed well, but it was Caron who put them in position to win. SS Frede will have to content himself with his three Gold Gloves, and his .321 lifetime batting average, because he won't be taking the reins from Chessmaster Caron any time soon. The Sox send Daisuke Matsuzaka to the mound against old pal Lenny DiNardo tonight, as they attempt to match the success of their pre-game crew.

The Mighty Lowell

2008-02-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 6/4/07)

The Red Sox were not to be denied a win tonight. I was sure of it. With 8-0 Josh Beckett on the mound, there was no way the Sox would lose the rubber game of this three-game series. At home, against the overpaid, underperforming, injury-prone team formerly known as the "Bombers?" Not. Gonna. Happen. I was already figuring out how soon the Yankees, who would be trailing the Sox by 14.5 games after tonight's Boston win, would be eliminated from contention for the AL East crown.

The Yankees jumped to a 4-0 lead, with the four runs allowed by Beckett being the most he's allowed in a start this season. Yankee SP Andy Pettitte was pitching well, shutting out the Sox through the first four frames, but Boston got to him for five runs in the bottom of the 5th. Dustin Pedroia (.336 BA, hitting streak now at 13 games) had the big hit, a 2-run double. David Ortiz (.325) had a run-scoring single, with another run scoring when Yankee RF Bobby Abreu misplayed the ball. Kevin Youkilis (.350) hit a sacrifice fly, staking the Red Sox to a 5-4 lead. Pettitte only got one out in the inning, and all five runs were charged to him, raising his season ERA from 2.51 to 2.96. With a 5-4 lead, the only question was how Beckett and the Sox' invincible bullpen would divide up the remaining four scoreless innings they had ahead of them.

Beckett left the game in the 7th, with Javier Lopez (3.46 ERA), Brendan Donnelly (3.63 ERA), and Hideki Okajima (1.27 ERA) combining to get out of the inning with the lead intact. With a 5-4 lead in the 8th, and Okajima and Papelbon (1.77 ERA) ready to finish out the last two innings, it was just a matter of how low the opponents' batting averages against the two Sox relief aces would go. Except Okajima allowed a single to Hideki Matsui, followed by a triple to Robinson Cano, tying the game at 5. As the rain began to fall softly at Fenway, Okajima managed to retire the next three Yankee batters, without allowing the go-ahead run to score from 3rd. I guess you can't expect Okajima to never give up runs. (We only expect PAPELBON to never give up runs.) The run cost Beckett his 9th win, but it put Okajima in position to get his 2nd win, which seemed somehow deserved, considering how well the Japanese southpaw has pitched this year. Besides Beckett still has plenty of starts left, he'll get his 22 wins without too much difficulty.

The Sox should have gone ahead in the bottom of the 8th, but Yankee RF Bobby Abreu made a lucky catch in deep right-center on a blast from Dustin Pedroia. That would have plated two runs, and given Boston an unassailable 7-5 lead. No problem. Jonathan Papelbon would dominate the Yanks in the top of the 9th, and the Walk-Off Sox would win it in the bottom of the inning. Paps would pick up the win, and Mike Lowell would achieve redemption for his error earlier in the game, by knocking in the winning run. Three years from now, I'd be watching this game again on NESN, relishing the memories of another AL Championship season.

The Sox' indomitable closer stared through the now-pounding raindrops, grimacing in intense concentration as he received the sign from C Jason Varitek. Papelbon had retired the first two Yankee batters without any difficulty, as is his way. He had an 0-2 count on Yankee 3B Alex Rodriguez. Fenway Park was primed to erupt in the manner only Fenway can, as Papelbon whiffed Sox fans' least popular player, on their least popular team. Papelbon fired a 95 MPH fastball, putting an exclamation point on what was to be another scoreless inning for the Closer of the Millenium. It was just so perfectly scripted that the inning-ending strikeout would come at the expense of Rodriguez. Except Rodriguez drove the fastball back through the rain, over the short bullpen fence in right field, giving the Yankees a shocking 6-5 lead. Papelbon escaped the inning without any more damage, though his ERA was now an unsightly (for him) 2.11.

But that meaningless 9th inning run would just add a little suspense to the Sox' walk-off win. Now it would just be a come-from-behind walk-off win. Simply a matter of semantics. Still a W in the box score. Yankee closer Mariano Rivera dragged his unwieldy 5.30 ERA in from the bullpen to face the inevitable. Like the Yankees, Rivera was just a ghost of his former self. Rivera and the Yanks have only memories of past excellence to cling to, while the Red Sox are the team of the future. And, of course, the present.

The Sox let the excitement build, opting to start their rally with two outs. Leading off the inning, David Ortiz had battled Rivera in an intense eleven pitch at-bat, before driving a ball that found the glove of Abreu in deep RF. The Sox were not using the Papi script tonight. They had chosen a more exciting, more exhilarating path to victory. There would be no extra innings. There would be one single, mighty blow to secure the win over their hated rivals. A towering blast through the torrent from the skies, drowning the Yankees' hopes in a sea of utter despair. Sox fans would pour out onto the streets, their cumulative exuberance to be heard far above the thunder.

As the rain continued to pummel the players from the heavens, future All-Star Kevin Youkilis took one for the team, reaching 1st on a HBP. Youk, once again, was doing whatever it took to secure another win. Mike Lowell came to the plate as the go-ahead run. He let Rivera get to two strikes, possibly lulling the Yankees into believing that a win was still within their grasp. Making the Sox' pending victory all the more sweeter. The excitement reached a fever pitch. The stands at Fenway shook. The ESPN announcers were silent, as I had muted them long ago. The heavens poured. Red Sox Nation poised to express their jubilation. Then Lowell struck out to end the game. Yankees 6, Red Sox 5.

Watch what you think, they can read your mind

2008-02-18T18:59:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 5/31/07)

It's been a rough week for this replacement-level blogger. Condensed games on MLB.TV. Missed pre-game shows. But restitution has been made, and I am ready to again be a (semi-)useful member of the blogosphere. I am still plagued by the symptoms of missed pre-game shows (impaired motor functions, Sox Knowledge Deficiency), but my trusted medical professional has assured me that SKD can be overcome. A healthy dose of NESN should do the trick.

The past week has been anything but rough for the Sox. A three-game road sweep of the Rangers, followed by two of three over Cleveland at home, extended the Sox' AL East lead to 10.5 games over 2nd place Baltimore, and 13.5 games over the Last Place Yankees. I keep expecting the Sox to stop overachieving, and regress to the mean a little bit. But they just seem to win game after game. If they continue playing over .650 ball (.692 so far this season), they'll be setting up their postseason rotation by July.

Some Soxian highlights:

Youk- He hit .402 in May. He's batting .354, with a .987 OPS, for the season. He is a speed merchant (well, faster than Pedroia, at least) on the bases, has a sweet beard, and a 1.000 fielding pct. He had one game in May where he didn't have a base hit. He's not on the All-Star ballot, but he's certainly deserving of a spot on the team. I wrote him in as an OF on my ballots, as he played 17 games there last year, and I wanted to vote for Lowell at 3B. Youk hasn't actually played the OF this season, but Papi hasn't played any 1B either.

Pedroia- Going into May, he was batting .182. Then he hit .415, with 1.072 (!) OPS in May. Are you kidding me? I was ready to demote him to Pawtucket, to the Shire, have him unceremoniusly dumped into Mt. Doom, whatever necessary to get rid of him. Now I'm mad at Francona whenever Pedroia isn't in the lineup.

Batshit Crazy- Nice move by Julian Tavarez, rolling the ball to 1B for the out on a comebacker. These are the textbook fundamentals he teaches at his baseball academy in Natick. His pitching performances have been less-than-mediocre (5.40 ERA) this season, but he is becoming one of my favorites. Perhaps he's not the only one who is Batshit.

Beckett- 8-0, 2.65 ERA. Incredible.

Papelbon- He's given up some hits, walks, even some runs (2 in his last 5 IP), lately. His WHIP has even increased to (gasp) 1.09! He needs to have another 0.00 ERA month, like he did in April. He's still the best closer in the history of the sport, but RSN holds him to a much higher standard than that.

Frede- The fact that Eric Frede is a backup for the pre-game show speaks volumes about the depth of the organization. Boston Bruins fans know what I'm talking about. He'd be a starter on just about any other squad.

Caron- Quietly approaching 3,000 hits in a long, consistent career. First ballot HOFer, with likely a long managerial career to follow.

Benjamin- Had a little trouble the second time through the lineup in her 1st two April starts, but has been almost invincible since. Between-start side sessions with pitching coach John Farrell have paid off, as Amalie was unbeaten in her four May decisions (2.16 ERA). Her writing has challenged Curt Schilling's for best on the starting staff, and her enthusiasm has endeared her to Red Sox players and fans, alike. (Though not so much to the Detroit Tigers. Her antics on the mound, after striking out the side during a May 14th start, touched off a bench-clearing brawl. If Jason Varitek hadn't intercepted a bat-wielding Gary Sheffield, as Sheffield approached Benjamin to counsel her on her behavior, this would be a very different post.) Benjamin currently trails Hazel Mae by only 1438 blogosphere post mentions. She had better get cracking on bridging that gap, as she is widely considered the frontrunner for the vacant Columbus Blue Jackets GM position. She will likely assume that role by mid-July.

The Sox play the reeling Yankees in a three-game set this weekend at Fenway. The Yankees are in such disarray right now, that a sweep for the torrid Sox is a very possible outcome. A sweep would leave New York 16.5 games behind Boston.

Ultimate Fan

2008-02-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/25/07)

It was a hot and humid 90 degree day here in the Boston area today. But I spent most of the day indoors. Not that I'm complaining. I wrapped up shooting for a regional commercial that I'll be appearing in. It was actually the second in a series of commercials- the first was so well-received, it was decided there would be a second. (At least. There may be more ahead! Who knows?)

While I have had some experience in television, these have been the first commercials that I've been a part of. You'd think that a thirty second commercial wouldn't take too long to shoot, but it actually takes quite a while. I think I did pretty well, but I guess it should have been easy for me, as I was basically playing myself. I even wore my own clothes. No wardrobe necessary. It was also filmed partially in my home, and partially in my neighborhood, so there was definitely a bit of a comfort factor. You can see the first commercial here.

This post was going to be a review of the Sox accomplishments to date. I already had the musical theme picked out. My transitions were prepped and I had a lot of good material. But I got scooped by (Pos-Men #159) Amalie Benjamin. It wasn't the first time and won't be the last. Your time would be better served listening here, than reading anything I would write. She should have been a little more glowingly positive about the Phillies' chances at the playoffs (though she did predict them as the NL wild card team in the preseason), but aside from that it was a good performance. (This clip was also on NESN, prior to tonight's Rangers-Sox rain delay.) Most of the blogosphere is raving about Hazel Mae and Tina Cervasio, but have you ever seen either of them speak about "correlations" or "Fausto Carmona?" Didn't think so...

Discombobulated

2008-02-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/24/07)

The Red Sox were just all of out sorts Wednesday night. Gordon Edes short-changing them when he referred to the "three-consecutive" HR barrage, NESN going to commercial with two outs in the inning, the "Wonder of it all" commercial only being played fifty-eight times, as opposed to the eighty-seven showings that is required by Commonwealth of Massachusetts law. Things just were just not going smoothly.

The actual game itself, an 8-3 loss to the Yankees, didn't go so well either. Curt Schilling was ineffective, allowing three runs in the 1st inning, and six in the first four. In his six innings, he surrendered twelve (!) hits and five earned runs. The Yankees bombed Sox pitching for sixteen hits. The Sox had twelve hits of their own, including Coco Crisp's 1st HR of the season, but they left eight men on base. Yankee SP Andy Pettitte permitted only one run in his seven innings win, despite giving up nine hits.

Some positives:

CHB had a segment before the game, so I was able to get some much-needed vacuuming done at that point.
Amalie Benjamin (blogosphere Pos-Men #154) had a long (15 minute?) segment with Eric Frede. In the early innings, she was having difficulty finding the correct arm slot, but she got stronger as the segment progressed. Despite the excessive gyration of her appendages, she communicated her knowledge well, and her enthusiasm for the topic was obvious. (Final line: 7 IP 5 H 1 ER 2 BB 9 K) She'll need to work with John Farrell on her mechanics a bit, but you just can't teach that kind of raw talent.
Dennis Eckersley had another dominating performance. With results like these, it's curious that Ken Macha was given so many save opportunities in the last few weeks. Eck is just downright Papelbonian.
Kevin Youkilis (2-4, .347) continued his hot hitting. Where would the Sox be if they had traded the (not actually Greek) God of Walks for GM Billy Beane? OK, probably in 1st place by 8.5 games. But Youk has still been the best 1B in the AL this season, and is quite deserving of a spot on the All-star team. (Alongside Beckett, Okajima, Papelbon, Benjamin, Matsuzaka, Lowell, and Eckersley. Note: This is a partial list.)
Okajima and Papelbon were not used on Wednesday, giving them two days off before the Texas series.

The Sox take their 9.5 game AL East lead into Texas to face the 18-29 Rangers. Texas has won only three of their last ten, and their .383 "winning" percentage is the worst in the AL. With the Yankees playing the 1st place Angels this weekend, this should be a good time for the Sox to further extend their already lengthy lead.

Sick, but just in the head

2008-02-18T18:52:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/23/07)

Those of you who have followed Julian Tavarez' careers in the baseball and adult film industries have a good idea of his makeup. Sure, he is a bit erratic, and prone to control problems. But he is always willing to take the ball, whenever he gets the opportunity. His manhood is not to be questioned. Tonight, on his 34th birthday, he was suffering from flu-like systems that would have scratched a lesser man from his start. But Tavarez, seen dressed heavily before the game, indicated that "his head was sick, but his arm was fine." These conditions were less than atypical for the veteran pitcher, so he was good to go.

Mike Mussina got the start for the Yankees. He was not good to go. In the top of the 1st inning, the Sox sent eight batters to the plate, and jumped to a quick 3-0 lead. Mussina got to two strikes on five of those batters, but just couldn't seem to put them away. (The leisurely pace of his 85 MPH fastball may have been a factor in his inability to close out at bats.) The big blow was a three-run HR by Manny Ramirez, his 7th of the season. The Sox looked poised to knock Mussina out of the game early, and then the bats would feast on a banquet of overused Yankee relievers. Even J.D. Drew (.179 in May) was salivating at that prospect.

Mussina, though he allowed a solo HR to Mike Lowell (9) in the 4th, managed to hang in the game. The Stanford Economics Major even threw a very economical 8 pitches in the 6th, and was sent out to start the 7th. Whereupon the Sox finally finished him off with three more runs. I was very surprised Yankees MGR Joe Torre left Mussina out there so long (99 pitches), but the weak Yankee bullpen was probably a factor in Torre's decision-making. Mussina's final line was 6.2 IP, 10 H, 7 ER, and his ERA jumped to 6.52.

Batshit Crazy Tavarez also had some control problems (four walks), but only allowed three hits in his 5 2/3 innings. He held the Yanks to two runs, and left the game with a 4-2 lead. Tavarez threw 106 pitches (only 58 for strikes), but gutted out his third win in seven innings. He performed very well, especially considering his illness.

With the Sox leading 7-2 into the bottom of the 8th, I was rather shocked that Terry Francona sent Hideki Okajima out for his 22nd appearance of the season. (Perhaps Francona was exhibiting symptoms of Tavarez' illness?) Surely, the Sox could hold the Yanks to four runs or less, without having to use Okajima or Papelbon. The pitchers I would have used in the 8th inning, instead of Okajima, include: Snyder, Romero, Pineiro, Eckersley, and McCarty. That is just a partial list. Okajima had almost nothing, but Francona left him out there for the 29 pitches it took the Japanese southpaw to get through the inning. He allowed one hit, two walks, and one run. Only 15 of his 29 offerings were for strikes.

Then, with a 7-3 lead in the 9th, Closer Jonathan Papelbon was called into the game. He also labored a bit, walking two, before he used a 95 MPH heater to close out the Yanks. He threw 25 pitches, only 14 for strikes. Usually, I am very excited to get to see Papelbon pitch, but this was not the type of game in which I want to see him involved. We need to have improved Papelbon Conservation. Hopefully, using the two bullpen aces tonight, for almost 30 pitches each, won't make the pair unavailable later in the week, when they are needed in a close game.

I was very excited to see Dennis Eckersley back on the pre-game show. He was missed. Gordon Edes threw out some serious stats in his appearance, which was strong. CHB stopped hyping his book (in the top 5700 in Books on Amazon.com!) for a live segment, but I didn't see it because my TV is programmed to block objectionable content. So I don't mistakenly see obscene things like CHB interviews, or Dancing With The Stars. But I'm sure all of his points were salient, and his references contemporary. (I'm kidding, CHB. Please stop e-mailing my boss!) Amalie Benjamin was absent, as she was receiving a well-deserved Doctorate in Sportswriting from Columbia. (No, it wasn't an "honorary" doctorate. If you read the Globe regularly, you wouldn't even consider such things.) It has recently come to my attention that Amalie trails Hazel Mae in Blogosphere Pos-Mens 1361 to 150, so I'm determined to do my level best to help bridge that gap. Because any post without any Benjamin or Papelbon Mentions just isn't worth reading. Unless it's a post about the Phillies, in which case it's simply lacking.

An effective 5th starter's start

2008-02-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/20/07)

The unthinkable happened Sunday. Jonathan Robert Papelbon allowed three "hits" and an earned run. It was the second time this season in which a Papelbon appearance included scoring by the opposition. Twice. In the same season.

DO NOT BE ALARMED! First off, it was a non-save situation. The Sox didn't lose, or anything crazy like that. (Now, THAT would be unthinkable.) Secondly, the "hits" were crap. Edgar Renteria dunked a weak bloop into short RF, that somehow fell between Pedroia, Crisp, and Drew for a wussy little single. Renteria then took off for second, as an indifferent Varitek allowed him the base. There was a second crappy single, in which the bat was, literally, split into pieces by the immense firepower of the Red Sox' 2nd best foosball player. Later, there was another single, this one was struck well, on a Pap slider. Everyone else- WHIFF CITY. Papelbon struck out the side with a ferocious mid-90's heater. Despite being touched for a meaningless run, which increased his ERA to a still-Papelbonian 1.76, Closer Boy was his usual dominant self. You can rest assured that he will be ready for the impending series against the fading Yankees. It doesn't seem likely that New York will be within three (or ten) runs in the 9th inning of any of the games. But Jonathan will probably come in for a scoreless inning in a non-save situation to get some work in/get his ERA under 1.70.

Kason Gabbard, called up from Pawtucket to make a spot start, pitched five-plus strong innings. He was charged with only two earned runs, both scoring after Brendan Donnelly was called into the game in the 6th. Donnelly seemed to be wearing Detroit Tiger SP Nate Robertson's spectacles, which may have adversely affected his effectiveness. Donnelly's sub-par outing (4 batters faced, 2 hits/1 walk allowed, 1 K) raised Gabbard's ERA from 0.00 to 3.60. Still, it was quite a satisfactory "5th starter's performance" by the 25 year old lefty. (Note: A certain Extra Bases blogger recently referred to a start by Julian Tavarez, in which he allowed ten hits and four earned runs in five innings, as a good "5th starter's performance." But, considering Batshit Crazy's ERA for that appearance was 7.20, it doesn't seem there was anything "good" about it.)

After watching Gabbard silence the Braves' bats today, I wondered what the Sox' record would be had he been in the rotation all season. So I ran a statistical simulation from the start of the season, with Gabbard taking all of Tavarez' starts, and Tavarez working out of the bullpen. The resulting predicted record for the Sox: 43-0. Even though Tavarez was projected to receive a ten game suspension for an incident involving poisoned darts, the simulation predicted that Sox would be undefeated with Gabbard as the 5th starter. Of course, the Manny-Batshit Love in the Dugout incident would never have occurred in this scenario. So there are pros and cons. (Note: I ran the same simulation with Papelbon in the rotation, and the result was a 58-0 record for the Sox. In 43 games.)

The game was delayed two and a half hours from the start. As a result, I only missed the first inning. However, the Sox scored four of their six runs in that inning. All four runs scored almost immediately after I crossed over from the highway into Somerville, a sudden outburst by the Sox that sometimes occurs as a direct result of my driving patterns. Jason Varitek (.280) had the big blow, a two-out triple, which cleared the loaded bases. The Sox have won seven of their last ten, building up some momentum as they enter their series in New York. Not that they need any momentum against the 19-23 Yankees, winners of three of their last ten.

All the yen in the world

2008-02-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/19/07)

Fifty-eight Gajillion American Dollars. When I saw Julian Tavarez wearing shoes with Big Papi's visage on the front, the future was immediately obvious. The Papelbonian Signature Line. Papelbon Signature Hunting Jackets. Papelbon Signature Safari Hats. Papelbon Signature Nunchakas. Papelbon EVERYTHING. I would pay fifty-eight gajillion dollars for any of these incredible items. This needs to happen. A year from now I expect to be watching Paps play badminton on NESN, with commercials for these items between matches. There is too much potential for profit here to be ignored.

The Papi shoes are good for now, though. Julian Tavarez is certainly the correct choice to model them. Unless this was all a dream. Tina Cervasio and Amalie Benjamin describing a bizarre Sox item worn by Julian Tavarez certainly seems like the type of dream I would have. But in my dream, Amalie would be a bit more fluid in her comedic delivery. As anyone who's seen her perform in the comedy clubs would agree, Amalie excels in the comedic arts. (If you don't know anyone who has seen her perform in that arena, you'll just have to take my word for it.) But she did perform very well today in the Extra Bases Blog, at least until the later innings when she seemed to tire, and her pitches were up in the zone. However, Gordon Edes should have been brought in to relieve her well before that point. Her pitch count was very high, and you could see the signs of fatigue behind the hipster glasses.

You won't see signs of fatigue in Daisuke Matsuzaka's eyes any time soon. He's worth every penny of the 58 gajillion dollars (70280978000000000 yen) the Sox paid for him. (Yes. The Sox' big offseason acquisition is of comparable value to a Papelbon Safari Hat. If you don't think that seems plausible, you obviously are not imagining the Safari Hat properly.) He threw 103 pitches in eight innings, and indicated in interviews after the game that he was good for about 150 pitches a game. Matsuzaka scattered nine hits and did not allow a walk. All three runs he conceded came in the top of the 7th, at which point the Sox had a 12-0 lead. He is 3-0 with a 1.87 ERA in his last three starts, and is making my 7th round fantasy league selection seem quite prescient. (And not "a reach", as has been derisively suggested in some circles.)

I missed about half of the first game, however, due to the responsibilities of my position as a consultant for the Philadelphia Phillies organization. I was on the highway when Mike Lowell pounded a grand slam in the 5th, giving the Sox a 7-0 lead. I pumped my fist several times, and honked my horn, in celebration of the blast over the Green Monster. None of the other cars seemed to share my exuberance, and the car immediately in front of me made a sudden, and somewhat daring, change to a different lane. Apparently, they did not interpret my behavior in the proper Soxian context. But they were driving kind of slow (only 10 MPH above the speed limit), and their removal from my path helped me get home in time to see Wily Mo Pena's prodigious shot. Reports indicate that the ball landed somewhere in Billerica. Wily Mo celebrated the HR by returning to the dugout and treating himself to a pudding cup. After he finished with the pudding, he played the air drums on his sizeable thighs, until Boston's 13-3 victory was complete. There is definitely a place for Wily Mo in my Papelbonian Vision of Future NESN.

The second game of the doubleheader- not so good. I was hoping for a rainout before the game was official, but despite the torrent of raindrops, the torrent of Braves offense continued unabated. I was also watching the Phillies-Blue Jays game, and, at one point, both of my teams faced eleven runs deficits. Not the best night.

The Sox game seemed almost surreal by the end. The stands had large pockets of empty desolation, some kind of alarm was going off at the stadium, the fans were getting a wee bit rowdy, Cora was playing 1B. Weird, crazy stuff. But I hope they were taping Sox Appeal during the soggy tumult. These would be the ideal circumstances to separate the wheat from the chaff. (The blue hats from the pink?) Besides that, there wasn't too much possible utility to be derived from Saturday night's 14-0 loss. Unless you value watching Cora play exciting, new positions. In which case, you might be the only viewer of tonight's Sox In 2. Buenos noches, amigos!

Sox WHOMP Tigers. Twice.

2008-02-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/17/07)

First off, 12:35pm?! What kind of start time is that for a WEEKDAY game? Seriously, some of us are gainfully employed in high profile jobs. But I was lucky to get out a little early, listening to the middle innings on radio, and watching the last three on NESN. But totally missed the pre-game show. Scoff, if you will, but I like to watch the pre-game show. It gets me in the proper Soxian frame of mind. Plus, I like the shenanigans.

Those radio guys are pretty good but there was a bit of Batshit Love going on. Not the "Manny Being Manny" type of Batshit Love.
More like McCarver's "Jeter Love." There was quite a bit of talk of Tavarez being a great teammate, great family man, and getting a bad rap. Apparently, Tavarez and his Batshit Ways are growing on all us in Red Sox Nation. Thursday, he was directing traffic in the infield with the finger points, as usual, a habit he indicates he "doesn't even realize he's doing." (As quoted by Sox radio announcers.) But even more than the random quirkiness, I enjoyed Tavarez' seven innings of one-run ball. Okajima and Papelbon held the Tigers scoreless the rest of the way, and the Sox had another victory, 2-1.

From 4pm to 6pm (a whole, dark, desolate two hours!), NESN had no live Sox content. A prime opportunity missed. They could have televised the between-games Sox foosball tournament, won by Dustin Pedroia. Or Manny and Julian spending time together. Or Jonathan Papelbon listening to, and critiquing, Amalie Benjamin, as she prepared for her Thursday PM lecture at M.I.T. (Subject matter: Quantum Mechanics) Some NESN bigwigs dropped the foosball here.

But they made up for it with a strong pre-game effort for the second game. It included Dave McCarty speaking about the time he dressed as Wally, the Green Monster. (I like McCarty, they should keep him around.) But the highlight, undoubtedly, was RemDawg playing the air guitar before a live spot, falling off the table he was "performing" on, and then being unable to control his laughter afterwards. I suspect we'll be seeing that clip a few times in the future. (A clip is currently available on redsox.com.) Expect RemDawg to be associated with Guitar Hero III, in some manner. He has too much obvious talent not to be.

Curt Schilling was a bit sloppy in his start in the second game, allowing eight hits in six innings of work. All eight of the hits were for extra bases (seven doubles, solo HR), and he threw 118 pitches. But he somehow kept getting out of trouble, stranding eleven Detroit runners, and only allowing two runs. A gutsy display of veteranosity from Boston's Premier Blogger.

But I must confess I missed some of Curt's performance, as I was also watching the season finale of The Office. Which was, in fact, brilliant. In might be the Garelick Chocolate Milk talking, or the vertigo-inducing high of Sox Superiority, but that might have been the greatest hour of (non-sports) programming ever. (Which would place it in 467,543,768th place overall.)
In baseball terms, it was a good as a matchup between Papelbon and Hamels, both as starters, where they each struck out the side on nine pitches. In each of the first 47 innings. While playing chess against each other from laptops in their respective dugouts. Then, after agreeing to draws in both baseball and chess, they go out together, onto the streets of Boston to fight crime. (Because Chase Utley has already rid Philadelphia of crime.) The Office was that good tonight. (That's what she said.)

Back at Fenway, reserve outfielder Eric Hinske took matters into his own hands, as pretty much everyone was expecting him to do. First, he made an outstanding, diving catch in RF, in which he embedded his face into the dirt near the foul line. (Tiger RF Magglio Ordonez was quoted after the game as saying he could "still see Hinske's face (carved) in(to) the dirt" and it was "creeping him (Ordonez) out.") Hinske's catch was ESPN's "Top Play of the Day", which would be a greater distinction if ESPN acknowledged the sport known as "hockey." To get an idea of how the catch must have felt, you'd have to have a buddy fill a shovel with dirt and then WHOMP you in the face with it. (For best results, choose Wily Mo Pena as your buddy. And make sure you stand still- don't change speeds, or curve, or anything like that when waiting for the WHOMP.)

Next, in an effort to separate himself in the competition for playing time with oft-injured J.D. Drew, Hinske demonstrated his tremendous pain tolerance by staying in the game. In fact, not only did Hinske stay in the game, he hit the eventual game-winning HR. If was Hinske's 1st of the year, one fewer than Drew has, in 80 more ABs. Okajima closed out the win in the 9th inning, as Papelbon was unavailable due to an injury sustained in the Foosball Tournament Finals against Pedroia.

I was WICKED PSYCHED to see the Sox renew their eons-old rivalry with the arch-nemesis Atlanta Braves tonight, but they have been rained out. Devern Hansack will need to wait at least another day for his next no-hitter, in Saturday's split doubleheader. The weather is quite dreary and gloomy right now. Not unlike the hearts of Tigers fans.

Let Down

2008-02-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 5/16/07)

Red Sox Nation was expecting a Wakefield-Verlander pitcher's duel Tuesday PM. Verlander was very effective, allowing only two runs, over 7.2 innings. Wakefield, not so much. He allowed five runs over seven innings. The Sox just couldn't seem to get untracked, being held to eight hits. It was kind of a dreary performance for the Sox, but a lot of credit has to go to Verlander for quieting their bats. The Sox have still won 7 of 9, and still have the best record in MLB.

Highlights of last night's game included a Youkilis HR, a strong relief performance (1.1 IP, 1 BB, 3 K) by Kyle Snyder, and an outstanding catch by C Doug Mirabelli. Mirabelli dodged various obstacles, including bats, umpires, and dragons, to make a grab on a foul ball. The ball popped from his glove, but he grabbed it with his right hand. Sweet. But that was about it. I tried to help the Sox' chances by watching on mute (with closed-captioning) for a while, but it didn't help. The Sox trailed by five runs into the 9th, just as they did on Sunday, but there was no miracle this time.

Lowlights included Wakefield's performance, which increased his ERA to 2.41. J. D. Drew almost impaled himself on the short wall in front of the Sox bullpen. If the Sox hadn't begun the practice of retracting the outfield wall spikes when the Sox were in the field, the problem of finding enough AB's for Wily Mo Pena would have been solved. (Drew is day-to-day.) Amalie Benjamin was out of the lineup for Tuesday's game as the band she fronts was opening for Tool at the Tweeter Center. (Reports indicate that one of the show's highlights was when Amalie performed "Schism" with Tool in the encore. But that clip is not available on YouTube yet.) Neil Cafardo and Gordon Edes performed ably in her absence. Hopefully, Amalie and J. D. will return to the lineup soon.

Emphatic

2008-02-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 5/11/07)

Sometimes you can just feel that you are about to witness Greatness. That history is unfolding before your eyes. Perhaps Josh Beckett retires the first gajillion batters. Or David Ortiz hits two homers in the first two innings. Maybe Jerry Remy reduces Don Orsillo to a laughing, crying mass of play-by-play before the first pitch is even thrown. Clear indications that you are about to observe something truly memorable. When it was announced that Jonathan Papelbon would be mic'd up during batting practice, prior to Friday night's game against the Orioles, the denizens of Red Sox Nation had an inkling that something Great awaited us. But none of us could have predicted the extent of the Greatness that would soon come to pass.

Jonathan Papelbon started the pre-game show on it's ascent into immortality. The mic'd closer, holding court in the outfield, needled Josh Beckett over his decision to use the word "emphatic", in an interview. The inimitable reliever's assertion was that, since Beckett couldn't spell, or define the word, he shouldn't be using it. He presented his case to Manager Terry Francona, just as a child would ask a parent to mediate a dispute between siblings. Francona, handling Papelbon's concern with the same consideration he'd likely give to a pitching change, ruled in the reliever's favor. In the second segment, Papelbon asked Hideki Okajima and Daisuke Matsuzaka why Japan was known as the "Land of the Rising Sun", and then determined that Japan was located in the "Far West" because you could get there by going far to the west. (Mike Timlin was amused by this logic.) The third Papelbonian segment was marred by audio difficulties, but seemed to feature Papelbon and Timlin analyzing the terms of payment for a wager among the relief corps. Three top notch perfomances from Papelbon. These perfomances alone would have been worthy of pre-game show HOF consideration. The other segments of the pre-game show launched it into immortality.

Only one individual could have made this pre-game experience more sublime. That individual, of course, is Amalie Benjamin. Amalie made a glorious return from Scranton, the Land of Dunder-Mifflin, where she was scouting the PawSox. She made three appearances on the show. Yes, THREE. First, she was speaking on Tim Wakefield's brilliance. Later, she was addressing Devern Hansack's demotion to Pawtucket with Tina Cervasio. Then she was, AT THE NESN DESK on Yawkey Way, with Tom Caron and Ken Macha, commenting on the development of Jacoby Ellsbury. Hazel Mae and Tina Cervasio get all of the press, but you don't see them analyzing Ellsbury, and then qualifying their statement by mentioning that a small sample size was being considered. Comparing Hazel and Amalie is like comparing Huston Street to Jonathan Papelbon. Comparing above average to stellar. Apples to bricks of gold. SOLID GOLD, if that wasn't clear.

Hopefully, tonight's brilliance will serve as a precursor to the future of television. A pre-game show that is wall-to-wall Papelbon/Benjamin is just the beginning. I dream of a day where I can turn on the TV at any time, and watch Papelbon hunting ducks in Mississippi, from a duck boat he liberated from Boston. With Amalie commenting, to hilarious results. And I know there are others who share my dream.

Paco is a sneaky pepper

2008-02-18T18:39:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/11/07)

The Red Sox had a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the 1st Thursday night in Toronto. But the Blue Jays had loaded the bases, with one out, and slugger Frank Thomas at the plate. Tim Wakefield had a 2.11 ERA coming into the game, but was off to a bit of an inauspicious start. Wakefield fell behind 2 balls/0 strikes, before coming back to strike out Thomas for the second out. Then, in an instant, the inning was over. Catcher Doug Mirabelli fired a pickoff throw to 1st, where 1B Kevin Youkilis tagged out baserunner Troy Glaus, to complete an inning-ending double play.

That was pretty much it for the Blue Jays right there. Wakefield faced the minimum 18 batters over the next six innings, allowing only one measly single to Vernon Wells, who was retired when Wakefield induced Glaus to hit into a double play. Wakefield used his fastball much more than usual, at least 25 of his 93 offerings were his 78 MPH heater. His ERA is now 1.78. The Jays couldn't hit any of the Sox pitching last night, finishing with only five hits in the 8-0 loss.

The Sox bats had no problem with Jays ace Roy Halladay, who had one of the worst outings of his career. Halladay threw five innings, allowing eight runs (seven earned) on eleven hits. The Sox jumped to a 8-0 lead after 4 innings, with a three-run HR from Mike Lowell being the key blow. Kevin Youkilis (3 hits), J. D. Drew (2), Manny Ramirez (2), and Alex Cora (2) all had multiple hit games.

All that was left at that point was to see what kind of wackiness Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo came up with. Remy had Wakefield-like stuff, commenting on the official scorer ("Does he think he's at the Kentucky Derby with that hat?"), and the sneaky methods that Paco employs in the Pepper mascot races in Toronto. Jerry and Don also found an interview with a fan who saw Ted Williams play, in person, "many times" hilarious, as the fan's hair almost blew away. Don said, "It was windy", between chuckles. Jerry did that wheezing laugh for a few pitches, before suddenly fully composing himself mid-sentence. Very impressive recovery.

Also very impressive is the pre-game show for Friday's game, which I am watching right now. Actually, this may very well be the best pre-game show ever. Yes, that's right folk(s). EVER. It definitely merits a separate post.

Sox kick back and win again

2008-02-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/10/07)

It was a leisurely and relaxing night at the ballpark on Wednesday. It was good night for reminiscing about Manny Antics of the Past. (The acrobatic catch of a Johnny Damon relay throw was definitely my favorite.) A good night for hawking Matsuzaka headbands, which are good for "wedding and banquets." (I'm OK with RemDawg hawking his wares because, well, he's RemDawg. If Amalie Benjamin wanted to hawk her clothing line on the air, that would also be fine. I'm sure Amalie's line is much classier than that of the wife of that guy on the Yankees.) A good night to ponder just how many Red Sox should make the All-Star team. (Definitely, at least 11.)

The action on the field was pretty good too. For Sox fans. Boston demolished the Blue Jays, 9-3, in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the score would seem to indicate. It was the 8th straight loss for Toronto. Daisuke Matsuzaka was superb, allowing only one measly run in seven innings, whiffing eight. He avoided the one really bad inning that seemed to haunt him each start this season, and lowered his ERA from 5.45 to 4.80. The Sox belted four more HRs, courtesy of Messrs. Lugo, Lowell, Ortiz, and Ramirez. David Ortiz went 4 for 5 (.311 BA) and Dustin Pedroia (2-4) raised his BA to .267(!). It seems like just last week Lil' Dustin's BA was .172. (May 3rd) But he has gone on a 10 for 17 tear, giving him a .500 BA in May, coupled with a blistering 1.345 OPS this month. (Good thing they didn't send him down to Pawtucket, as this foresight-lacking blogger clamored for the Sox to do.) With the exception of J. D. Drew (4 for his last 41!), it was a good night for building up those All-star stats.

The 22-10 Sox go for the sweep at 7:07 tonight, with Tim Wakefield (3-3, 2.11) facing Jays ace Roy Halladay (4-1, 3.59). It seems like the Sox have spent half of their season facing Halladay and the Jays. Halladay has a 2.94 ERA against the Sox this season, in 2 starts. (So, I guess only 9% of the Sox' games have been against Halladay.) Hopefully, the Sox can continue their streak and get Wakefield some run support.

We'd make great pets

2008-02-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 5/9/07)

It was $2 Ticket Tuesday in Toronto, as the Blue Jays hosted the Red Sox last night. Even considering the exchange rate, the Toronto fans did not exactly get their money's worth. The Red Sox rode HRs from Pedroia, Varitek, Lowell, and Youkilis, and a strong pitching performance by Josh Beckett (7-0) to an easy 9-2 victory. Beckett lowered his season ERA to 2.51 with seven innings of one-run ball. The only run he allowed came on the 1st pitch he threw, a home run ball to Jays OF Alex Rios. Pedroia (2-4) and Varitek (4-4) continued their strong hitting, raising their batting averages to .254 and .284, respectively.

The Red Sox announcing team of Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo also brought their A game to Canada. I rather enjoyed when they spoke of getting a Pet Tavarez. But the best part was when, in the later innings, the Blue Jay faithful started throwing paper airplanes onto the field. Don Orsillo attempted to counter, presumably in defense of Red Sox Nation, but his poorly constructed airplane crashed and burned, not unlike Jays SP Victor Zambrano (2.2 IP, 8 ER). I think Jerry Remy spent pretty much the rest of the game trying to stop laughing after that. Hilarious. This is why you have to watch the WHOLE game, people. You never know what's going to happen with the Sox, or their announcers.

The Sox face the Jays again tonight, in a matchup of Japanese starters. Daisuke Matsuzaka will try not to have that one, single, horrific ERA-pummeling inning, and make a positive contribution to my fantasy team. He will be opposed by Tomo Ohka, who needs to stay in the AL, away from the Phillies (2.30 ERA against Philly in 74 IP). Ohka is, of course, best known for that Simpson episode for Bart pretended to be Ohka batting against Millhouse/Esteban Yan. So brilliantly random. Looking forward to another Sox win tonight, and more brilliantly random behavior from Remdawg and Orsillo. The only thing that could be better is a miked-up Jonathan Papelbon...

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

2008-02-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 4/28/07)

The Red Sox won their 3rd straight game tonight, 11-4 over the slumping Yankees. The Yankees have now lost seven straight, and sport an 8-13 record. They are the highest paid last place team in history right now, and they are not exactly showing a lot of life.

Daisuke Matsuzaka allowed 4 runs (all in the 4th inning), throwing 117 pitches over 6 innings. He seems to have problems in the 4th inning each game, but is very effective in the other innings. As soon as I devise a way of combatting this concern, without losing the DH for the remainder of the game, I will let Francona know. But I have nothing, as of yet. Timlin, Okajima, and Pineiro each pitched a scoreless inning of relief. Youkilis and Lugo each homered, as the Sox overcame an early 4-2 deficit, taking a 7-4 lead into the top of the 9th.

By the 9th inning, the game seemed pretty much over. With Papelbon warming up, there was no way the Yankees were coming back. But the Sox didn't need Papelbon, after scoring four runs in the 9th off Yankees closer Mariano Rivera. The All-Star closer was only able to record one out, as his ERA rose to 12.15. Rivera does not look too good these days, especially against the Sox. It might be the beginning of the end for a sensational career.

The best line of the night (non-Amalie Division) goes to Jerry Remy, who was frustrated by the inability of Yanks C Jorge Posada and RP Jose Vizcaino to figure out what pitch to throw, even though Vizcaino throws only two different pitches. I forget the exact line (should have been taking notes!), but Remy and Orsillo were cracking me up repeatedly tonight, as usual. (Update: Papel-blog remembered the quote: "So now we get to see Vizcaino not be on the same page as Posada maybe three or four more times." Tip of the Sox cap to Papel-blog!)
Amalie was awesome in her pre-game segment, but, inexplicably, still doesn't have her own NESN show.

The attendance was 55,000, but by the 9th inning there were seas of empty seats. I feel a little bad for the Yanks fans who stayed until the end, but for the 50,000 "fans" who left before the game was over, not so much. The Yanks still have an outstanding lineup, but unless they get some serious pitching help somehow, they're going to spend to rest of the season on their deathbed.

In Saturday's Fox matinee game, the Sox' Tim Wakefield (2.08 ERA) will oppose the Yankees' Jeff Karstens (14.54 ERA). It was originally the Yankees' Kei Igawa's day to start, but he has been pulled from the New York rotation, due to ineffectiveness. (I guess that's what happens who you go for the cheap Japanese free agent pitcher.) Saturday will be a prime opportunity for the Sox to drive another nail into the Yankees' coffin, in front of a national audience. Go Sox!

Bow Down

2008-02-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 4/23/07)

"I'd rather die than give you control.
Bow down before the one you serve,
You're going to get what you deserve."
-"Head Like a Hole", NIN.

When I saw the pitching matchups for the Red Sox' three game weekend series against the Yankees, I thought Boston had a good shot at two wins, or perhaps even a sweep. With Schilling, Beckett, and Matsuzaka slated to pitch against NY, there was plenty of cause for optimism. If you had told me the three aces would pitch to an ERA over 6.00 in the series, I would have figured Beckett got bombed, and the Sox won the other two games. (Yep. Still with the optimism.) I never would have figured the Sox would sweep under those circumstances. But sweep they did, in a fairly convincing fashion. Allow me to expound.

Game 1
The Sox set a ferocious tone early with the National Anthem performed by Tiger Okoshi, courtesy of Berklee. The anthem was jazzy, Japanese-y, and quite a bit on the frenzied side. Unfortunately, when the actual game started, the Sox fell behind early. Alex Rodriguez slammed two HR's, the 2nd of which sent Sox CF Coco Crisp tumbling over the wall into the bullpen. (I blame the scouting reports for that. Coco should have been positioned in the bullpen to begin with.) Schilling allowed 5 ER in 7 IP. The Sox trailed 6-2, entering the bottom of the 8th. But the Sox put up five runs in the 8th, two of which were charged to the Yanks venerable closer, Mariano Rivera. (Rivera was coming off four days of rest, after allowing a walkoff HR to Oakland's Marco Scutaro. Yes. THE Marco Scutaro.)
Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon had pitched the last two days, so was not available* to close the game. Concerned? How do you say, "No worries, mate!" in Japanese? Hideki Okajima pitched the 9th, saving the win. (*Note: Papelbon is a damn Jedi. Obviously, if the Sox had needed him for a batter or two, he would have come in and shut down the Yanks.)
Also worthy of note was the interaction between Daisuke Matsuzaka and Julian Tavarez in the Sox dugout, while Okajima picked up the save. There has been much speculation in the blogosphere on their topic of conversation. The crack linguistics team I have on retainer analyzed the tape, and came to the following conclusion. Matsuzaka was inviting Tavarez for Popeye's chicken after the game, and Tavarez was calling dibs for the crossbow, in the event of a brawl. Hope that cleared things up.

Game 2
The second game featured Josh Beckett starting against the Yanks' Jeff Karstens. The Yanks jumped ahead 2-0 in the top of the 1st inning, but the Sox countered with two of their own in the bottom of the inning. In the 2nd, the Yanks picked up two more, but the Sox immediately tied the game at 4 in the bottom of the frame. A pitcher's duel it was not.
But Beckett settled down after the first two innings, only allowing one additional run (unearned), in 6.2 innings. Karstens, on the other hand, got bombed for three more runs in the 4th, as the Sox opened up a 7-4 lead. Karstens finished the day with a season ERA of 14.54.
DH/Author David Ortiz did the bulk of the damage in the 4th, with a two-run HR.
The Sox took a 7-5 lead into the 9th, and Papelbon closed the door with yet another scoreless inning of relief. It was Papelbon's 5th save in as many chances. The Yanks stood about as good of a chance as the ducks and moose do against the indomitable stopper.

Game 3
Daisuke Matsuzaka started the 3rd game, opposed by the Yanks' Chase Wright, a starter in AA ball two weeks ago. The Yanks, again, jumped ahead early. They took a 3-0 lead after their half of the 3rd inning against the Gazillion Yen Man. It didn't seem likely that the Sox could come from behind again.
I was driving home, listening to the game on the radio, as the Sox batted in the bottom of the 3rd. With 2 outs, and Ramirez batting, I entered scenic Somerville, MA. Ramirez quickly slammed his second HR of the season. As I proceeded down Broadway, J. D. Drew followed with another HR. Obviously, my driving around Somerville was having a beneficial effect on the Sox' bats. Fortunately for the Sox, my return home was slowed by a steady procession of Red (Sox?) lights. Mike Lowell hit the 3rd consecutive HR. I could feel the roaring fans all the way from Fenway Park. (Note to self: Take car in for Maintenance. Soon.)
As Varitek batted, it was obvious that I needed to continue driving around Somerville until the Sox ceased hitting home runs. THEN VARITEK HOMERED!! The streets PULSED, opening up large chasms in the concrete. The planet's rotation was changed. I swerved to avoid plunging through a hole to the center of the Earth.
That fourth HR clinched it for me- I had a full tank of hideously expensive gas, and I'd be driving within the friendly confines of Somerville until the Sox HR streak stopped. IF it stopped. (My Honda Accord gets EXCELLENT mileage- I was in this for the long haul!)
Wily Mo Pena, however, failed to hit a HR. The historic streak ended at four, with the Sox taking a 4-3 lead. I elected to watch the remainder of the game at home, despite the Sox' 3.200 slugging percentage while I drove around.
After that, there was just no way that the Sox were going to lose. The Yanks scored the next two runs, taking a 5-4 lead into the bottom of the 7th. But Mike Lowell hit his 2nd HR of the game, a 3 run shot that game Boston a 7-5 lead. The Yanks closed to within 7-6 in the 8th. Matsuzaka's line was 7 IP, 6 ER. But Matsuzaka got his 2nd win of the season when Papelbon closed out the Yanks, and the series, with another scoreless 9th inning. The sweep was complete.

The next morning, as I parked my vehicle at work, I noticed the car of one of my esteemed colleagues. His car usually stands out, as a result of the large Yankee flag typically hung in the back seat.
However, the Yankee flag was conspicuously absent this morning. In its place was a sizeable Red Sox one. Symbolic of his foolishness to wager against the brilliance of the 2007 Boston Red Sox.
All is right in Red Sox Nation.

First Place Sox Win Again!

2008-02-18T18:25:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 4/19/07)

It didn't look like a promising matchup for the Sox in the rubber game of their 3 game series in Toronto. Red Sox SP Julian Tavarez, more known for his batshit behavior than his pitching proficiency, had not pitched for 12 days. He was opposed by Jays ace Roy Halladay, perennial Cy Young award winner, who was coming off a brilliant 10 inning complete game victory against Detroit. I didn't expect a Sox win under these circumstances, I merely hoped for some crazy antics from Tavarez, and perhaps an Amalie Benjamin appearance or two.

Julian displayed his usual bizarre mannerisms, but no particularly noteworthy crazy batshit stuff. There were no Amalie sightings, but I may have been distracted by the Phillies concurrent win over the Nats, and missed her. (Curses!) I will need to be more diligent in the future.

On the plus side, however, the Sox won! Batshit pitched only adequately (5.1 IP, 3 ER), but the Sox bullpenners (Pineiro, Romero, Timlin, PAPELBON!!) shut out the Jays for the final 3.2 innnings. Timlin allowed a hit and a walk in his shutout inning, but got out of the jam, showing the same ferocious determination he likely displays on the Killing Swamps of the South, in his excursions with his young sidekick, Closer Boy. Jonathan Papelbon came in to save the win in the 9th, walking 1 and whiffing 2 in another shutout inning by the ace closer. Papelbon has just been incredible this season. Papelbon's pitching line is 5.1 IP 1 H 0 ER 2 BB 11 K (!!!) so far this season. These numbers are as insane as his offseason hunting statistics. He has a .56 WHIP and a 18.56 K/9. When he enters the game, the opposing team can pretty much abandon all hope.

The Sox, despite their strong bullpen performance, still trailed Roy Halladay and the Jays by a 3-1 score, entering the 8th. Coco Crisp, who went 2-4 to raise his average to .167, started the inning with his 2nd bunt single of the game. Halladay retired Kevin Youkilis for the 1st out, but Jays Manager John Gibbons opted to remove his ace starter, bringing in southpaw reliever Scott Downs to face David Ortiz. Downs retired the Sox slugger on strikes for the 2nd out. Gibbons then opted to bring in reliever Shawn Marcum to face a slumping Manny Ramirez. That move backfired quite badly, as Manny tied the game with his 1st HR (finally!) of the season. Gibbons probably should have kept Halladay, who had thrown only 95 pitches, in the game. Alex Cora, starting at SS for Julio Lugo, saved Timlin in the bottom of the 8th, by turning two despite the attempt by burly Jays 1B (6' 2", 235 lbs) Lyle Overbay to break up the DP. Cora then tripled in the 9th off Jays closer Jason Frasor, keying the 2 run rally that help clinch the 5-3 win.

Now would be an opportune time for Manny Ramirez to heat up, with the Sox playing a 3game series at home against the archrival Yankees this weekend. The pitching matchups (Schilling v. Pettitte, Beckett v. Karstens, Matsuzaka v. Chase Wright) seem to favor the 1st place Sox- I think 2 wins this weekend is quite possible. Go Sox!

Sox in First Place!

2008-02-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 4/19/07)

The Red Sox moved ahead of Toronto (by .5 game), New York, and Baltimore (by 1 game) into sole possession of 1st place by defeating the Blue Jays tonight, 4-1. Tim Wakefield picked up his second (should be his third, though, damn Tejeda!) win, allowing only 1 run in 7 strong innings. He lowered his ERA to a sub-Beckett (1.50) 1.35. The Sox pitching is looking mighty good these days. David Ortiz hit his 5th homer, Doug Mirabelli (!) his 2nd (!!), and Mike Lowell his 1st, in an astounding show of offensive support for the ancient knuckleballer. However, Manny Ramirez (.191 batting avg., 0 HR), Coco Crisp (.136), and Dustin Pedroia (a Pawtucket-worthy .188) combined to go 0 for 10. Once Manny starts to hit, and Coco and Dustin grab some pine, the Red Sox will be totally unbeatable, as opposed to their current state of virtually unbeatable.

A somewhat surreal moment occurred late in the game tonight. I'm not talking about Doug Mirabelli providing offense. Or about any fans hurling ballpark fare at each other. (Note: "He is the Pepsi Fan of the Game, at least until he gets thrown out" has to be the Quote of the Year (non-Papel-blog Division)). Geddy Lee was probably at the game, but that's not surreal either.

The Great Jonathan Papelbon came on in the 9th to finish up for a conventional save. Unusual, perhaps, but not the surreal moment to which I will refer. After whiffing the 1st batter (Lyle Overbay) to face him, Jonathan Papelbon ALLOWED A HIT. A single by Jays 2B Aaron Hill. I was pretty surprised that the game wasn't stopped so that the ball could be saved for Cooperstown. PH/C Gregg Zaun followed with a walk, and the Jays had 2 runners. AGAINST PAPELBON. AT THE SAME TIME! Inconceivable. Following a sermon on the mount by pitching coach John Farrell, during with Jonathan did NOT cover his mouth with his glove (because he doesn't care if the opponents know what he is thinking- in this case, it was revealing to Farrell that "Papelbon" is worth 14 points in Scrabble) the indomitable closer struck out the next 2 Jays to end the game. Jonathan's OBA had been elevated to a non-Papelbonian .148, but I'm sure he'll get that back under .100 shortly.

In related Papelbon news, I have learned the following this week, which may be of assistance to my reader(s):

Making Papelbon references in a written evaluation is not necessarily "managerial" or "appropriate." (So, keep your Papelbon references in the workplace veiled.)

If your boss asks what you are up to, the reply "writing a Papelbon haiku" may not be the best response. (Instead, use "giving subordinates direction via written communication.")

Not all subordinates value the creativity of receiving direction via haiku. (Try a tanka.)

Finally, when speaking about a 3rd party in positively glowing terms, refrain from utilizing the phrase "innings-eater." Because, even though you may realize the term has positive connotations (unless prefaced with "league average"), others don't necessarily come to the same realization. They could become a bit disconcerted when the report, inevitably, makes its way back to them. Especially if they are on the rotund side.

Shenanigans and a Victory

2008-02-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 4/10/07)

Opening Day at Fenway Park went pretty much according to plan. A classy opening ceremony featuring the 1967 Sox. Rico and Yaz! Robert Goulet! (My 2nd favorite Goulet of all-time, after Michel.) The Sox player introductions. Daisuke! PAPELBON!!! Harry Connick, Jr. with the singing of "America the Beautiful." (OK, I might have gone in a different direction there, but that's alright.) A tearful Johnny Pesky exclaiming, "Play Ball!"

The whole ballplaying part also went pretty darn well, with the Sox triumphing 14-3, in a game that wasn't as close as the football score would seem to indicate. The Seattle Mariners hadn't played in about a week (they had spent that time watching snow fall in Cleveland), so they were a bit on the rusty side. Considering that, at their best, the Mariners are a below-average squad, they didn't have much of a chance at defeating the Sox in any competition today that didn't involve making snow angels. Eight of the nine Seattle starters were batting .231 or less by game's end, with 3 starters at .083 or less. Only Ichiro was batting over .300 (.308) at game's end, after Beckett struck him out in all three of the 2nd best Japanese player's ABs. Beckett picked up his 2nd win and lowered his ERA to 1.50, with a 7 inning/8 K effort, in which he allowed only 2 hits, ZERO walks, and 1 earned run. Joshua Patrick Beckett is starting to make me forget about the 5.01 ERA and the 36 HRs he allowed last season.

The Sox battered Mariners starter Jeff Weaver for 7 ER in the 1st 2 innings, gifting Weaver with a bloated 31.50 ERA, and probably leaving him wishing that he hadn't left St. Louis. J. D. Drew had a HR and 3 RBI in the blowout, with Jason Varitek also getting 3 RBI (3 for 4, now batting .250), and Kevin Youkilis going 3 for 5 (.286). The Sox had 14 hits in a dominating effort.

Even though Francona and the Sox were warned prior to the game that there were to be "no shenanigans", shenanigans did in fact erupt in the top of the 8th inning. Sox P Brendan Donnelly struck out old buddy Jose Guillen. There were some unpleasantries exchanged between the two, and Guillen took a few steps towards the mound, bat still in hand. Donnelly prepared for battle by removing his glove and his glasses, because that's how he rolls. The benches and bullpens cleared, but no punches were thrown. I'm pretty sure I saw Julian Tavarez in the middle of the fray, nunchukas poised to damage all who foolishly challenged him. It was convenient that he was positioned in the dugout, as opposed to in the bullpen, as his close proximity to the area of concern allowed him to assert his presence in a very timely manner.

The game lacked a game-ending performance by Jonathan Papelbon, but, besides that, it was finely scripted. With Daisuke Matsuzaka making his Fenway Park debut in a potentially great pitching matchup against phenom Felix Hernandez, and a certainly great matchup against Ichiro Suzuki, Red Sox Nation has another great day to look forward to on Wednesday.

Sox Start Season

2008-02-18T18:17:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 4/2/07)

The Red Sox start their season today in Kansas City against the Royals. Curt Schilling, with a $13 million/yr. contract and a spectacular blog, faces a blog-less $11 million/year Gil Meche. (If I was Gil Meche, I would have a blog in which I reference my contract status every other sentence. But, alas I make a wee bit less than that, so I must content myself with a blog referencing Jonathan Papelbon every other sentence.) The Sox need to take advantage of their early season schedule, and pick up some wins and a lead on the Yankees.

I think the Sox are going to have a great season. I am being totally, 100% objective here. Look at this stacked World Series-quality squad:

C- Tek. Superb defensively. Team leader. And that whole problem with the batting was fixed on Saturday.

1B- Youk. Greek God of OBP.

2B- Dustin Pedroia. God of...the Farm Gnomes? Ok. I got nuthin'. DP should be down on the farm in Pawtucket. Having a glaring hole like this on a team with a collective salary of over a gajillion dollars is bad. The Minions should be scouring the ballfields of the Dominican Republic and/or Liechtenstein, looking to upgrade here. Or at least scouring eBay and PropertyRoom.com.

I think a midseason trade will likely fix this position. It could be worse, though. The Sox could be filling an easier position on the defensive spectrum that should be occupied by a defensively-challenged slugger (for example, 1B) with a offensively-challenged journeyman (for example, Doug Mientkiewicz). Now that would be really bad.

3B- Mike Lowell. As long as he doesn't chew gum while he bats, he'll be very productive.

LF- Manny Ramirez. The Go-To-Guy for RBIs and eBay.

DH- Papi. 60 HR, 130 RBI.

I skipped a few positions because I am not a fan of the RF, CF, and SS. But I could waffle if they produce.

SP: Curt Schilling- 17 wins. Josh Beckett-Blister and WHIP issues are behind him now. Daisuke- Japanese for "Batters can't hit him worth shit." Wake- Knuckleballing Eater of Innings. Julian- English for "Batshit."

Closer: PAPELBON!!!

Jedi. Seller of vehicles. Duck-slaughterer. Fist-pumping batter-slaughterer. Entrepreneur. Did I mention Jedi?
Red Sox Nation's Raison d'Etre.
Expect 87 saves, sub-.30 ERA, one gajillion brilliant post-game quotes, 3 gajillion post-game "you know's."

The Red Sox project to 99 wins and a spot in the World Series.
Like Baseball Prospectus, my Math is trustworthy.

Go Sox!

Breaking Sox News

2008-02-18T18:14:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on 3/29/07)

Curt Schilling is not the only Rookie Blogger with the sources necessary to the be the first to break Red Sox News. Here are some of the Sox stories you'll be seeing in the next few days:

Jonathan Papelbon and Terry Francona announce a "strategic partnership" with George Lucas. Jonathan indicates that he is going to make "you know, gazillions of dollars."

Julian Tavarez is jailed after a failed attempt to break Ugueth Urbina out of a Venezuelan prison. Kyle Snyder (formerly of grunge band Alice in Chains) is chosen to replace Tavarez in the Sox rotation.

Mike Timlin denies a rumor that his injury concerns are stemming from an offseason hunting incident involving a rhinoceros. Jonathan Papelbon indicates that the rhino horn he is wearing around his neck was "found by Manny on eBay."

Dustin Pedroia is sent to Pawtucket after the Sox' request to allow Pedroia to hit from a batting tee during his At Bats is denied. Bud Selig labels the request "a travesty of mythic proportions." (He refrains from commenting on steroids or DirecTV.)
Terry Francona indicates that "they couldn't find a short enough batting tee anyways."

The Red Sox announce that, after "considerable internal discussion", it has been determined that Doug Mirabelli will be the catcher for all of knuckleballer Tim Wakefield's starts.

It is revealed that not only does Daisuke Matsuzaka speak English, he has a Masters Degree in the subject, and is the Editor for Schilling's blog. Schilling, through a Japanese interpreter, denies the need for an Editor.

The Return of Closer Boy

2008-02-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/26/07)

Ever since it was reported on ESPN (and the Breaking Sox News Blog) that Jonathan Papelbon would be returning to the closer role, there has been much discourse and speculation about the situation. Wasn't it supposed to be better for JP from a health standpoint to be a starter? Was this decision made because of the current team's lack of a viable closer of the non-Papelbonian variety? Was it because Tito wants JP to keep the 4402 duck carcasses in the bullpen, as opposed to in the dugout?

We've had various Sox players, various media types, bloggers, and other randoms weigh in on the situation. Surprisingly, even the typically laconic Curt Schilling had some comments on the matter. My favorite contributor, besides Papelbon himself, would have to be PapelMOM.

But there is one side to the decision that I don't believe has yet been satisfactorily examined.
The ramifications of the move of Julian Tavarez to the starting rotation. When I think of what kind of contributions I expect from each player, I think of what each player symbolizes to me.

Varitek=Leadership.
Youkilis=OBP.
Pedroia=Pawtucket.

When I think of what I want from Tavarez, one thought jumps out at me. I want the SHENANIGANS. The Batshit Craziness. The Sox need a major contribution from Tavarez if they expect to do well in the Random Acts of Senseless Standings. I'm just not sure that the Sox are putting Julian in the best position to help in the area where he can best contribute.

First off, Julian is more comfortable as a starter. If there's anything we don't want it's for Julian to be comfortable. Then there's less of a chance he'll randomly bodyslam an umpire. Or throw empty buckets of sunflower seeds into the stands in New York. As a starter, he'll probably appear in 30 different games, as opposed to maybe 80 different games as a reliever. Baseball Prospectus has proven that there is a higher incidence of Tavarez Craziness in games that he is actively involved in. It doesn't take a SABRmetrician to figure out that 30 is less than 80. While Tavarez' total IP will probably double, and it is possible that he will respond to batters that got a hit off him in their 1st AB by plunking them with a fastball (or a bat) in their 2nd AB, the probability of Batshit Craziness has decreased dramatically with Julian's insertion into the rotation. That is a tough pill for any Sox fan to swallow. Perhaps even tougher than that "Pedroia is a major-league 2B" pill.

During today's Sox-Reds game on ESPN, a Papelbon anecdote was related by the announcing team. Jonathan forgot to bring his baseball glove to the game. So he asked Varitek if he could borrow one of his.

In 10 years, I hope to still be hearing random Tales of Papelbon. Tales about ducks. Tales of money-making opportunities. Tales of awesome vehicles and crappy-tasting chicken. I hope that the Red Sox always act with Closer Boy's best interests at heart. Because he is the future. Not just of the Sox, or of baseball. The Future of HUMANITY. But I've already said too much...

Sickening

2008-02-18T18:08:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/26/07)

When I am zipping around the internets, voraciously devouring all of the sports, I don't typically notice the authors of the articles. After reading a really good (or bad) article/column, I'll make note of the author, but usually I just keep zipping along on a random internet walk.

Today, I clicked to read a column on Boston.com, that seemed to be about Schilling. By the time I was a few paragraphs in, I was sick to my stomach. At that point it was obvious that the author of that putrid piece of "writing" could be none other than CHB. Sickening. Hopefully, Curtis Montague Schilling won't respond to it in any way, or even acknowledge it.

Going forward, I pledge to check the author of each piece before reading, just as I wouldn't open up an unknown e-mail attachment. (Well, unless the attachment appeared to be Papelbonian in nature, of course.) Now, if only I could find some kind of CHB-ware to keep me and my computer free of future threats. Perhaps McAfee can help.

Win one-of-a-kind ticket and merchandise prizes!

2008-02-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/15/07)

The new Red Sox $10 scratch ticket will go on sale Tuesday, March 20th at the Lottery's 7500 licensed retailers in MA. It was unclear at press time whether either of my suggested names for the ticket- "Lucky Dice-K" and "Papelbones"- was selected. In addition to cash prizes, there is also the possibility of winning (Roof Deck, Monster seats, Pavilion, Grandstand, Suites) tickets for individual games. There is even the top prize of an entire DECADE of Red Sox-Yankees tickets!

There is also the chance you could win "official team merchandise that is unique to the $10 Red Sox Instant Ticket and cannot be purchased or found elsewhere." This merchandise includes David Ortiz' 1st base glove, Dustin Pedroia's bat, Theo Epstein's gorilla suit, and Manny Ramirez' "dread bag." You can also send in losing $10 Red Sox Instant Tickets for the opportunity to win 1 of 4402 duck carcasses, made available by Starter Boy himself!

So, on the plus side there is the chance to win fabulous and exciting Red Sox prizes and/or cash money. On the minus side, the lottery is a voluntary regressive tax on the poor and the mathematically inept. Probabilistically speaking, if you play the lottery, you are, in fact, a
bonehead. Which reminds me, I guess I didn't win that Rudy Seanez autographed baseball for sending in those losing $10 Red Sox Instant Tickets last year. Curses.

Papelbon pitches simulated game

2008-02-18T17:56:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/12/07)

Jonathan Papelbon was scheduled to throw a 50 pitch simulated game today. I haven't yet seen any reports on it yet, but I am pretty sure it went something like this:

Jonathan Papelbon enters the Sox clubhouse at 12:30pm. He is wearing a t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and a fishing hat that appears to have several fishing hooks stuck in it. His lightsaber hangs loosely from his waist. He is gripping a tennis ball in his right hand.

Manager Terry Francona is sitting on a bench near Papelbon's locker. He is focused on the screen of his laptop computer.

JP: We doin' the usual simulated game thing, skip?
TF: Yes. We have much to do.

JP sits down on the bench. He hurls the tennis ball at a concrete wall 30 feet away. He does this 3 times, catching the ball in his left hand as it returns.

JP: One down. Couldn't, you know, get around on my heater.
TF: (hasn't looked up, he is watching a clip of Padres SP Clay Hensley) You had good movement on that 2nd fastball.

JP throws the ball 3 more times.

JP: Another out. Did you see that curve I just threw?
TF: (focused on American Idol clip) It was a hanger. It was extra bases if (Simulated) Coco doesn't get such a good jump.
JP: I was, you know, trying to use my fielders.

Manny Ramirez enters the room. He is wearing a bathrobe and flipflops. Red dreadlocks protrude from the back of his 10 gallon hat. He is carrying a plate of baklava, and appears to be dancing ever so slightly, though no music, or musical apparatus, is apparent.

MR: How are you, Jonathan?
JP: Good, man, real good.
TF: (checking stocks) Manny, we need to do some fielding drills today.
MR: Yes, sir. (ambles away, ducking under the path of a JP heater)

JP throws 4 more pitches, retiring the side.

Doug Mirabelli enters the room. He is wearing a My Little Pony apron and a pink chef's hat.

DM: (to all) Lunch is now served. (to TF) Can I take off this damn hat yet?
TF: (watching a clip of The Simple Life) Not until the meal is complete.

JP starts the 2nd inning, getting the 1st out on a weakly hit ground ball.

Dustin Pedroia enters the room. He is in his full uniform, including spikes. Official game time is now 6 hours away.

DP: (to TF) I'm ready, skip.
TF: (watching batting clip of Indians OF Jason Michaels) Excellent.
Mike Lowell (to DP, from across room): Come over here, double play grounder.
DP: (to TF and JP) He calls me that because I catch a lot of double play grounders.
JP: (to DP) Yes, that's exactly why.

DP walks away, he does not need to duck to avoid JP's 2nd offering.

TF: (watching clip of Ozzie Smith doing flips) Way to work the lower part of the strike zone there.

JP continues to throw, retiring the side in order.

TF continues to surf the net- he is now reading Curt Schilling's blog. He furrows his brow and shakes his head gently. Suddenly, he becomes alert, scanning the room.

TF: I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Pitching coach John Farrell approaches.

JF: (to JP and TF) I've been waiting for you guys on the field- when are we getting this thing started?
JP: (to JF) These are not the Sox you are looking for.
JF: I wonder what Dougie made for lunch today. (walks away)

TF sends a MySpace bulletin.

JP starts the 3rd inning by plunking the simulated batter in the right shoulder.

JP: I was, you know, sending a message. I also want to practice doing that pitching thing that you do, you know, when you got guys on base. You know, just in case.
TF: (watching Beanpot highlights) Good thinking.

JP fires an errant pickoff throw. The ball ricochets off J.D Drew's foot. He clutches his left arm and falls in a heap.

TF glances at J.D. J.D. gets up immediately, rubbing the front of his neck.
TF continues filling in his NCAA bracket.

JP gets the 1st out on a force out. Simulated Dustin Pedroia has trouble getting the ball out of his glove and can't complete the twin killing. He glances at TF, gripping the front of his neck and grimacing.

(Simulated runner on 2nd, 1 out.)

Mike Timlin enters the room. He is dressed for hunting.

MT: (to JP) SB, let's get out of here. Eli and Peyton are waiting for us.
JP: (to TF) Can I go, skip, can I?
TF: (scanning the waiver wire of his Yahoo fantasy hockey league) Yes. That is enough for now.
JP: (jumps to his feet, walks towards exit with MT) Those football guys are coming again? They have no aim at all.
MT: Yep. More ducks for us...

Sox 11, Phillies 10

2008-02-18T17:55:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/9/07)

The Red Sox, allegedly, defeated the Phillies by an 11-10 score on Friday. I didn't get to watch, or listen, to the game as the 1pm start time conflicted with my employment responsibilities. But I did monitor the matchup on MLB.com. However, in Spring Training, MLB.com often lies about inconsequential minutiae, such as "the score", and "who's pitching."

MLB.com was definitely incorrect about the performance on Phillies ace southpaw Cole Hamels in the 1st inning. Four runs allowed in an INNING! Cole doesn't give up 4 runs in a MONTH! I can only see two possible scenarios. Either Cole was doing his Joe Cowley (1987 Phillies version) imitation- in which case he was dead on. Alternatively, the Phillies might have gotten a right-handed dishwasher from Denny's and had him pitch left-handed for the 1st inning. It is inconceivable the Cy Cole himself would pitch this poorly, under any circumstances.

Phillies LH relief specialist Matt Smith faced 8 batters (7 more than he faces in a typical appearance) and, allegedly, allowed 6 ER, while getting only 2 outs. Also quite unbelievable.
Maybe they played this game on Strat-O-Matic? Or perhaps it was just a simulated game played in Tito's mind. Two shutout innings by Manny Delcarmen? Impossible. (One shutout batter seems far-fetched.) The only part of that box score that seems viable to me is Runelyvs Hernandez' 3 runs allowed in 1.1 innings, raising his ERA to a staggering 18.69. Yikes. As questionable as the Sox bullpen is, I just don't see him being a part of it. Unless they keep him to fight with opponents and/or teammates. But it seems they already have Julian Tavarez for that.

Craig Hansen pitched an inning, allowing 3 H, 1 BB, and 2 ER. (It is not clear at this time whether it was really him, or Mike Burns again.) With Mike Timlin shut down for a week due to soreness in his oblique, and the Sox uninjured bullpenners turning in one poor performance after another, I am getting increasingly concerned. The opening of the season is less than a month away, and the Sox bullpen is in disarray. Hopefully, they'll be in better shape once the games start. Theo may need to make a deal or two.

On Saturday, the Sox and Josh Beckett face the Tigers and Justin Verlander. The Phillies will split their squad, with Freddy Garcia starting against the Devil Rays, and Jon Lieber against the Astros. All games are at 1:05pm. The Flyers also play the Bruins at 1:05pm, in a matchup of my 2 favorite teams, and the 2 worst defensive teams, in the NHL. Should be a good day for the sports...

Finally, there is an insanely funny blog posting over on SurvivingGrady.com. They are already in postseason form over there. Check it out!

Walk-off Sox

2008-02-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/7/07)

The Phillies AND Red Sox both won their games today with walk-off HRs by minor league infielders. I suspect that we will see more walk-off HRs this season from both of the 2007 World Series participants. (I also suspect not too many will be hit by Phillies farmhand 3B Brennan King and Sox minor league SS Ed Rogers, however. At least not at the Major League level.)

I watched the Sox game on NESN HD - the 1st Sox game I have watched in its entirety this year. They did not disappoint.
As a bonus, the Sox were facing the Mets, who are tied with the Yankees for the top spot on my "MLB Teams I Love to Hate" list. (The Braves are 3rd on the list.) The Mets lineup was missing Delgado, Beltran, LoDuca, and Green from their top 8, and Chan Ho Park, competing for a spot at the back of the rotation, was the starting pitcher, followed by Aaron Sele, also competing for a rotation spot. The Sox had, probably, their top 8 starting, with the (possible) exception of Cora starting over Lil' Dustin at 2B. Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield and Jedi Warrior Jonathan Papelbon were the 1st 2 pitchers for the Sox.

Wakefield looked pretty damn good, allowing 0 R, on 4 hits and 1 BB, over 3 innings. One of those hits was a looper to left that Lugo probably should have gotten to. The Sox scored a run on an inning-ending DP in the 1st, and led 1-0 after 3 innings.
Bob Ryan stopped by to chat with Remy and Orsillo for awhile, mostly about the 1967 Sox. He mentioned going to the ticket office to buy tickets a month before the end of that season, and picking up $3 box seats behind the plate for the season finale. Yikes. You can't get a Fenway Frank for $3 these days. But we do get to experience the wonders of the Virtual Waiting Room, while hoping for SRO tickets. Of course, we also have NESN HD. So it's all good. Somewhat good, at least.

W.B. Mason had more irritating commercials touting their same day delivery service in, quite possibly, the most irritating possible way. I do not like W.B. Mason commercials. Their blue pens also kind of suck. And their same day service is only available in "Metro Boston."

But Jordan's Furniture had an intriguing commercial where they promise that any furniture purchased in the next month is free, if the Sox win the World Series. Now the Sox will not be beating the Phillies in the World Series. That's just crazy talk. But maybe Jordan's could offer half off for a Sox Series APPEARANCE. I would be down with that. My couch is looking a lil' shoddy. (Not as shoddy as Tavarez' ERA, though.) Jordan's has really good stuff. I would totally endorse them if an appropriate offer was put on the table. Or if they gave me a new table. Are you listening, Jordan's?

Papelbon came in and was awesome, as usual. 3 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 4 K. His fastballs were in the 92-94 MPH range. Only threw a few non-fastballs, though. As a regular starter, he's going to need to use his curve and his Jedi Mind Tricks more than he did as a closer. Might be good to use them a little more now. When he left after the 6th, the Sox led 5-0.

Starter Boy gave an interview after his appearance- the part most memorable to me was the fact that he said "you know" 78 times when answering about 8 questions. (Yes. I counted the "you knows." I have a responsibility to my reader(s).) He did NOT mention any more ways to make a gajillion dollars.

The Sox took a page from the Phillies' Spring playbook, and utilized a bunch of players with numbers mostly greater than 70 to systematically blow their lead. Brendan Donnelly pitched poorly for the 1st time this spring, despite the fact that his #53 is lower than #70. He got 2 outs, and allowed 4 baserunners (2 H, 2 BB). Hideki Okajima came in with the bases loaded and 2 outs to face Damion Easley. Okaji got 2 strikes on Easley, and then threw a hanging curve that was popped for a game-tying grand slam. Donnelly was charged with 3 of those ER. With an assist from Okajima, Donnelly's ERA is now an unsightly 12.27.

The next 1 and a half innings were fairly uneventful. Don Orsillo, Jerry Remy, and Tina Cervasio mostly talked about the zoo. (For the record, Jerry Remy has transitioned past the time in his life that the zoo was exciting to him, but he is intrigued by the thought of seeing an albino raccoon.) I will cut them some slack, however, seeing as this is Spring Training. Besides their "zoo talk" was somewhat amusing. I really enjoy the Orsillo-Remy team. They are very knowledgeable and have a good rapport. Great to listen to. The only duo I can think of right now that I have enjoyed more than them was the Harry Kalas-Richie Ashburn Phillies combo. I look forward to another season of the Sox on NESN.

Back to the game, the Sox loaded the bases in the 9th off Mets reliever Ambiorix Burgos, best known for blowing saves for Kansas City last season. With one out, Ed Rogers hit the game-winning slam to left. An exciting win for the Sox. I figure that they have another 125 or so ahead of them this year. Go Sox!

The Rivalry Begins...

2008-02-18T17:47:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 3/5/07)

The Philadelphia Phillies and the Boston Red Sox fought a titanic battle of the preseason variety on Saturday. A battle between the whole of both organizations, beginning with MLB starters, and ending with a bunch of minor league dudes with really high numbers on their backs. The Phillie-uniformed peeps outlasted their Sox counterparts 12-9, in 10 frames laden with determination and ferocity.

A century from now, some baseball historians will point to this game as the one that launched the Phillies-Red Sox rivalry that dominated the 21st century sports landscape. (Others will point to the 2007 World Series, the Clearwater beanbrawls of 2008, or Schilling's return to Philly, as the point at which Phillies-Red Sox replaced Yankees-Red Sox as THE baseball rivalry.)

But, regardless of your point of view, we are about to embark on a wild ride. No, not "wild" like the Phillies' ride to 10,000 franchise losses. A good Papelbonian "wild."

Now that the Sox and Phillies have each played a handful of Spring games, you can pretty much tell what's going to happen this season. Now, some people will speak of things like "small sample size", "inconsistent levels of competition", and "the MLB starters are playing the Par 5 7th hole by the 5th inning." (Watch out for that sand trap to the left of the green, starters!)

But those people are farther off base than Julio Lugo. A bunch of fallacious hooey, actually.

Here are of few things I've figured out so far: (SPOILER ALERT!)

Starter Boy (Spring ERA: 0.00): Jonathan will have 12 wins and a 2.12 ERA by midseason. After the ASG, he will have 22 saves and a 3.04 ERA*. (Note: 2nd half ERA inflated in bombing by the Twins in a non-save situation.) JP will be replaced in the rotation by a former Red Sox P named Roger.

Wannabe Closer (Spring ERA: 15.43): Joel will be Octavio Dotel's setup man in KC by August.

Manny's voicebox (Spring ERA: 13.50): Julian will be Rich Garces' setup man in NH by August.

Redlocks (Spring BA: .000): Manny will hit his 500th career HR in July, miss an extended period of time in August with left (and/or right) knee problems, and return to hit 5 HR in the playoffs. Trade requests will outnumber requests to finish his career as a Sox by 6 to 4.

Coco (Spring BA: .200): Coco's inability to hit will open up more ABs for Wily Mo.

J.D. (Spring BA: .333): J. D. will play in every inning of every game and finish 2nd to Joe Mauer in MVP voting. He will be lauded for his consistency and leadership skills.

New, possibly Evil, SS (Spring BA: .333): Julio will continue to struggle with that whole throwing thing- his .287 BA will not be enough to make up for his 32 E-6's. 32 Errors by JUNE. His season will end in July, due to an "undisclosed off-field concern." The Sox will acquire a new 2B and SS before the trading deadline. The SS will be crucial in the Sox playoff run, but will cost them prospect Jacoby Ellsbury.

Lil' Dustin (Spring BA: .111): DP will be part of Pawtucket's DP combo by May. His dream to be the 1st Hobbit to hit .300 in MLB is dashed by his inability to be the 1st Hobbit to hit .200 in MLB.

$.9 Million MVP (who still gets an allowance from Mama Howard) (Spring SLG: .875): Ryan Howard will hit 67 HR in another MVP season.

Cole (Spring ERA: 0.00): Cole Hamels' 1st (of many) 23 win Cy Young seasons. The young SP will also team with Chase Utley to defeat Global Warming.

Abe (Spring BA: .429): After failing to trade the .143 hitting late inning defensive replacement, the Phillies will release him in June and eat his salary. Danny Sandoval, will replace him on the roster and have 23 ABs the rest of the season (0 of those ABs will be in the postseason).

Roy Hobbs (Spring SLG: 1.500): Will lead AAA Ottawa with a .323 BA.

Blister and Donut Eater will both be making their Spring debuts today. It should be a great season. So, pick up your Special Limited Edition license plate, and enjoy the ride!

Quest for the Mayor's Cup

2008-02-18T17:45:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 2/28/07)

The Red Sox start their Grapefruit League schedule in mere hours against the Minnesota Twins in a Mayor's Cup matchup. Curt Schilling gets the start for Boston tonight. I am fairly certain that Curtis Montague's contract automatically renews for an additional year if the Sox win the Mayor's Cup. (Well, pretty sure.)

The Twins counter with young fireballer Matt Garza, best known for his meteoric rise through the minors to the Twins rotation last season. Minnesota likely realizes that they won't be a legitimate World Series contender until a hard salary cap and cyborgs enter the MLB landscape, so they should be going all out to win the Cup. Ellsbury and Murphy will be in the Sox starting lineup, and closer candidates Pineiro and Donnelly are expected to see action. I can't wait to see the Sox get under way...

Courtesy of MLB.TV, I got my 1st taste of Spring Training action today, watching Detroit defeat the Mets, 5-4. The Mets had weak starting pitching, courtesy of Pirates castoff Oliver Perez, and 3 of their 4 runs were scored in garbage time, when the Mutts padded their fantasy stats against some AA P's. Obviously, the Mets WILL NOT BE A FACTOR in the NL East, paving the way for the Phillies to return to the World Series in a rematch of the 1915 Fall Classic against the Boston Red Sox. I look forward to spending the money I saved by not buying tickets to see The Police, on Phillies World Series games at Fenway. $1800 for an Upper Bleachers ticket? No problem. Would you prefer PayPal, or shall I hand-deliver the cash immediately?

MLB.TV, which was a bit erratic in its' performance at times last season (freezing/slow-moving pictures, Phillies losing winnable games in the late innings), started slowly today with a big white screen that said "Error!", when I tried to login. But when it started working soon thereafter, the picture was crisp and clear, the sound as pleasant as possible, considering the broadcasters were of the New York Mets variety. However, I will wait to see if MLB.TV adversely affects the performance of the Phillies bullpen this season before issuing my final evaluation.

While MLB.TV usually blacks out the commercials, today I was able to watch them. Yes, I like to watch the commercials of MLB teams from far, far away. I like to see their commercials enticing fans to watch the team on TV and/or at the ballpark. I also enjoy seeing the commercials for distant and exotic places like "Round Table Pizza" and "Jack In the Box" and their culinary delights.
But I must admit I do get a bit bored of the same Sox commercials ad infinitum. Especially that damn W. B. Mason commercial. You know the one of which I speak.
Also, to clarify things a bit: No, I have no memory of my (alleged) role in an (alleged) attack on a mustachioed W.B Mason associate, (allegedly) utilizing large binder clips and crappy pens with a shorter shelf-life than the 2006 Red Sox version of Jason Johnson. Additionally, I have no knowledge of the nature of the video surveillance system at the location of the (alleged) attack. But if you want to know how I WOULD have done it IF I had, you can buy my book available this October. Between Phillies-Sox World Series tickets and my book, you have some serious saving up to do...

GO SOX!

There is no emotion; there is peace

2008-02-18T17:41:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 2/26/07)

Manny Ramirez reported to Sox Spring Training Camp this morning in what was, quite frankly, a brilliant move. His post-Daisuke arrival afforded him much more media coverage than if he had reported on time.

Even better, he is being lauded in some circles for "reporting early." Well, I guess he was "early." "Early" not as in "before the date the Red Sox required position players to report", but rather "before the (arbitrary) date a random relief pitcher (Julian Tavarez) indicated Manny would show up."

I will be using this technique in the future. The next time I'm given a deadline, I will have a subordinate (preferably one with a history of disciplinary concerns) announce on which post-deadline date I will complete the task. I will then attempt to sell my 2001 Honda Accord, and an autographed photo of myself, for 200K in New Jersey, when I should be working on my task. Then I will report, with my task completed, after my boss' deadline, but prior to the deadline announced by my lackey. My agent will give an interview reminiscent of the highly-informative Rosenhaus-Owens interviews. I will not speak to the media. And the big story will be my new red dreadlocks.

Now that Manny has reported, Schilling has not been given a contract extension, and Daisuke has been in camp for awhile, I'm hoping the drama and hype will die down. A least a little. I'm ready for the next phase of Spring Training. The phase where actual games are played on actual fields involving, for the most part, actual players. I can't wait to see Daisuke mow down Liberal Arts majors from Boston College. (BC SUCKS!) I'll be excited to see Ellsbury hit .450, proving that the Sox' farm system is indeed strong. When Pineiro retires 2 AA roster-filler types and a future COSTCO associate in order to pick up a save, my concerns over the closer postion will be diminished. When Beckett gets bombed, I'll realize that he was "working on some stuff", and take solace in the knee-buckling curve ball he threw on the pitch before he gave up that grand slam. And no matter what Papelbon does, he is still a Jedi. And it's always good to have a Jedi around. Especially in a brawl. Or on a duck hunt.

No Tix for you

2008-02-18T17:37:00.000-08:00

(originally posted 2/23/07)

On Friday morning, I had an e-mail from the Red Sox when I checked my inbox. I figured it was a response to my suggestions on how to handle The Incident of Manny and the Car Show.

But it was actually pertaining to my participation in a lottery for a ticket purchase opportunity. Unfortunately, my entry was not selected for this ticket purchase opportunity. Again. But I am still eligible for the drawing for the opportunity to purchase Right Field Roof Deck tickets, which will take place over the next few weeks. As always, my loyalty to the Red Sox is unparalleled, and John Henry would like to thank me for my loyalty by offering my 10% off any purchase at the Red Sox online store.

I think my unparalleled loyalty should be worth a little more than that. Maybe each time I am among The Unchosen for a Sox Ticket Purchasing Opportunity, that % off should increase by 10%. Or perhaps double each time. Alternatives to this include extra chances (more ping pong balls with my name on them?) in each subsequent lottery, or an autographed Kyle Snyder ball. I am not too picky.

As for Manny's latest issues, I have no innovative advice to offer. (I may not be worthy of the Snyder ball, after all.) They are not going to trade Manny and his stats, unless they get sufficient value in return. Which they won't, considering his salary and his, um, eccentric, behavior. They are pretty much stuck with him. So they'll just have to deal with his Manny ways, and try to minimize the damage his behaviors (and their non-reactions to these behaviors) can do to the team. They are fortunate to have strong leadership types in the clubhouse like J.D. Drew, Julio Lugo, and Julian Tavarez- masters of team harmony who won't let any individual factors get in the way of the success of the team as a whole.

Speaking of J.D. Drew, he feels really healthy and uninjured right now. Good show, J.D. Well, except for the fact that it is fucking February. He'll be probably be missing games for undisclosed reasons by the 3rd week of the season. At least that should open up some ABs for Wily Mo.

Matsuzaka is scaring me a bit- playing long toss at 200 ft. wicked early in training, 103 pitch bullpen sessions- I hope he doesn't use up too many bullets before the real games start. Theo says this is commonplace for Daisuke, but you'd have to think throwing so much now (as well as during his seasons in Japan) could affect him later this season, and later in his career. Hopefully, if such adverse effects pop up, it will be after 6 glorious seasons with the Sox. And if the baseball doesn't work out for Daisuke, maybe he could fall back on the golf.

Duck

2008-02-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on 2/13/07)

Jonathan Papelbon's best recipe for duck, as reported by Boston.com:

Marinate the duck in Coke (yes, you read that correctly) and Italian dressing in a Ziploc bag. (Papelbon said the soda removes the game-y flavor from the duck.) Then slice the duck breast into four pieces. Wrap each of those in bacon, jalapeno peppers, and sour cream. And then, in his words, "throw it all on a grill, and it's amazing."